Monday, February 25, 2013

Skip to my Lou, my darlin'

Would it bug you to have insects in your sugar shaker?

(Also. This has nothing to do with collecting dead bugs for the office - which, let's be clear, I never actually did.)

So, the sugar. Plastic ones, I mean. Not real live or even dead ones. Because that would just be obviously gross, and who wouldn't be bothered by that?

Now that I say that, I realize that there are cultures that do eat beetles and crickets and such. Plus there are the maggot and mite cheeses.

And actually, if you have ever eaten insects, I'd love to hear about it. But for all of you who have not, who might not be all, ooh, ants! Tasty! Would it bother you?

Because, here's the thing. We've always had plastic insects around the house. Betty is fond of them. If you came to stay at their house, you might find a rubber cockroach on your pillow, or a plastic cricket in your napkin.

So when she realized that her plastic ants were just the right size to live in the sugar shaker and not fall through the hole in the top, they went directly in. And when I saw a package of plastic flies, I knew just who to buy them for.

And then she moved in with her sugar shakers, and now her bugs are our bugs.

Nick, however, is not so much on the bugs.

This past weekend he cleaned the shaker, washed the bugs, and set them aside. "The joke has been played," he said. "Can we now get rid of the bugs?"

Now, every once in a while someone notices them and jumps. When Kelli was in town for our high school reunion, she walked over to me holding the sugar.

"I know I'm drunk, but am I hallucinating? Are there tiny little spiders in here?"

By now, they are kind of like decoration. When someone is surprised by them, it's a bonus, but that's not what it's about. I like them. Nick, he does not.

But I mean, really. What's the bug deal?

11 comments:

  1. I think I'd enjoy it. For what it's worth, I am reasonably certain that V would not. I've been trying to find him whimsy supplements, but they're not approved for sale in the US.

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    1. Oh, I LOVE the idea of whimsy supplements!

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  2. I'm OK with the ants in the sugar, but a cockroach on my pillow? NO. I'm totally phobic about the real things (I live in Florida, the land of the 2 inch palmetto bug), and I'd have a heart attack if someone left that on my pillow. And I'd be PISSED!

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    1. I understand. You know, she didn't do this overseas, where we did have giant cockroaches (which terrify, horrify, and generally induce hysteria in me). I'm going to ask her if anyone ever got really mad about it.

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  3. I love the idea in fact I might try it myself. I have a cutlery drawer that has no dividers in it. My cutlery all just gets chucked in a drawer all together to mix and mingle as they please. I tell people I dont believe in segregation of cutlery, that they all reside together in spacial harmony without any issues, it's a freedom for cultery drawer. Some have offered to buy me an insert for my cutlery drawer....they just dont get it I guess..

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    1. The cutlery drawer all mixed up would drive me crazy, I think, but I wouldn't criticize you for it. People need to do what works for them in their own houses.

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  4. The side of me that appreciates your humor says yes, that's funny, no bug deal. The realist in me says no, how would I tell the difference between a real bug and fake?!

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    1. Ick ick ick! I hadn't thought of that...

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  5. I'm not sure how to respond to this post, I'm all itchy all of a sudden... I'll get back to you!

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    1. Sorry for the itch. We have a bug man out here regularly, so rarely see real bugs in the house, if that's any help.

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  6. No, I couldn't tell the difference and I have a bit of a phobia about spiders (found a huge, hairy, fang-knashing one in my undies once. After I had pulled them up. And I have regarded all members of the species with a universal loathing ever since). So, I don't want to chance running into real (albeit dead) one.

    But I have eaten insects, for what it is worth. Witchetty grubs. I was spending the day with some Aboriginal kid friends who took me out hunting and they all ate them so I was shamed into it. They ate theirs live but I insisted on cooking mine in the fire coals. It tasted like slimy ash. They are supposed to be a very rich nutrient source for those traditional, extremely isolated, communities who still live the old way and the kids saw them as a treat.

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