Why bloggers fall down

I don't know if bloggers fall down more than normal people, or just talk about it more, but if we do, maybe it's not as much a lack of coordination as a lack of judgment.

I decided this last week, after visiting my OB. I got these blood tests (which were all in the normal range. According to them, I'm normal. Ha!).

And then I had to pee.

And of course, being an OB-GYN office, there are all those pee cups sitting on the shelves behind the toilet. The shockingly unstable shelves. I know because I've bumped into them before.

And as they shook I thought, "Would it be terrible to knock those shelves over?"

I didn't. In case you're worrying. But those cups sloshed ominously.

So you know, now it's fall. And it's chilly and it's warm. And so you wear a cardigan, because you're cold. And then you take it off because you're hot.

And there I was in this bathroom, carrying a purse and a sweater, with nowhere to put either. I hung the bag around my neck and held the cardigan, as I figure there are pee molecules everywhere, because being a former pregnant woman, I know how hard it is to pee in a cup as the weeks go on.

I never peed on their bathroom floor. But it's a messy affair.

So there I was, encumbered by stuff, hovering, trying not to touch the seat.And then I thought, "Hey! I should just put my cardigan on!"

Which, when you're staning up or sitting down, is not a hard task. But when you are doing neither, but rather hovering bare-assed, and you try sticking your hand through a sleeve, and your balance is never the most stellar anyway...
So I careened around a little, trying not to fall on the seat, and not to crash into the shelves behind the toilet, thus covering myself a number of pregnant women's pee.

Seriously. Picture this: "Uh, hello Mrs. Pregnant. This is Dr. X's office. Could you come back in and give us another sample? Yes, I know it's inconvenient. Some idiot knocked over our urine specimine shelves."

And they'd have to do this to like 10 people. And they'd always remember me as the woman who left the office covered in 10 pregant women's urine. I'd have to find a new doctor. Plus, I wouldn't have been able to return to my own office.

PLUS I'd have been covered in other people's urine. Gah!

Anyway. It was sort of best case scnario, as I reeled a bit, one arm flailing, the other clutching my pants (like it matters if your pants fall down in private) and finally wound up kicking the trash can and slamming against the wall.
Nobody remarked on any kind of commotion on the way out.