Monday, February 11, 2008

I don't even think that this falls under hubris

A couple years ago a friend of mine asked me the following.

Would you be willing to give George W a blow job every day for a year if it meant getting him out of office immediately?

That was the deal. W leaves office tomorrow. And you give him a blow job every day for one year.

I paused. I felt like I ought to be willing to. It would be the right thing to do. But after some thought I said no. I just couldn't do it.

And honestly, I've regretted it ever since.

Every time you read about something atrocious, horrible, or just plain stupid that he's done, which, let's face it, is at least once a day, I've thought, "God, I totally should have said yes."

I've felt guilty. Why don't I think beyond myself? I should think on a more global scale. How big a deal would it be in the scheme of things?

And so on and so forth.

This has been the case for ages.

And, then, just this past weekend, I realized that I've been carrying this regret around for no reason whatsoever. Because it's not like my answer actually mattered. It would have changed, um, absolutely nothing.

Like, if I'd said, "Sure. I'll do it for my country! For the world!" history would have been altered?

Honestly. Who am I?


  1. But if push had left office, Chaney would have become president! and that... that would be scarier.

  2. So, you're saying you'd do that to get a perfectly good, $410 billion dollar deficit creator, oil lovin', int'l perception detroyer, polarizing 'leader' out of office?? Picky Picky!

    That's very morally wrong of you.

  3. That is hilarious. I'd also have said no, and now I feel guilty for my selfish answer to a hypothetical question that was never even posed to me.

  4. I would have said no, only because I wouldn't have been able to stand the sound of his voice encouraging me while I did it. Can you imagine W's sex talk?


  5. I totally agree with SD. And also? then you'd be the chick who blew George Bush for a year. Which kind of makes it impossible to ever not be *that* chick again.

  6. VVK - You are right. There is the leftover issue of what to do with Cheney.

    Canaan - I know. I did give that some thought.

    TMM - So you see where I am coming from!

    Oh, SD, you had to go there!!! Ick ick ick.

    Nicole - Holy crap, I hadn't even thought of that! That would be a terrible way to go through life.

  7. Another gross out post? The very idea! And VVK is right. Ick and eek!

  8. huh. this opens up a whole new world of possibility. Perhaps Monica Lewinsky was just helping Bill Clinton avoid some horrifying geopolitical disaster and we all should be grateful to her, because who knows what might have happened had she not made that deal. But W. ugh - as much as one would want the outcome, that is not something anyone could be expected to swallow, as it were...

  9. I would DEVELOP a gag reflex within a week, and it would ruin me forever. Ewww.

  10. LG:

    It would depend on the time frame and whether I had foreknowledge of all that would follow.

    If I had complete knowledge of what was to come I would have committed to the year of blowing him beginning August 10, 2000. And I wouldn't have hesitated. And I'm a straight guy.

    Tougher call to commit to blowing him for a year starting today. I'd pass. No...that's not quite right...I'd do it if he threw in 51% of the equity in Halliburton.

  11. You're not Monica. She tried it 10 years ago and failed.

  12. DCup - I know. Ick and eek indeed.

    Anon - I am not buying it. I liked Clinton and the whole scandal impeachment bullshit made me really angry. And as for W, yes, ugh, too much for anyone to, um, swallow.

    Kerrie - Yes, it would. For sure.

    Kelso's Nuts - This made me laugh out loud. I think most of us would say yes if we could undo his presidency entirely.

    Spartacus - Ah, but she wasn't trying to save the world. This is entirely different.

  13. Nah, I agree with you on the whole scandal impeachment thing - I take more of the French attitude towards the sexual peccadilloes of our political leaders. Just the idea of blowing the president naturally brought it to mind, and I thought, well, maybe there was more behind the act than anyone realized?


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