Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Why does he say-ay-ay "Hush, hush! Keep it down now..."

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? I don't know if I'm right, but this is what I think the difference comes down to.

OK. To start.

I found this note taped to the inside of India's closet door.
I was kind of wondering if he taped it on the inside hoping it wouldn't be found but that maybe it would function like a charm or somehow the message would wash over her at night all Brave New World.

Once I found it, I did gently remind Jordan that we don't say "shut up" because it's unkind. But in my head, I was all solidarity, buddy.

Me, I am an introvert. If I don't have a certain amount of alone time, I start to get really tired and angry and resentful. And by alone I mean alone alone.

I've realized that the only time I'm really bored is when I am stuck somewhere with people I don't want to interact with. Otherwise, I can keep myself entertained just fine.

The other day my friend Rachel, who is an extrovert, said she's always happy to be with people. I mean, sure, she likes to be alone. But, you know, with another person.

And I said, "Oh, noooo. I need to be all by myself. Nick thinks I can be alone with him. NO. That is not alone."

I used to wish so hard that I were an extrovert. It would be so much easier to be so people-y.

But I am not.

Sometimes Nick will come home from work after the kids are in bed and I will subtly try to get away but he will follow me from room to room talking to me. And finally I have to be like, "Please, please just give me 10 minutes. I need 10 minutes of nobody talking to me, looking at me, breathing near me."

Anyway, Jordan is an introvert. He's always been able to play by himself. Not necessarily for long stretches, but I see him in his head, and I know it's an interesting place to him.

My daughter, on the other hand, wants to interact. She wants you to talk to her, to touch her, to listen to her. She wants to do a puzzle but she wants you to watch her doing it.

When they sleep, Jordan gets in bed and goes to sleep. Or if he crawls into our bed, he goes to the bottom of the bed. India wants to be right up next to you. She wants her face in your face. She wants to lie there and steal your breath just like a cat. She wants to touch you.

I don't know if extroverts tend to be cuddlers and introverts tend to be not-cuddlers, but I am an introverted not-cuddler. I mean, I cuddle my kids and I cuddle with Nick but when I want to sleep I want to sleep. This is my space and that is your space and now we do the sleeping.


India talks. Oh, she talks. Now, it's often charming. I find her interesting and she has a good vocabulary and it's just plain interesting to see this child of mine express her thoughts. She makes me laugh.

And she makes new friends and chats with new people so easily. This is lovely to see.


Sometimes Jordan will ask her to stop talking. Which just prods her to talk more. She will talk and talk and talk. Or make up songs that go on and on.

Sometimes I think, "How can one little human talk so much? Doesn't she get tired of talking?"

Sometimes she talks so much she makes her brother cry. She knows how to push his buttons.

Every once in a while I will say, "Can we all just stop talking and have quiet for two minutes? Let's all be quiet for two minutes."

India will wail, "I caaaaaaaan't! I caaaaaaaaaaaan't stop talking!"

And it does seem to be true.


  1. This was my life. Is my life. Amazing how you always seem to describe me even though I basically come from another planet. I wispered that.

    1. Oh, Lynn! So many of us are from another planet! Hugs.

  2. I'm right down the middle, an introvert and extrovert hybrid. Which isn't better than being one or the other and is confusing at times. I like to be on teams but my best work is done in my own head. I want to be included and love to be around people but avoid being the center of attention and can be perfectly content alone as you describe. Perhaps the best example is my photographer role, I can participate but as an observer.
    It's wonderful to read about how your kiddos enrich your life. And I hope the alone time you seek comes to you more days than not. Hugs!

    1. Interesting, very interesting. I'm in the middle as well, but on the introvert side. I don't prefer to be on teams. And I like big parties if I know at least one person, and I like being the center of attention. :) But I need a lot of alone time as well.

    2. I love that you're introverted and love to be the center of attention - you're just lovely. I think family environment and siblings play a role. For me, being the youngest of 5 probably brought me to the middle of the introvert/extrovert scale. Perhaps India talks and sings more than she would otherwise because her perception is she has a sweet brother and Mom so accessible to her and engaging. Jordan might love thinking on his own especially because he views this time as limited, or at least not limitless.

    3. I don't know. I kind of think that to a large extent you're born being who you are. Jordan would get overstimulated by too many people from when he was a little baby. One of my friends told me that babies look away when they've had too much because they can't physically walk away and remove themselves.


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