When I was in my 20s, and I quite jobs regularly, I wound up temping a lot.
Temping meant two things: One, I was paid hourly. And two, I was usually so bored.
And so I'd do things like calculate the hours I needed to work in order to buy that skirt I liked at Ann Taylor. Four more hours = one skirt. For example.
I haven't done that in years. For years, my budget has not been quite that tight. I've never been profligate, and so for a long time I've been able to pay my mortgage AND buy food AND things I want.
Our budget has been tight this last year, but really because we took on this big house project. So we've borrowed a shitload. We've spent a lot. But it's all practical, good debt. And we've both spent our lives spending so responsibly.
Now, what I've realized is that I have this huge amount of guilt buying frivolous stuff, and having things that others don't. I seriously have to justify up and down.
Honestly. It's weird, I think. Nick is so proud of our house. He's worked so hard, and he deserves a nice house. And me, I'm proud of it too. But I feel guilty. Because there are so many people without shelter, much less a nice house. Hell, without food or potable water, for that matter.
And yet I hated my time in the Peace Corps. Go figure.
So. I got those shoes above for the wedding. Black, pretty, and very practical. I needed nice black shoes. I could wear them to work.
But seriously. This was after a number of you said black shoes. Or said, oh, for Pete's sake, buy yourself some new shoes. You don't do this all the time.
And I don't. I really don't.
But then, it was like after a long diet when you've been thinking about chocolate for weeks and then you eat so much in one sittiong you're nauseous.
I just couldn't stand not to buy these. Justification: they're 30% off at Nine West, with free shipping. I need something trendy. I love leopard prints. And I AM going to wear them to work.
I cannot wait for them to arrive.