Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Quiz: In order to maintain marital harmony, the best answer might be...

Say your husband runs into someone he hasn't seen in a long time.

And he comes home and says, "Hey, I ran into Miguel today. You know what he said? He said I'd put on weight! Can you believe it?"

The best response to this is:

(And please remember the marital harmony part.)

A. "He must be smoking crack." Accompanied by a look of surprise.
B. "What a weird thing to say to you!" Said with a sneer that conveys that you never liked the guy anyway.
C. "No fucking kidding." Said with hands on hips and a maybe-you-should-cut-out-the-cheeseburgers-and-beer look.

I'll give you a hint, based on personal experience. The answer is NOT C.


  1. Heeheehee.

    Me: Do you want a cranky thin wife or a happy fat wife?

    Hubby: No way am I touching that one.

  2. I rather like: D. "Really? Hm. I didn't think guys were so ... blunt with each other about such things."

  3. haha! I think I would have continued what I was doing and said "that's nice"

  4. Anything other than C. Avoiding eye contact for at least two minutes after that, and no hint of a smirk would also help.

  5. A very good male friend of mine was quietly growing a substantial gut. He asked me what I thought and I gently told him he should maybe cut back on the beer a bit. Didn't make any difference. Then one day he runs into one of his best friends from way back. He told him point blank-you're getting fat! It worked! I'm always towing the line as in hurting feelings/being blunt.

  6. lacochran - Your husband is more astute than I.

    Also, as I recall, you're thin! Does this mean you're cranky?

    Dagny - That would be a very good response. Not commenting, just, hmm.

    Grace - Hahaha! "That's nice."

    Susan H - Yes, anything but C, it turns out.

    kayare - The odd thing is, this guy isn't a good friend. Which does make it kind of bizarre. But it did make him think.

  7. Yeah, I can see how C would not go over well...."He must be looking through a volcanic haze!" is perhaps a response that would lead to marital harmony

  8. So I take it that it's wrong to continuously give my boyfriend the "C" answer? Oh well.

  9. I'm sure I would have done some version of B. Like "Gee, now I bet you remember why you haven't spoken to him for so long!"

    My theory regarding C is this. Everyone I know owns a mirror and a scale. There is no need for anyone to EVER tell anyone else they are gaining weight!

  10. This was clearly an opportunity to give a classic "therapist" answer: So how does that make you feel?

  11. Ha! I would have gone with C :)

  12. But cheeseburgers and beer = HEAVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN.

    (Said the girl who's been depriving herself for a month now...)

  13. HKW - Hahaha! Very topical! I like it!

    Marie - I don't think it's wrong, just kind of unhelpful in terms of achieving what I assume is your objective. (Also speaking from experience on that one.)

    cla517 - I dunno. If it's your husband and he brings it up...?

    refugee - You are absolutely right. I missed an opportunity on that one.

    Hillary - I am so glad to hear that! Honestly.

    LiLu - Well, yah. And you will have them again, my sweet.

  14. Imagine telling someone you hadn't seen in a while and ran into on the street that they had put on weight!

    That's just mean!!!

  15. God men are snarky arent they??
    We girls would just go home and quietly gloat they had put on weight and we hadnt and then at the next opportunity call a close girlfriend and say.."hey guess who I bumped into and man is she a lardarse now" lmao.
    PS I like my men with a bit of a tummy to snuggle up to these days. Beer gut definately not, but bit of a tummy yummy. :)

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  17. My ex told me I could stand to lose a little weight. So I did. About 160 pounds' worth.


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