As I was walking to work today, I noticed an inordinate number of cars honking impatiently.
There was this man in a Porsche HONKING and HOOONKING because the person two cars ahead was not turning left fast enough. People were laying on their horns at the car ahead, trying to make it through yellow lights.
There was just generally a lot of assholey horn honking. Early in the morning.
Now, I might've had a little less tolerance because I was just coming from having had my blood drawn by a perpetually surly nurse who tends to leave bruises.
I have considered asking her if she hates her job and does it on purpose. But then I thought, crap, she might just take it out on me more in the future.
Also, I cannot find my earphones, and so I have no music as I gad about town. Just the cacophony of sirens and horns.
I was on the sidewalk passing Mr. Porsche as he was applying hand to horn.
And I wished, I very desperately wished, that I had a large, heavy mallet in my bag. And that it weren't illegal to just beat the shit out of someone's hood.
Because boy, I bet that would feel good.
Actually, I don't think you'd have to hit it more than once or twice to get your message across.
Bang! "Be polite!" Slam! "Asshole!" And then maybe another whack for good measure.
Which reminds me.
I've been really wishing that you could put a little exploding device into your laptop, iPod, iPad, iPhone, or any other electronics that people like to steal.
So, say someone stole your phone. You could remotely detonate it so it would self-destruct, inducing, oh, maybe second-degree burns. Because Nick said third-degree would be too severe.
He also said that much like poisoning the pumpkins, this is the kind of thing that is just not OK. Lisa.
I still totally think it should be an app.