Thursday, February 07, 2008

As long as you have the cookies under control, the terrorists cannot win.

So I bathed last night and scalded my sheets clean in the washer. Getting into bed clean with sparkly clean sheets is one of the best feelings.

And then I dreamt I was at my parents' house, baking cookies in their kitchen the dark. And I turned off the mixer, but it still kept mixing. I unplugged it, and it still kept whirring. It was dark, and there was this persistent whirrr, whirrrrrr, whirrrrrrr coming closer and closer.

I tried to scream for my mom - because this had me in a blind panic - but no sound would come out.

Seriously, I woke up with that choking hysteria, the kind you get when you dream you're being attacked and cannot make a sound. But realizing it was because of a possessed mixer? WTF? One more WTF dream, although I am glad this one isn't sexual.

Now? Working working. Happy to be out of the house - because boy, do I go kind of batshit when stuck at home for too long. I know this is hard for you to picture.

But? Having all kinds of stress on the verge of being imposed on me. Except that I am not willing to accept it. I'm building a little emotional fortress of keep your self-created stress to yourself.

Because, as one of my closest friends said, "What's with all the stress? It's a non-profit. It's not the fucking hunt for Osama bin Laden."

And that is my current mantra. "It's not the fucking hunt for Osama bin Laden."

One of these moments, I'm going to say that out loud.

The crazy mixers, though? Are a different story entirely.

Honestly.

4 comments:

  1. So, maybe the appliance not going off is a metaphor for your feeling that you are losing control over some aspect of your life (the impending marriage, perhaps)? Then the looking to your mother for help but then not being able to find her would be a metaphor, too, as you may be feeling that you are in this marriage thing alone. It's all very scary, except that had the dream continued you would have seen that the blender would have stopped and the cookies would have turned out fine. And as you are not in the marriage thing alone, nuts and chocolate chips in the next batch, please.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ah, REM behavior disorders... that's not exactly what you had, but a nightmare is pretty close. I have a theory on that one, but we'll have to chat on the phone to discuss. ;) No worries, though, according to my psych training, it's very normal. Sleep well tonight, beautiful! No whirring!

    ReplyDelete
  3. "IT'S NOT THE FUCKING HUNT FOR OSAMA BIN LADEN."

    You have absolutely no idea how much I needed this today.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "IT'S NOT THE FUCKING HUNT FOR OSAMA BIN LADEN."

    I'm whipping this one out at my next Board meeting when they ask why our dues collections are short again.

    It's gotta be easier than explaining it for the 278th time.

    ReplyDelete

Tell me about it.