Wednesday, March 02, 2011

The ways in which I am making myself crazy this week

Afternoon update: Me as a Martian rock star, courtesy of my friend Jess. (Embiggened by me to look more extra-terrestrial.)

1. Boob assessment: Are they bigger? Are they tender? Do my nipples look any different?

I keep poking at them and looking sideways in the mirror. I think they're pretty much the same as always, which is to say no, no, and I think they're always that color now.

2. Nausea: Is my stomach a little swirly? Is that nausea?

I'm a little nauseous. Wait, should I say nauseated? Apparently it used to matter but it doesn't anymore. So nauseous is fine.

Nausea! Nausea is good! But maybe it's allergies. Maybe I am sniffling from allergies and I'm having post-nasal drip and that's making me nauseous. Or nauseated. I don't think I have post-nasal drip, though. I'd notice, I'm pretty sure.

Or maybe I didn't eat enough before I took my vitamins. Or I'm hungry. I'm definitely hungry.

Who the fuck knows on the nausea.

3. Tiredness: Is this normal kid-was-up-chirping-in-the-middle-of-the-night-a-couple-times-this week-tired? Or am I extra-tired?

Hard to tell. I'm tired. But I'm often tired. Is this more tired-y tiredness?

4. Mood: Any mood swings or indication of hormonal shifts?

Definitely. Everyone irritates me. But I was pumped full of hormones this month and have been on an everyone-is-in-my-goddamn-way kick for the last several weeks.

Maybe it's pregnancy insanity?

Or maybe I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total, bitchin' rock star from Mars.

Fuck, maybe I'm Charlie Sheen.

(Also, speaking of, please click on this piece of awesomeness.)


  1. Lisa, you are fantastic and an absolute rock star. I think it was wise to omit an LG drawing for this post, nausea with the other items would have been tricky.

  2. That really made me laugh. The drawing would've been a hideous conglomeration of weird abstractness. Definitely very colorful and swirly.

  3. Colorful and swirly, sounds like your new boots!

  4. I think that probably you are not Charlie Sheen. But I do hope that you are pregnant.

  5. I kind of want to see a drawing of you as a rock star from Mars. Since I have no problem believing that you ARE, in fact, a rock star from Mars, I'll just go ahead and keep hoping for the alternative explanation for your symptoms.

  6. Is it at all possible that charlie sheen knocked you up with some of his adonis dna?

    also? does tiger blood = tiger sperm as well? these are the things i think about at work...

    (fingers crossed!)

  7. Ha! I love Coleen's suggestion that Charlie Sheen might be the father. Can you imagine? I think you'd want your child to never learn to speak :-)

    Good luck - when can you test and have it be accurate?

  8. Stacey G - Hahaha - yes, like my new boots. But not as fun. :)

    Hillary - I'm pretty sure I'm not him as well. As for the latter, no clue. Argh!

    Jessica - Maybe I will attempt that. I think I'd need better drawing skillz than I possess, however.

    Coleen - Ew ew ew ew ew! The idea completely grosses me out. But I would have to imagine that yes, tiger blood would mean tiger sperm. Also, ew!

    Susan H - I cannot begin to contemplate it. I hate that Three and a Half Men show and haven't thought Charlie Sheen was hot since the 80s.

    They test Friday, and I think that's the earliest accurate possible. It is killing me.

  9. The killer 2WW. Fingers crossed for you.

  10. Fingers crossed that it's pregnancy-related boobs/nausea/exhaustion, rather than just life-related.

  11. Wishing you huge boobs, much nausea and vomiting, utter exhaustion, ridiculous mood swings, and all the good stuff that goes with these things. My fingers are crossed.

  12. friday is soooo close to today! i am giddy with excitement! giddy, i tell you!

    (i meant no offense, only that his all-powerful ability to "win" everything may well have enabled him to impregnate the entire eastern seaboard with his mind...or something...)

    i despise that show, it is decidedly NOT funny. he looks rather like an old woman.

  13. Damn this is going to be a long week! Keep on hanging in there. I would have zero will power in your position, and would have peed on at least a dozen pregnancy tests by now (the cheapie internet ones not the drug store kind). So good job! As for the symptoms, well, you just never know. I was only a tad bit more tired the second time around, and all the early symptoms (achey boobies, extra peeing, twinges, etc.) I had for the first didn't apply at all for the second.

    Anyway, I'm really looking forward to Friday, and have everything crossed for you!

  14. Hurry up, Friday! Fingers crossed, Lisa!

  15. Ohhh, Good luck Gloria, you brought back so many memories for me with this post.

    Really, Really, good luck,lots of it xxx

  16. Well, that just makes hoping Friday comes quickly that much more antsy-pants inducing.

    I'm pretty sure you'll be a few weeks ahead of me again, and since I'm going to have a baby in December (ahem, I am not pregnant) I think it's a sure thing your boobs will continue to inflate.

    In a related note, I am now Ms. Cleo. Please do not sue.

  17. Someone told me in treatment this week that Charlie Sheen was his Higher Power. Um. WTF, dude? And he was ABSOLUTELY SERIOUS.

  18. I'm pretty sure you're not Charlie Sheen. He never looked so good in purple swirly boots.


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