Let me just start out by saying that my goal with the stomach posts - which I plan to do weekly - is to have a record of progression.That was taken this morning. I think you can still see the sleep-shirt creases in my skin.
In response to last week's post, I got a number of comments and emails about how small my stomach is. I got some eye rolling and snide comments from friends. I made a couple people feel fat.
I hate knowing that. I'd never try to do that to anyone.
I know my stomach isn't big yet. It's taking a longer than I anticipated, but it makes sense. My stomach is the last place I gain, ever. Well, except for my boobs.
My stomach isn't the main reason I don't fit into my pants. My pants don't fit because my thighs and ass have expanded at a quicker rate than the area of my body surrounding my uterus.
I get that we're all built differently, but that, that I hate.
Weight and body image are difficult issues for me, and I have a long history of hating my size and shape - my legs in particular. Anyone who has ever had a complicated relationship with food and body knows that it doesn't have to do with how big or small you actually are.
It's mainly, I think, about how you feel about who you are in your head. But there are so many layers to it.
I think I've almost figured out what's currently going on, though. I just need to take some time to articulate it.
So there we have it. A tummy-a-week. Because I'm interested, and because I'm comfortable enough with that.
You don't, however, see me posting up-close pics of my thighs. And you never will.
Well, I can tell you that with my pg, all of a sudden, I just "popped" one day. I went into maternity clothes at 18 weeks. Before that, like you, it was my ASS that I couldn't fit into my pants. Don't worry, eventually, you'll just look adorably pregnant!
ReplyDeleteDude, I hear ya. My sisters are built differently than I am (they gain weight more consistently across their entire body whereas I only gain weight from the hips down) so whenever I complain about my body (which I do, uh, constantly) they bitch me out for being one of those chicks who complains about being fat even though she's skinny. And I'm not (one of those chicks OR skinny.) I'm very pear-shaped and I covet my older sister's lovely hourglass shape.
ReplyDeleteOh look at that, I've made your blog all about me. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I know what it feels like to only be able to focus on the non-lovely body parts, even though I possess some lovely body parts. I think it's freaking awesome that you are comfortable enough with yourself to post pictures of your stomach on the internet.
And I'm sorry for babbling. My coffee is still brewing.
Hey, nothing can make me feel fat except my jeans. I am loving your pictures, I can't wait to see pictures in a few months!
ReplyDeleteI think the tummy-a-week pics are great, I'm excited to see the progression! And I hear you on the complicated relationship with food and body...I know that no matter how many times someone tells you that you look fantastic that it's almost impossible to use that sword to slay your own body dragons. But I know you look fantastic anyway :)
ReplyDeleteCheryl - Wow - 18 weeks! I am dreading having a big stomach, but I am also so looking forward to really looking pregnant, rather than just feeling it.
ReplyDeleteHillary - I so totally appreciate that - you absolutely get it. That's exactly what I mean and what I feel. There are pieces of my body I love more than others, and yes, I want to be able to complain about the less-preferred ones without people being all, shut up, you're skinny.
Maiden Metallurgist - Thank you for the laugh!
*moosie* - Thank you! I'm so glad to hear that. I love putting up this record. And yes, exactly, it's your own body dragons. But who doesn't love a great compliment? :)
I love your belly shots! I am so glad you post them. As I am not close and don't, unfortunately, get to see you all the time, like I would love to be able to do, your photos make me feel like I am with you, watching the beaner grow inside.
ReplyDeleteThe "popping" happened to me as well-and it was around that same time, maybe 20-22 weeks. People say for the second, that "truly pregnant look" happens more quickly, too, which seems wonderful---there is something nice about things looking more obvious on the outside, because there is just so much happening inside.
On the other hand, that's when you start to get the random stranger commments.
I'm rubbing the screen right now - without asking you your permission. Get used to it - when you "pop" you'll find that folks can't keep their mitts off of your baby brewer.
ReplyDeleteyou look so big in these pictures, you could stand to miss a meal or two... I'm just putting that out there... I'm not a speech-maker. Just saying.
ReplyDeleteIt is a good thing that your stomach isn't pooching out quickly, because it means you have good stomach muscles...you are in shape!
ReplyDeletethe reason your thighs and ass are big is because your skeletal system is widening to allow for the delivery. I am SURE you know this, but I just wanted to see if it made you feel better. your thighs in fact, are fine, it's those pesky bones that are causing all the trouble.
ReplyDeleteJanie - I kind of wish all my friends had blogs so I had this window into their worlds. I love seeing the day-to-day with you guys.
ReplyDeleteAs for the random stranger comments, hopefully having a blog has me better prepared for that than I would've been before. It's so different in person, though.
FreckledK - I know - people head straight for baby tummies. And I am one of these people that strangers feel comfortable reaching out and touching. Like, when I had boy-short hair, people I'd just been introduced to would regularly, without asking permission, just reach over and run their hand up the back to see how it felt. Weird.
Anonymous - Um...
CG - It's true. I worked the hell out of my abs earlier this year, and I'm still working on them, just more gently.
Sarah - I love you for this, but I don't believe it. Maybe later, maybe in the hips. The around-ness of my thighs and the pokey-out-ness of my ass are both bigger - and this has nothing to do with bones. It's just where my weight likes to head first.
Did Anon 12:41 provide you with your very first hateful comment? Hurrah to anonymous cowards for taking the time out of their pathetic days to deliver insults to undeserving persons! Yay!
ReplyDeleteDid Anon 12:41 provide you with your very first hateful comment? Hurrah to anonymous cowards for taking the time out of their pathetic days to deliver insults to undeserving persons! Yay!
ReplyDeleteI meant it so much I posted it twice!
ReplyDeleteFreckledK - At first I read it as unkind, but I think it might just be sarcasm. So hard to know when you don't know the person.
ReplyDeleteAnd I so appreciate you getting your protective hackles up for me.:)
looking over my "bump progression" pics from my first pregnancy, it wasn't until around week 15 or 16 that the belly suddenly became discernably pregnant looking. but I can definitely see a slight pooch as compared to last week, so you're getting there. You look so cute!
ReplyDeleteYay week 13! I hope this hasn't totally replace TMI Fridays? Or I guess for some this counts? I definitely fall into the "has body issues" category.
ReplyDeleteWendy - I'm so glad you said that! I see it, for sure, even though it's still subtle.
ReplyDeleteHKW - Oh, that's Live It Love It's TMI Thursdays - which I'm certain I'll participate in again sometime.
And I know very few women not in the "has body issues" category in some way or another.
Oh, and congrats on getting through your first trimester!
ReplyDeleteWould you like em to stab Anon for you? I am scrappy.
ReplyDeleteYou have every right to document this amazing time. Do so without apology.
Me to stab them that is. I was so annoyed I lost my ability to type.
ReplyDeleteWendy - Thank you!!! It's big! And a big relief!
ReplyDeleteLemmonex - Oh, thanks sweetie. I appreciate the protectiveness. And I never misread your typos.
Yay for doing tummy a week pics! I wish I had done that, I think it is a great way to capture the pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteI also put weight on in my ass and thighs. Hate that.
And sweetie- you officially have a tiny belly! How exciting!!!!
Also, I volunteer to track Anon down and give him a swift kick in the ass- obviously a man. Geez.
Of COURSE "anonymous" was being sarcastic - duh! you don't even look pregnant! i haven't been pregnant in almost eighteen years, but i look WAY more knocked up than you do, hon!
ReplyDelete"It's mainly, I think, about how you feel about who you are in your head."<----That, that is it EXACTLY!! Even at my lowest weight lately, I wasn't still ideal according to the chart in my doctor's office, but I felt good, and that seemed to be all that really mattered.
ReplyDeleteAnd I, for one, am excited to see belly shots! I promise you're not making me feel fat. :)
you look great....
ReplyDeleteDude. You should totally temp-tattoo the current fruit onto your side for each week's pic. Either that or photoshop it in.
ReplyDeleteAnd if the fruit carries over to the following week's picture, line up two duplicate images, like one might see on a slot machine register.
mrsmac - I love this idea, and I figure since blogging is totally self-indulgent anyway, why not?
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, a little baby belly! I've been waiting and waiting!
LJ - I do think so, but it is very hard to tell how to read things...as for looking preg - I'm working on it! :)
Sarah - I do think that's true, and knowing your body and where you feel good is the most important. My normal weight is at the high end of the chart for my height, but I know I have a lot of muscle. And even not preg, I'm just not willing to starve/overexercise myself like I used to to be smaller than this.
Italian Bird - Thank you! :)
Anon - Is this Sam? I LOVE this idea, of course.
I can definitely see a little difference from last week! Hooray for tummy-a-week.
ReplyDeleteI agree with LiLu, there's a definite difference there, and it's wonderful. In fact, I think I see a bit of a glow there...
ReplyDeleteBig YAY for belly!! Thank you so much for sharing the weekly belly. Very happy-making! :) :) :)
ReplyDeleteYou are probably going to be one of those hot/cute pregnant women that people love to hate. Congrats :)
ReplyDeleteFYI, not Sam, though my aunt had a dog named Sam, but he died a couple of decades ago, though from what I'm unsure, but it wasn't impact-related, like from a truck or unicycle, and was probably due to old age and the decline and decay of organs and such, or perhaps via disease, like some unstoppable rebel force, but he was a good dog, perhaps not exceptionally bright, but good, and he was a poodle.
ReplyDeleteOH MY GOD.
ReplyDeleteI stop blogging for a while, get all underground and shit, and you go out and REPRODUCE! That's FANTASTIC!
Dude, since you're the kind of person to put in this kind of effort, take these pics morning and night in the same position and just keep them in a folder on your computer, so you can make a little stop motion movie of the entire pregnancy later.
Totally worth it. It would be so cool.
HOLY GOD. Congrats, congrats, congrats!
I personally love the belly shots. I'm about 7 weeks ahead of you (due late June) and I do them, too. I started showing noticably at about 17 weeks, though I saw my belly button rounding out earlier than that. Now that you're in your 2nd trimester, the fun begins! I personally love my pregnant belly, and I'm sure you will too.
ReplyDelete