Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Cheddar cheese and anal glands. Not together.

I've been on a sharp cheddar cheese kick recently.

I'm one of those people who will pick something and have it over and over and over. Lately, I'm really craving Trader Joe's chocolate peanut butter pretzel thingies. And since now I get to TJ's almost never, I just have them on my mind. Daily.

But I do this with food all the time. I'll get on a Brussels sprouts kick, and have them every night for dinner for weeks. And then, it's on to the next thing.

I don't get bored. Until I do.

Also, every time I really like something at TJ's, they stop carrying it. I take it personally.

+++++

Maude was visiting this past weekend, and she wanted a cheese sandwich, and I asked what kind. I said we had a good cheddar, but we had a number of options.

And she replied, "Provolone. I've had a lot of cheddar in the last 10 years."

+++++

When Maude and I lived together, her mom gave us a pumpkin to carve. Which we never got around to doing.

So I cut it up and ate a piece. And bit by bit, over the week, I ate the whole damn pumpkin. Maude told people about it for years.

Also, I dislike pumpkin pie.

+++++

I don't know if you've ever had a dog who needed to have his or her anal glands squozen.

Gloria was one of those. When her anal glands got full, she'd scoot around on her butt. And then you'd take her off to the vet and they'd express them. That's what they called it. "Expressing the anal glands."

One time my dad decided to try it at home. How hard could it be? He was successful.

He never did it again.

Anyway, the vet told us to feed her a little bt of pumpkin every day to add fiber to her diet and help with the anal gland situation. It did.

+++++

I didn't have a plan when I sat down to write, and I'm actually kind of shocked that I started with cheese and ended up with anal glands.

I bet you're not, though, huh?

17 comments:

  1. I'll take "Things That Did Not Surprise Me At All" for $4,000, Alex!

    I'm on a smoked Gouda binge. It's helping to balance out all the weather-related sugar.

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  2. Hahahaha - I like that category!

    I also like smoked Gouda. Although in moderation - I get tired of the smoked flavor rather quickly. Same with Havarti with dill. But yum!

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  3. Stella was having a butt-scoochy day once so I took her to the vet and he expressed her anal glands. He didn't tell me what he was about to do, though, just asked me to hold onto her really well and then got all up in her business. I got anal gland juice on my hand is what I'm saying.

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  4. Hey this was very informative Lisa. I have a miniature schnauzer thingamabob that has the same affliction Gloria had. Nope, would never try this at home.

    Speaking of Gloria, my porn name would be Sneaky Pete Knox. Well, the street and name are turned around.... but for obvious reasons. But cool huh? And if you have seen me write this before it's because I have tried to tell you this about 3 different times and the comment police seem to reject it every time. Lets try this again.

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  5. Glands - gross. My little guy has the same problem. Thank god for vets and groomers, right? Did you give Gloria canned or fresh pumpkin?

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  6. Hillary - Ick ick ick! He totally should've warned you. I was never the one who took her to the vet for an expression session, but my dad was kind of horrified by the at home results.

    Lynn - I don't understand Blogger. Sometimes I try to respond and it gets rejected over and over. It's irritating. I love Sneaky Pete Knox. And I switched mine - I think yours are in the right order, assuming your street wasn't Sneaky Pete street. Although I would love to live on Sneaky Pete street, now that I write that.

    Susan H - Yes, definitely. And we gave her canned pumpkin. Just scooped out a big spoon or two and stuck it in with her food. She was fine with it. Sometimes I'd have some as well, just for good measure. I mean, of the pumpkin. Out of the can. Not out of her bowl.

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  7. I have the biggest crush on those Trader Joe's chocolate & peanut butter pretzels. If they stop making them, nothing will ever be the same.

    TOO DRAMATIC?

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  8. I think it was a very fall toned post today. Who knew that pumpkin would cure anal gland problems? I learn so much from you. :)

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  9. I do hope Gus' anal glands never need expressing.

    Have you tried Trader Joe's English Toffee? It's basically crack covered in chocolate and a bit of crumbled pistachio.

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  10. Please tell me your dad wore gloves while expressing.

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  11. Really? You ate a whole pumpking in a week? You micro waved the slices, and had them with brown sugar and cinnamon, or butter and salt, right? I mean you weren't nibbling on raw pumpkin - WERE you?

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  12. i am the same way about food. did it with hummus, did it with grilled cheese and tomato, did it with avocado.

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  13. my vet offered to show me how to drain my pups anal glands, i said "no thanks, i'll just keep bringing him in"... luckily they do it at th groomer every time he goes too. oh, and yogurt works well just like the pumpkin in the food.

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  14. So, when I was 9...I refused to eat anything but Spaghettios for about two weeks. Breakfast, lunch, dinner....and then, one morning, I'd had enough.

    I think my mom gave the extra case she'd bought to our bachelor neighbor...

    Can't even look at them without slightly gagging now. :-)

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  15. Not only did you gradually eat that whole pumpkin by yourself, you ate it with mustard! That second part got me as much as the first. Microwaved pumpkin with mustard for dinner and then a raisin bagel for breakfast(I never witnessed lunch since we were at work)for as long as it takes to gradually eat a Halloween pumpkin. Yes, you certainly do have consistent temporary food wants.

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  16. Too Much Pumpkin is bad for migraines apparently or so I read. I lurve pumpkin roasted.
    Never had pumpkin pie but one day am going to make one they sound yum.
    Also we dont have canned pumpkin over here only real stuff.
    Glad you didnt eat it out of the bowl and I must give some to my two dogs they eat anything.
    Oh Oh nd I did carve a pumpkin for the first time EVER on weds night and put the pics on my FB page and everyone here is loving it. I am going to sit it on the gate post tomorrow night to greet the party guests.

    Oh and pumpkin with mustard??? wth???

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