Friday, April 20, 2007

Suicide

I will be back at the hospital again in four and a half hours. I should be asleep and I just can't. And so I'm writing.

This is my deep, dark secret. The thing that probably most defines me, and is not about me. My dad has tried to commit suicide five times. The most recent being last night.

He's in the ICU in a coma. They don't know how long his brain was without oxygen. They don't know if he'll wake up. My mom is there in case he does. I just came home, ostensibly to get a little sleep, to get some stuff for tomorrow.

His name is Michael. If you pray, please pray for him. If you think positive thoughts, please send them to him. If you visualize, please, please imagine him opening his eyes and being OK.

I love him so very, very much. I am trying to be hopeful, despite the fact that the doctors say signs are not good.
Posted by Lemon Gloria on Friday, April 20, 2007
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25 comments:

  1. vvk4/20/2007 6:40 AM

    My prayers are with your father, you, and your family. I have some experience with suicide, but I still can't imagine what you're going through.

    Be strong. Keep hope.

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  2. Beakerz4/20/2007 7:38 AM

    My prayers are with you and your family in this time of trouble and need.

    vvk says it all perfectly.

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  3. Anonymous4/20/2007 7:52 AM

    This community loves you and embraces you, and it is a safe community to turn to when you need us. We come to you in good times, we are there for you in bad times... hard times. Let us be there for you. Be brave. Be as strong as you can be, and then when you're ready to fall, fall into the arms of those who love you. You and your father are in our thoughts and prayers.

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  4. Peter4/20/2007 8:20 AM

    My family will pray for your Dad tonight. I will say a quick one right now.

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  5. Slim4/20/2007 8:45 AM

    Sheezum. I am very sorry. My thoughts and positive vibes are all coming your way.

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  6. Alexandra4/20/2007 8:53 AM

    I'm sending positive vibes your way.
    Be strong!

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  7. Brian4/20/2007 9:09 AM

    I'm so sorry. I've had suicide affect two families of close friends, but not my own. I can't even imagine.

    Sending lots of positive thoughts his way. And yours.

    So who do we talk to about getting this whole week as a do-over, anyway?

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  8. LMNt4/20/2007 10:08 AM

    Oh god, babe.

    I just left you a vm.

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  9. hastalvistababy4/20/2007 10:44 AM

    I don't know what else to say other than I'm really, really sorry. :( Which seems strange because I don't even know you, but at the same time I feel badly for you, and hope that everything is OK!!

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  10. HomeImprovementNinja4/20/2007 11:48 AM

    So sorry about this. If there's anything I can do, please let me know.

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  11. Anonymous4/20/2007 12:12 PM

    You and your father are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope more than anything that this becomes okay very, very soon.

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  12. roosh4/20/2007 12:52 PM

    I hope for the best.

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  13. Anonymous4/20/2007 12:58 PM

    Oh sweetie, my prayers are with your family. Stay strong. Keep us posted if you need to vent. (((((hugs)))))

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  14. *moosie*4/20/2007 1:34 PM

    my prayers and hopes are all with you...stay strong for as long as you can, but know that there are people here who will catch you when you just can't be anymore.

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  15. Anonymous4/20/2007 2:00 PM

    Your Dad and family are in my prayers. I'm sorry your family is going through something so painful.

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  16. East Coast Teacher4/20/2007 2:21 PM

    I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you - stay strong and think positive thoughts :)

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  17. Jo4/20/2007 4:24 PM

    Oh god, I'm so sorry. I'll be praying for you.

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  18. Anonymous4/20/2007 4:37 PM

    Doll, I am so sorry. Just heard the news from Kelli and my heart goes out to you in a huge way. I've only known you for that one night with Kelli, but you're an amazing girl with unbelievable strength, and I know you'll get through this with the support of your family and friends. My prayers go out to you and your Dad, Michael, right now for a miraculous recovery and his return to health. Big hugs to you, beautiful.

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  19. Anonymous4/20/2007 4:48 PM

    I'll be hoping for the best for you and your family.

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  20. Across The River4/20/2007 6:55 PM

    So sorry to hear about this. I'm hoping for the best.

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  21. Two Roads4/20/2007 9:33 PM

    Sending positive thoughts.

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  22. Anonymous4/21/2007 12:12 AM

    My heart is heavy reading this news...you, your father and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  23. Anonymous4/21/2007 5:22 AM

    I'm so sorry, my best to you and your family. Positive thoughts are going out to you.

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  24. inowpronounceyou4/22/2007 10:26 PM

    I just saw this today for the first time. I'm so sorry, but I'm here if you need anything. A cup of coffee or a cup of gin, conversation, dinner...whatever. Just let me know.

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  25. Anonymous4/23/2007 4:55 PM

    Lemon, I'm behind on my reading and I'm only now receiving word of this. I ache for you. Please know that you are in my thoughts and if there is anything - ANYTHING - I can do, I'm here.

    Sending you warm thoughts to you and your family.

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