Turn right at the Pope

That's what they said when I checked in for surgery. 

Go down the hall and turn right at the Pope. 

(Also, the dog has nothing to do with anything. I just think she looks really cute when she floofs her ears out.)

Anyway, if I turn into a deranged little old lady, you'll see me walking down the street muttering things like, "Anal sphincter." and "Turn right at the Pope." 

Actually, what am I waiting for?

Anyway, so this anastrozole journey has been a little piece of hell.

Nick and I were out on Sunday morning, and I suddenly had such tremendous nausea that we had to go home. It built and built until all I could do was lie in bed until it was time to go to sleep. With my bedside fan blasting on me, because good gracious, I could've roasted a chicken with my body heat.

Ew.

The same thing happened Monday. The morning was OK, and then by noon I started feeling bad, and by afternoon I was back in bed, absolutely walloped.

I'd somehow forgotten how terrible the early months of pregnancy were, and how I walked around like this all the time.

Isn't that weird? You're pregnant, and you feel like absolute crap, but you're also not yet telling anyone in case it doesn't work out.

So you're just trying to act natural when you want to throw up and/or sleep all the time and none of your clothes fit and your hormones are bananas. 

Anyway, the other day I was like, I'm not even getting a baby out of this.

But back to the issue at hand.

Since the oncologist had told me there were several options for these medications, I messaged the nurse to tell her what was going on, and asked if I could switch.

She called immediately for details, which I provided. I also told her that friends who've had breast cancer suggested an anti-nausea medication, as well as a medication that helps with hot flashes and joint pain. I said I could go whichever way they thought.

She said she'd talk to the NP and the doctor and get back to me.

I figured they'd be like, sure, no problem, we'll switch you or add other meds and call your pharmacy.

She replied saying the NP said that since I hadn't yet been taking the pills a week, it would be highly unusual to have these side effects already. She asked if I had a temperature. I should test for Covid and flu.

Which got my hackles all up. I AM highly unusual.

I took my temperature, which, as expected, was fine. I took a Covid test. Also negative. 

I reported both of these facts. I told them I did not have the flu. And that when I start a new medication, I get all of the wretched side effects, and I get them sooner than I'm told should be possible.

I also told her that I have a high pain tolerance, but no tolerance for nausea. 

(I mean, I wasn't asking for opioids or gold nuggets. I wanted the nausea to stop.)

So. In my reply, I proposed taking a couple days off and seeing how I felt.

What I didn't say was there was absolutely no way I was going to continue taking a pill that was making me so nauseated I couldn't eat or function.

She replied said that was reasonable, and suggested we check in on Monday.

I've still got nausea, but it's diminishing. Same with the hot flashes and joint pain.

Today my friend Kris told me that in France when you're pregnant they give you a suppository for nausea that works amazingly.

She was like, "You have to stick it in your butt, but it works great."

And I was all, "Honestly, I'd put just about anything in my butt if it meant getting rid of this nausea." And then I was like, "Well, no. You know I wouldn't."

But then I started thinking about what I'd be willing to do. Kind of like a terrible one-person game of Would You Rather?

And now I'm like, I should see if Nicole is still in Paris and if you can get anti-nausea suppositories over the counter.

Or maybe that would be under the counter?