Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Nary a modicum of moderation

I know I lack moderation, and when I am being mindful, I do try to be more moderate. But the problem is that in the moment I’m always like, “Yay! Fun! What a great idea! Yippee!”

Judgement goes out the window.

I recently had such a good reminder of this out with an old friend of mine. He’d been out of the country, so this was our first real catch-up in over a year. We met at Proof, which I love love love.

He was already there when I arrived, so I just ordered a glass of the white he’d chosen. We finished our glasses of wine over intense conversation. And then our server came by and asked if we’d like another. I didn’t love the one he’d chosen, so she recommended an Austrian white that was delicious. Really easy to drink. Yum.

And so, catching up on a zillion things, we finished those, and she asked if we’d like another. We looked at each other and he suggested we get an appetizer and one last glass of wine. Which we did. We got a ginormous platter of absolutely delicious cured meats.

But the fact is this. Cured meat does very little to mitigate three glasses of wine. And why is it that, in the midst of having fun, when someone suggests another, I always think it’s such a fabulous idea?

Even though I joke about it, I’m not sitting home drinking bottles of wine alone. But out, when someone else is like, “Let’s have more!” I’m never, ever the voice of reason.

And why do I even begin to think I can swill as much as men who are practically twice my size?

The answer is, I don’t. Think, I mean. In the moment, I’m not thinking at all. If I were thinking, I’d be like, “Lisa, you are a little person. And two glasses of wine are more than enough. You should sip water and not get ridiculous.”

Right. Which is never what happens. What happens is I say, “Sure! Fun! Bring on the ridiculous!”

These other people, often being people much larger than me, they wind up fine the next day, while I wind up thinking I’m going to die.

Nick picked me up from the metro. I poured myself into the passenger seat all, “Whee!”

He just sighed, less than delighted. And understandably so. Because, poor man, he got up at 5 am to travel for work, turned around and came back to DC, and kept working till he picked me up. And there he was, at 9:30 at night, forcing me to drink water and eat a sandwich.

And sometimes I am not super cooperative. I don’t get belligerent, but that doesn’t mean I won’t keep walking away from the glass.

“C’mon. Drink your water!”

“I am!”

“No, you’re not. You’re standing across the room checking email.”

Eye roll. “Fine.” Sip sip. Get distracted. Walk away again.

Lis! You’ll feel so much better if you eat some sandwich. Eat!”

I eat but I act like I’m doing him a favor. Like, he’s so lucky I’m eating this turkey and cheese sandwich he so nicely made me.

And again, if I were thinking, I’d realize that a sandwich and a huge glass of water are probably the best idea that’s been presented to me all evening. And I'm doing nobody a favor.



  1. Dude, so feeling this post! I am never, ever going to say STOP BRINGING ME DRINKS or SHOULD WE GO HOME? because that's just not me. I'm never going to be reasonable and I hope that some day, someone will love me in spite of that - just like you and Nick.

  2. This reminds me of a little mantra I had to develop when hanging out with men twice my size (they exist outside of the NBA! How novel!).

    "More cells." They have more cells! And it's not fair.

    But remember, Rhyme is just as important as Reason - and the two tend to balance each other when necessary.


  3. I should probably start out by saying that I DO in fact drink bottles of wine at home.

    So you can probably imagine how good I am at moderation (more is better?) and at saying no to more drinks when other people have already sanctioned them.

    In my defense, I'm spectacular at coming home and eating lots of pasta.

  4. The Ex - I am always so impressed with people who DO say, thanks, I've had enough. It will happen for you - we all have our "despite X or Y" things.

    Dag - Ohhh, I LOVED that book! Loved it. OK, my new mantra will be "more cells!"

    Nicole - Yes, and I love your More is Better! That makes you a very, very SMART drinker! I feel like food helps immensely!

  5. Hmmm... I never seem to have this issue. I wonder why.


    I think it's *probably* because I'm allergic to fermented grapes.

  6. I'm pretty good at stopping the flow of wine to my mouth AFTER I've walked to the ladies room and realized ability to walk has been replaced with stumbling / loss of balance. By the time I have to pee, it's too late.

  7. Imagine if people all of the sudden started doing the things they should be doing, when and in the way they should be done.

    There would be no blogs. Or celebrities, for that matter.

    Long live the id!

  8. VVK - You and Nick, being similarly sized, probably react about the same to alcohol, which is to say, not much. As for the fermented grapes, beer is a fantastic beverage.

    HKW - Hahaha. By the time I have to pee, it's too late. I'm going to use that line sometime, if you don't mind.

    WiB - Excellent point! No blogs and no celebs! A dull world indeed. :)

  9. Hmmm, sounds to me like you were one more pout away from getting your bottom spanked for being a naughty girl - and that would have opened up all SORTS of new possibilities! ;)


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