Why do I do this? I know that when I'm the one with bad reception, it doesn't matter how loudly the person on the other end is speaking. It's the signal.
But I forget this when the person on the other end is all, "Hold on. I can't hear you."
And instead of being all, "Hello? How about now?" I'll keep on with the conversation, but continue to increase the volume. And I also get increasingly annoyed.
Kind of like when you're in a foreign country and they don't understand your English.
I kid. Really.
And have I mentioned that I gesticulate while speaking on the phone, just as if I were having an in-person conversation? This gesticulation gets ratcheted up the less I'm heard as well. You know. To really
So while I was gone Nick had the unfortunate experience of dealing with a two-person poo. All by himself.
And Big J has gotten very squirmy and very dexterous. So while Nick was grabbing for wipes, Jordan reached down into his poo. And then smeared it everywhere.
It was, as I understand it, like the aftermath of a giant poo massacre. Necessitating a bath and change of clothes for all involved.
Apparently the same thing, only less extreme and more contained, happened when Nick changed him first thing this morning.
Nick and I didn't have any chat time before he left for work, so when we spoke at lunchtime he told me about it on the phone.
I was in CVS, looking for baby-friendly sunscreen. And he kept not being able to hear me.
So at one point I asked, "Had you taken the diaper away? Did he scoop the poo out of the diaper?"
Like this is something I actually needed to know.
"What? I can't hear you?"
So I repeated - at louder volume - the question.
"Hello? I can't hear you. Hello?"
I started to repeat myself uh-gain, when he interrupted with another, "Hello?"
And instead of just leaving it, I bellowed.
"THE POO! THE POO! HOW DID HE GET HIS HANDS IN THE POO? THE POO.."
"...You don't need to yell. What about the poo?"
"Never mind. Just. Nothing."