It turns out you're not supposed to congratulate women on getting married. Did you know this?
I have received, and happily - oh so happily - a number of congratulations.
Practically everyone I've told has congratulated me. Personally, I've always congratulated anyone who has ever gotten engaged, woman or man.
On Friday evening I was at Nick's office, and saw, for the first time since we got engaged, one of his colleagues. I like him. He's very kind. He's also very socially correct, very proper.
We really don't know each other. He has no idea what a Philistine I am.
And so, when he saw us, he kissed me on the cheek and said, "Best wishes! I congratulated Nick but I haven't seen you!"
I said I'd just heard that it was proper to congratulate men, while you're supposed to give women best wishes. And I was just wondering why.
So he said, "Well, you're essentially congratulating the man on having gotten the woman to marry him."
"But you wish a woman well because you don't want to suggest that she's been working to get married. You don't want the implication to be, 'Congratulations! You finally got a husband!'"
Now, anyone who knows me knows that it hasn't been my life goal to get married. And truthfully, I'd almost given up on it, I'd gotten so jaded. But I do feel like I've worked for this. I want all the congratulations anyone is offering.
And I said, "Oh, but that's how I feel! Yay! I am so lucky! I got a good one!"
I put my arms up in the air, like a gymnast at the end of a routine. I mean, like a gymnast wearing high heeled boots and a bright pink winter coat and pink flowery hat and carrying a big orange bag. So maybe like a brightly clad, winterized, graceless gymnast. But still.
As I did this I said, "I do! I feel like I finally stuck the landing!"
He giggled. Because what else can you do when faced with this kind of behavior?