Monday, September 30, 2019

For once not 3:00 am anxiety, coffee, and workouts

This morning I awoke with a start from a bad dream. A trauma dream.

Usually if I'm going to wake up and fret, it's 3:00 am. This is a *thing* and I'm not the only one. There's something evil about the 3:00 in the morning hour.

But lo, it was 5:00 am, and Nick was already gone. I stretched and considered going back to sleep.

And then my brain started to whirl. It pulled up a decades old memory and immediately launched me into anxiety.

I don't know about your snuggled in bed anxiety, but one of my favorites is to review things I said wrong, choices I should've made differently, and really any and all minor and major missteps and faux pas I've committed.

So this morning, being that it was the fine hour of FIVE and not three, I said fuck it and got up.

I did.

I put on my workout clothes, although it is true that I am not a morning person and as such, I am less coordinated first thing in the antemeridian time frame.

This has been true forever. Back when I had a fabulous yellow Sport Walkman, when I ran in the morning I used to regularly trip and my tape and batteries would go flying in all directions. I still have scars.

In any case, I put on my workout clothes, and by 7:00 am I'd worked out, gotten dressed, and made coffee.

My coffee now is almost entirely decaf, and I think I'm better for it. I got a fancy coffee maker, and then it was like If You Give a Mouse a Cookie kind of thing. I got the coffee maker, and then I had to get a grinder. And then if I was going to get a grinder I should get a weigher. Which I guess is also called a scale.

So now we weigh our beans and grind then and then brew them.

When I first got this fancy setup I drank so much delicious coffee that I think I was kind of insane for months.

Now, because I carefully pour the beans into a glass every morning, I do mostly decaf and a little regular and so I don't even know what percentages but I'm mostly decaf and that is good.

The workout quashed my anxiety for the day and also, uh, I worked out.


What do you do when you have anxiety?


  1. That is a great approach to nightmares!! I like to just overthink until I spiral, and then ask someone to talk me down from the ledge.

  2. I sing. Singing makes me forget much of it. Also I watch food preparation videos. Also called cookery shows, duh.
    Love catching up with you like this.

  3. I bake. And strangely I don't eat much of what I bake.


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