Wednesday, October 06, 2010

By the skin of our teeth (and what kind of weird expression is that, anyway?)

Yesterday evening Nick's dermatologist called to say that one of the moles he'd removed had abnormal cells.

And could he come back in sometime? Like, at the crack of dawn tomorrow?

This will throw you for a loop. Particularly since his older sister had had melanoma. His younger sister has had numerous moles cut out.

Nick came home a little shaken.

I wondered, which mole? The leg or the stomach? He didn't know. Just that they wanted him back first thing in the morning.

Internally, I was freaking the fuck out. What if it's cancerous, and it's gotten to the bone? What if they have to take off his leg? What if he dies?

So I was all, "Of course it's scary. But it'll be fine. Totally fine."

I kept saying that throughout the evening. Fine. It will be fine. Finefinefine.

He agreed. And said, "And if they have to take a leg, well, that's one way to lose those 50 pounds."

Haha. Ha. ha.

We drank wine. We watched Mad Men. We got in bed and held each other tight.

I said, "Boy, am I going to be pissed if your sisters were both fine and you die."

We laughed. Sort of.

He was scared. I was scared. He's my rock, my safety, my world. I could lose him. I can't lose him. I just got him.

I lay there thinking about how he never wears sunscreen, even now. Asshole. I closed my eyes and pictured my entire life falling apart.

Nick woke up extra early. When J woke up, Nick carried him around until he left. Those baby cuddles are amazing.

He called after his appointment. He used some words I don't know, but not melanoma. Basically, they're cells that could become cancerous. They think they got it all, but took a bigger chunk out, just to make sure.

Relief poured into my stomach, my heart, my lungs. I got all teary. "Thank God. I love you."

"I love you, too. Talk to you later."

"Wait! Leg or stomach?"


"Well, plenty there to work with. Did you suggest he take a few more chunks while he was at it?"

"And there's the Lisa I know and love."


  1. Aside from the humorous side of the post, good news indeed! I'd have been a little worried myself.

  2. Excellent return to normalcy. Really the best thing for both of you, is to just dive right back into the things that work for both of you.


  3. I've ahd a mess out too, same reason. Always scary. Glad to hear they got 'em.

  4. Scary, scary stuff - so glad it's turned out okay.

  5. Always scary. You know I work for a surgeon and I have to call people with terrible news all the time. Gah. I'm SOOOO glad he's okay. So glad.

  6. Yay! Congrats! There is just something bone chilling about 'abnormal cells' matter where they find them, right??

  7. I am so SO happy that Nick's abnormal cells aren't cancerous.

    And how nice that Nick is the one being described as abnormal for once :)

  8. Glad to hear it turned out well. Nothing like a little skin cancer scare to drive you to the sunscreen asile at CVS. I say this as someone whose mom beat skin cancer. Wear a hat. Wear sunscreen. Everytime.

    The weight-loss comment is priceless. Keep on laughing.

  9. I'm sorry you had to go through that. It's sweet and lovely you and Nick are able to find some humor in something scary. But, laughter is just as real as fear. I'm very happy things turned out well at the doctor's office.

  10. oh whew, scary. now that we have one on the way I'm even more freaked about something happening to nathan and get even angrier when he does irresponsible/unnecessary crap like playing with his cell phone in the car... my imagination just goes to dark places...

  11. Oh man, that is scary. I'm glad that it's been taken care of for the time being. Get that man some sunscreen!

    My dad has had many pieces of skin taken off but so far no melanoma. I inherited his lighter skin so it's always a concern to me.

  12. Ah Lisa, I know what you mean. I just got mine too. It takes a real effort for me to not be constantly quivering with worry about M's health. And also traffic accidents... I just have to decide to NOT THINK ABOUT IT. Well, it works sometimes. So glad you got good news.

  13. So happy it's not cancer! I HATE situations like that, waiting, wondering, and truly, doesn't matter if you've been together twenty years, still a huge fear of loss.

  14. So happy for the two of you and your good news.

  15. JPT - Very worrisome. So relieved!

    Jessica - Hugs back. Normalcy returns quickly, doesn't it?

    Maiden Metallurgist - I've had a bunch taken off but never got any worrisome news back. So stressful!

    Keenie Beanie - Thank you.

    Kate - I bet you're very gentle about it, but that would be so hard.

    You know what? They knew when they called that it wasn't melanoma. Nick took his doctor to task for that - don't call last thing at night and say come in tomorrow morning and leave it at that if you know it's not cancer. Say it's not cancer! Seriously.

    kayare - Yes, phew! :)

    Stevie - No kidding. You hear "abnormal cells" and you freak out. No matter where.

    Hillary - Ohh, thank you for that. What a good thing to point out!

    FoggyDew - Such a good message to get out. You are totally right about sunscreen, hat, precautions. So right.

    HKW - You are always so positive. You're right - laughter is just as real as fear - and it's so important.

    frugalveganmom - I know. Once you're family and not just you (because you know you can take care of yourself, even if you don't want to lose the person) it gets a million times more worrisome!

    Stevie - I do - I give him sunscreen all the time! Sometimes I force him. But you can only do so much, you know? I have the light skin like my dad as well, and he had all kinds of things taken off. Vigilance!

    Laura - On the same page with the constant worry. I don't know how not to. And thanks.

    J - You are so right. It doesn't matter how long - fear of loss is huge.

    Dana - Thank you.

  16. glad the immediate news is good and i hope everything turns out just fine. i get the "but i just got him" fear all the time and it has nothing to do with actual real concerns but more just things like he's usually home by now and i haven't heard from him so he must have been attacked/car accident/pick your Law & Order drama.
    hope you don't have to deal with that feeling anymore!


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