Tuesday, April 09, 2019

Big, big booty what you got a big booty

About two weeks ago I did a not-crazy aerobic workout.

There was some jumping, yes, like burpees and jumping jacks, but really, nothing over the top. 

Afterward, my foot hurt right where my second to last toe connects. These toes get easily bugged on each of my feet, and I'm pretty sure it's because I've broken both of them on Nick's asshole stealth leg of toe-break death couch.

(Not to be confused with his grandfather clock, the heirloom of my discontent.)

Anyway, now when those toes are finicky I wear toe socks and those help a lot and I figured whatever, they're picky, whatchagonnado.

But my left toe/but really it was foot near toe hurt.

And then it hurt some more. And the next day it hurt more. And then I couldn't put any weight on it.

Luckily, I'd kept my boot from a stress fracture several years ago, so I donned it, which enabled me to walk.

And then I made an appointment with my friendly podiatrist, who took X-rays, which showed it wasn't broken.

He showed me diagrams of the foot on his iPad, and where the muscles and tendons and ligaments are and gave me such a thorough explanation such that when I left I wasn't sure if I had pulled a muscle or irritated my tendons or my ligaments.

My main thought was, it's not the bone. Three weeks in a boot. Is better than six. Hooray!

When you wear a boot, everyone has a question. Everyone. It's like being pregnant. You walk into a store and the clerk says, "What happened?"

Except not exactly like being pregnant because in the pregnancy case nobody asked me what happened.

But you know what I mean.

So I have been telling people it is tendonitis (which spellcheck wants me to spell tendinitis and I don't understand why), because a) everyone knows what that is and b) most people seem to have had it at some point.

But when people I know asked what happened, I've been saying, "Age."

This is my takeaway. I have to wear shoes with more support and not so much flexibility. Dansko clogs and such.

Also, this picture is from last week when it was still dread cold here. Now it's warm and lovely and I hope it lasts because this winter has been killing me dead.

I know aging is better than the alternative, but I would like to give it the boot.