Monday, March 14, 2011

Why, yes, I am tired and crabby and this time change totally cracks me out. Why?

You might think, from reading LG, that I am completely oblivious to what's going on in the world.

Like, really, if I knew about the tragedy still unfolding in Japan, or the multiple Middle East crises, that I'd write about those rather than the biggest dog poo ever.

But you focus on what you're good at, you know?

So on Sunday morning a friend of mine was out walking their dog and came across the biggest dog poo she had ever seen. This prompted her to send me a message. With the following first paragraph: **Warning: the attachment is a picture of the largest dog poo I've ever seen. Open at own risk**

So I say this to you: open at your own risk. Even if you don't - and I cannot blame you - you know the content.

As she has a dog, she's used to picking up dog poo. But said she thinks she draws the line at anything bigger than her hand. Which, if you look at this, it most certainly is.

And she said, "What if a dog this size gets the runs?"

This is something I cannot even contemplate.

However. This is not the reason we didn't get a dog this weekend. The main reason is that the Mastiff was not our dog, and the two pit bulls we saw at WARL that were sweet as pie and Nick wanted but I did not, even if they don't deserve their bad reputation, were not our dogs.

Also, Jordan was a bit of anasshole this weekend, belligerent and full of NONONONONOs! and even though I understand that he is teething and uncomfortable and frustrated that we are in charge and he can't do everything he wants to do, it made me all what the fuck are we doing trying to take on more responsibility of any variety?

Maybe it is less about the poo and more about the sleep. And the realization that you have almost zero free time to do things you actually want to do.

And maybe, just maybe, at this point in time one might be better off not piling anything more on?


  1. I get it, totally. Don't stress sweet Lisa - a pup will find you when the time is right. I hope the pile gets smaller for you soon :)

    I, too, feel bad for blogging about what I know best and not world events - but there are plenty that do so much better than I ever would.

    In my world,'s not an exact formula like the dog poo to hand size calculation, rather something like:
    Re-structure rumors at work + rare meeting with upper managemnt scheduled + on-going personal crisis management > what I can manage in a single day. Or year, for that matter.

  2. That is the Charlie Sheen of canine feces. It is bi-winning huge.

  3. But, BUT! Time change = more light, later on. After a week, I suspect cheerierness will be on its way.

    And maybe waiting a bit for the pup is not a bad idea. I think HK has it - the pup will find you when you're ready.

  4. I was afraid to look at the link.

    You are making a good call on the pit bulls. They can be really sweet, but you might not be able to get insurance coverage from some companies if you own one. I know 'cuz I checked when we were looking at sweet pit bull puppies.

    That was before we decided we didn't need to take on any more responsibility. All we feel up to is cats... also a contributing factor to why we haven't procreated yet.

  5. Having lived in northeast Japan years ago, I'm obsessed with the tsunami and earthquake coverage. I cannot get it out of my head and I'm spending far too much time in front of the computer searching for news. So, when I manage to break away from it I"m happy to find places where life is going on without the earth shaking and sea swallowing whole towns. In other words, I enjoy your posts about poop. Carry on.

  6. It might be shallow, but I can't let the crap happening elsewhere in the world overwhelm me, and that happens when I pay too much attention to it. I mean, I can donate what I can to the victims in Japan, but short of turning back time or somehow moving that country out of the Ring of Fire, there's not a lot I can do and it just makes me feel useless in addition to terribly sad for all those that are suffering.

    So, I concentrate on my own day to day things, as silly as they may seem, as miniscule as they may be on the scale of human experience. Otherwise, I'd be in the fetal position in the corner, 24/7.

  7. The big reason we don't have a dog? travelling, working, going out, when you have a dog, is difficult. Who's going to watch him? Send him to a kennel? And if you are late from work, what will you find? (With Betty there, this is less of a concern for you) But definitely think about the travel. (As well as the poo and other dog maintenance.)

    We do have cats, though. Much more self sufficient.

  8. Eeeek, I can't imagine having a kid AND a dog! Don't do it!!

    (Umm, full disclosure, I just really dislike dogs in general.)

  9. HK - Yikes, that's a lot. I hope all goes well with the management.

    As you know, our brains work very differently, so I'd never think to lay it out like that, but that's what it is. Too many things adding up to more than I can manage at once. Or anyway, at this time.

    And yes, one day our pup will find us. :)

    AdeF - Yes. Clearly the result of tiger blood and Adonis DNA.

    Jessica - It is definitely my time of year. I wish we stayed on this time all the time. I love the light evenings. But the adjustment kicks my ass every time.

    And yes, he or she will find us when we can handle it.

    Keenie Beanie - One, I didn't fall in love with either of them, and for me it's like dating - I need to see a sparkle in the eye or a look on the face or something that just grabs me. Also, I just felt like I would always worry, even if they were sweet. What if they snapped? What if other parents were afraid to have their kids at our house? What if something happened one random day? Not my dogs.

    Dana - I can't keep watching the videos. They make me cry. It's so awful.

    moosie - This is exactly how I am. If I let it consume me, I wind up in fetal position. So much of the world seems to be going to hell, and so many people are struggling...and it gets very overwhelming.

    cla517 - I know - they're so much work. And Betty has said she is absolutely NOT walking the dog. She wound up responsible for too many dogs in my childhood. So it would be the kennel, a dog walker, etc.

    frugalveganmom - It gets easier, I promise. And if you don't like dogs, it's impossible to imagine, I know. I hate cats, because I've always been allergic, so I cannot imagine ever wanting one. But I know it's my personal bias.

  10. I have two small dogs a foxie jack russell cross (Mac)and a jack russell(Mia),Both SPCA dogs, both very cute, both a lot of work. The back lawn is a minefield some days, a field of poop mines gah! Really though with everything thats going on for you right now, leave the pup for a while until you are feeling more relaxed and can enjoy rather than stress over poop and stuff.

  11. Would you like to borrow a dog one weekend? Just to see?

    I can offer you a hyper, gorgeous two year old who loves to give kisses to anyone/everyone who crosses her path, or a chill, well-behaved seven year old who goes apeshit when a tennis ball and a game of fetch are on the table.

  12. You will totally know it when you meet your dog- and you'll be ready. Best not to rush these things.

  13. I try to keep up on what's going on in the world, but I need light diversion, too - hey, it's ok to scratch yer ass, but ya don't have to rip it to pieces, ya know? The comedienne Paula Poundstone said: "What moron said knowledge is power? Knowledge is only power if it doesn't leave you in an immoveable heap at the foot of your bed."

    Then there's an older quote. Confuscious, I think: "Cultivating one's own garden is the politics of the humble man." This an attempt that you might find feeble, at segue to the subject of piling too much on. Like poo, for example. How much poo, if any, is too much in your garden, and who's going to clean that up?

    What I suggest, is to take a few vanguard situations on, that might answer that readiness question. Offer to doggie sit for friends, maybe contact your local shelters to see if they have a temporary doggie foster care program with which you could become involved. Then try taking a weekend trip with one, seeing, if you get one for a couple weeks, if you can find a willing sitter for yourselves, experiencing as many of the variables, logistics as possible.

    My dog died 1 1/2 yrs. ago at 16 yrs old. A long time since I had a pup around, and so I did that a few months ago, sitting a puppy, and have decided to wait longer. So glad I did - and to think, I've had dogs all my life!


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