Wednesday, March 02, 2011

The ways in which I am making myself crazy this week

Afternoon update: Me as a Martian rock star, courtesy of my friend Jess. (Embiggened by me to look more extra-terrestrial.)

1. Boob assessment: Are they bigger? Are they tender? Do my nipples look any different?

I keep poking at them and looking sideways in the mirror. I think they're pretty much the same as always, which is to say no, no, and I think they're always that color now.

2. Nausea: Is my stomach a little swirly? Is that nausea?

I'm a little nauseous. Wait, should I say nauseated? Apparently it used to matter but it doesn't anymore. So nauseous is fine.

Nausea! Nausea is good! But maybe it's allergies. Maybe I am sniffling from allergies and I'm having post-nasal drip and that's making me nauseous. Or nauseated. I don't think I have post-nasal drip, though. I'd notice, I'm pretty sure.

Or maybe I didn't eat enough before I took my vitamins. Or I'm hungry. I'm definitely hungry.

Who the fuck knows on the nausea.

3. Tiredness: Is this normal kid-was-up-chirping-in-the-middle-of-the-night-a-couple-times-this week-tired? Or am I extra-tired?

Hard to tell. I'm tired. But I'm often tired. Is this more tired-y tiredness?

4. Mood: Any mood swings or indication of hormonal shifts?

Definitely. Everyone irritates me. But I was pumped full of hormones this month and have been on an everyone-is-in-my-goddamn-way kick for the last several weeks.

Maybe it's pregnancy insanity?

Or maybe I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total, bitchin' rock star from Mars.

Fuck, maybe I'm Charlie Sheen.

(Also, speaking of, please click on this piece of awesomeness.)

18 comments:

  1. Lisa, you are fantastic and an absolute rock star. I think it was wise to omit an LG drawing for this post, nausea with the other items would have been tricky.

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  2. That really made me laugh. The drawing would've been a hideous conglomeration of weird abstractness. Definitely very colorful and swirly.

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  3. Colorful and swirly, sounds like your new boots!

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  4. I think that probably you are not Charlie Sheen. But I do hope that you are pregnant.

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  5. I kind of want to see a drawing of you as a rock star from Mars. Since I have no problem believing that you ARE, in fact, a rock star from Mars, I'll just go ahead and keep hoping for the alternative explanation for your symptoms.

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  6. Is it at all possible that charlie sheen knocked you up with some of his adonis dna?

    also? does tiger blood = tiger sperm as well? these are the things i think about at work...

    (fingers crossed!)

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  7. Ha! I love Coleen's suggestion that Charlie Sheen might be the father. Can you imagine? I think you'd want your child to never learn to speak :-)

    Good luck - when can you test and have it be accurate?

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  8. Stacey G - Hahaha - yes, like my new boots. But not as fun. :)

    Hillary - I'm pretty sure I'm not him as well. As for the latter, no clue. Argh!

    Jessica - Maybe I will attempt that. I think I'd need better drawing skillz than I possess, however.

    Coleen - Ew ew ew ew ew! The idea completely grosses me out. But I would have to imagine that yes, tiger blood would mean tiger sperm. Also, ew!

    Susan H - I cannot begin to contemplate it. I hate that Three and a Half Men show and haven't thought Charlie Sheen was hot since the 80s.

    They test Friday, and I think that's the earliest accurate possible. It is killing me.

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  9. The killer 2WW. Fingers crossed for you.

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  10. Fingers crossed that it's pregnancy-related boobs/nausea/exhaustion, rather than just life-related.

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  11. Wishing you huge boobs, much nausea and vomiting, utter exhaustion, ridiculous mood swings, and all the good stuff that goes with these things. My fingers are crossed.

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  12. friday is soooo close to today! i am giddy with excitement! giddy, i tell you!

    (i meant no offense, only that his all-powerful ability to "win" everything may well have enabled him to impregnate the entire eastern seaboard with his mind...or something...)

    i despise that show, it is decidedly NOT funny. he looks rather like an old woman.

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  13. Damn this is going to be a long week! Keep on hanging in there. I would have zero will power in your position, and would have peed on at least a dozen pregnancy tests by now (the cheapie internet ones not the drug store kind). So good job! As for the symptoms, well, you just never know. I was only a tad bit more tired the second time around, and all the early symptoms (achey boobies, extra peeing, twinges, etc.) I had for the first didn't apply at all for the second.

    Anyway, I'm really looking forward to Friday, and have everything crossed for you!

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  14. Hurry up, Friday! Fingers crossed, Lisa!

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  15. Ohhh, Good luck Gloria, you brought back so many memories for me with this post.

    Really, Really, good luck,lots of it xxx

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  16. Well, that just makes hoping Friday comes quickly that much more antsy-pants inducing.

    I'm pretty sure you'll be a few weeks ahead of me again, and since I'm going to have a baby in December (ahem, I am not pregnant) I think it's a sure thing your boobs will continue to inflate.

    In a related note, I am now Ms. Cleo. Please do not sue.

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  17. Someone told me in treatment this week that Charlie Sheen was his Higher Power. Um. WTF, dude? And he was ABSOLUTELY SERIOUS.

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  18. I'm pretty sure you're not Charlie Sheen. He never looked so good in purple swirly boots.

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