I'm so glad that meltdown is over. Or rather, that MELT. DOWN.
It was useful, though. There were a couple things that I needed to be heard on, and until that point, I wasn't being listened to. Or rather, I was being listened to, but not heard.
Also, all that fuck the fucking fuckity fuck fuckers fuck! And the fucking fuckishness of the fuckfuckfuck! It all really helped. Phew!
I feel much better today. Today I hate the historic place and all they stand for a little less. Which is great, considering.
One of the things I told a friend yesterday, though, in the middle of my fuck the fucking fuck, was that I was tempted to quietly pee in an out-of-the-way corner. In lieu of creating the drama of wine pouring and candle lighting and such. And possibly being arrested on my wedding night.
Which I wouldn't put past the fuckity fucks.
But back to the possible peeing in a corner.
It is, of course, exactly the kind of thing I am not going to do. It is also the kind of gross, slightly horrifying thing I would come up with on my own.
Except that this time, I didn't.
One of my friends and colleagues has a boyfriend who grew up in Morocco. He's this very well educated, handsome guy. Very clean cut, sharply dressed, and with a super high powered job.
And when she is really upset about something? Like at her last job with her jerky boss? And she'd come home with a terrible story about something he'd done?
He would say, "Would you like me to pee on him?"
Seriously. In his culture, this is up there with the biggest of insults.
The vision is pretty excellent, I have to say. Well dressed man, standing on desk, peeing on evil boss? Or sneaking up behind, and peeing on the back of the neck? Horrible surprise.
Who among us wouldn't love to inflict that on someone in our lives?
But then this led me to ask if the person has to do the actual peeing on of the person. Because could you just bring some pee to work with you?
Would be much more convenient, you must admit.
Maybe have them pee in a Tupperware container? You know how they have those screw-top bottles with a round bit in the top that pops open? Maybe you could save a bottle of pee to be used in really terrible emergency circumstances?
Obviously, it's not as dramatic. But the person would still be peed on all the same.
You would necessarily label it "pee" - because of course you wouldn't want to confuse your pee Tupperware with your food Tupperware. This is what I do with my dye containers.
I mean, in case you're thinking of trying this at home.
Soooo, yah. Anyway, hi! It's Wednesday!