Thursday, October 07, 2010

One way to go about it

You know, it's so weird that this skin cancer scare happened this week, because I had just been thinking how Nick probably needs to have a tiny little heart attack in order to radically change his eating habits.

Not a big one. Just more of a shock.

I'm not saying I was wishing for it, or that I think it's a good idea. I'm just saying, it typically takes something big like that to effect major and sudden change.

I didn't tell him I was thinking this. Although now he knows. Sorry, Nick. I hope you know how I mean it.

But what it reminded me of was when I was leaving San Diego to move to DC, which also meant ending my very-serious-talking-about-getting-married relationship with my boyfriend, Axel. Because San Diego was his dream, and he was never leaving.

We're still friends, and he's still there, with an amazing house, gorgeous wife, beautiful kids. It's the right life for him. Just not for me.

I had a very good friend named Kristen - who also still lives there - a research psychologist I'd met at work. We used to run on the bay together. She started trying very hard to convince me not to leave.

And one day, a couple weeks before I left, she said, "I know! I what needs to happen?"


"Axel needs to get into an accident. One that's just life-threatening enough that it triggers your maternal instinct. You'll be protective, and you'll realize that you don't want to lose him, that you can't live without him."


"If you want, I'll hit him with my car. I really think this would do it."

Now. It's not like she'd really have done it. But when someone with a doctorate in psychology tells you something about human nature, it really makes you think. You know?

Axel and I were very close, even though I was moving out and away, and so when I got home I shared this outlandish idea. I was sure Axel would find the suggestion as hilarious as I did.

Instead, he got all twitchy and said, "Keep Kristen far away from me. She's not running me over with her car."

I don't think he ever regarded her the same way again.

You never know with people.


  1. Kristen's logic makes perfect sense to me. I'm not sure what that says about me.

  2. Thank you thank you for saying that. I posted this and then was certain it was a mistake and that everyone who read it would just think I was batshit.

  3. I totally get this.

  4. I get it, because of the drawing :) Being reminded what a pain it is to move would have made me think twice, too. There aren't enough Sharpies and labels in the world to ease the stress of a coast to coast move!

  5. There are two certains in life. For that I am certain.?. Well anyway it's this: What goes around comes around and people want what they can't have. And that last one, if you could conquer that, would solve all your problems. Weight, money, happiness, Ummm.... and good luck with that.

  6. But you are batshit and its a good thing in a totally good way. I get this I really do, this is the sort of thing everyone actually thinks but very few of us vocalise it. Its why I am always getting called out for voicing inappropriate thoughts....just because everyone else is to chickenshit to say them outloud in case everyone around them thinks they are batshit.........lmao and I totally am it would seem.

  7. The drawing is *perfect*. :)

  8. kayare - I am glad!

    HKW - Oh, and I know you'd be one of those people I envy who know which box goes in which room and are totally organized once they arrive at destination, rather than living in chaos for months or perhaps years...

    Lynn - Ugh, yah. So true. I am hopeful on the what goes around, because there are a few people who are due for it to come around. As for the what we can't have...I used to be an extreme case of that one.

    Go-Betty - You make a very good point there, my friend. The people I like best say these things out loud.

    Karen - Ha! Thank you!

  9. Re: "when someone with a doctorate in psychology tells you something about human nature, it really makes you think. You know?" Yeah, I know. My dad and several of his friends had those degrees. I used to babysit for them. What it made me think was, how having one of those degrees was no guarantee of mental health; in fact, why were they all so craaazeeee?

    I too love your drawings. If you write that book, let it have lots of your drawings!


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