Thursday, March 24, 2011

The reason you totally want my name on your mailing list

So, Nine West sent me an email with these platform espadrilles.

Immediately I was all, ooh, pretty, shiny, sparkly! Click!

Which then sucked me into the rabbit hole of the Nine West site, making me more and more sure that I NEEEEEEEED platform espadrilles for spring! My life would be totally amazing and carefree if I could just have platform espadrilles!

Although if you watch this video, it's kind of disconcerting, because you get the sense that an army of naked but-for-their-espadrilles giant women are marching towards you and could totally stomp the shit out of you if necessary.

Maybe it's just me.

But this then led me to hmm, what other platform espadrilles are out there?

Let me tell you. THESE:

These $425 red babies, which you can order from Zappos and have, oh, tomorrow. (Nevermind that tomorrow will still be cold.) These little jam tarts of deliciousness would not only make my life significantly more glamorous, but would make me 5' 8 1/4" tall!

They could change my whole existence. I immediately imagined myself strolling confidently and tall-ly down the street in, oh, Paris, with a breeze ruffling my dress (and also swooping away the crumbs from the luscious pastry I'd most likely have in hand). I'd probably even be so bold as to wink at cute men who walked by. And then if it were awkward, I could just pretend that the breeze blew something into my eye.

(I mean, in an alternate universe. In my married universe, I wouldn't eat pastry in Paris without my husband. Not before September, anyway. At which point, these shoes will be past their season.)

Minor setback: I don't actually have a $425 shoe life. Also, I won't be in Paris with a pastry in the breeze anytime soon. But can't you picture it?

All this to say, I am one of those people who will open an email with pretty pictures and be all, yes! Want! Need! Must have! Clickety click click!

Seriously, Nine West. I'll see you this weekend.


  1. I like the red ones but $425...thats my electricity bill right there...sigh...

  2. Maiden Metallurgist - Yes! So fresh and springy, no? Fun!

    IWASNTBLOGGEDYESTERDAY - I know. Totally out of budget. But so pretty!

  3. Someone please explain this to me, cause I'd kind of like to understand. The Nine West shoes are $99. The other shoes are $425. To the little sparkly gold bits and a slightly different strap arrangement really make them worth an extra $326?

  4. Great minds think alike -- for the past week and a half I have totally been eyeing the Bahia version -- the ones with the ginormous sunflowers on them. Luuuurve.

  5. Just get a job writing about life in your big city and you can have all the shoes and Paris too! Heck, I'd read that column, I mean really I'm kinda already addicted to it. I say pitch this idea to the big newspaper guys, what can they say? A column or a book = Lots O Shoes
    PS, We got a blizzard yesterday with 8 inches of snow! We have a high of 27 today. What is a sandle? I forgot... F#@$!

  6. I'd seriously contemplate the green ones. But alas, wedges - especially espadrille-covered wedges - make my giant feet look even gianter.

    Now these, on the other hand, are perfection.

  7. vvk - Um, I don't exactly have an answer, except that they're more fabulous than the Nine West ones. But not $326 more fabulous, at least, not in my world.

    Wendy - Oh, those are cute! Cute cute! I love flowery shoes!

    Lynn - Sigh. I just need someone to hire me to do it. :)

    And shut the front door! A blizzard with 8 inches of snow??? Gross.

    Jessica - I don't actually believe you, but if you say so. :)

    And you could totally wear those pretty pretty shoes! I myself do better with the stability of a wedge, since I tend to bump into walls even while barefoot.

  8. Oh I would love to be able to wear those, but I would SO break my ankles. Wouldn't I? Hmmmm maybe not. Maybe I should try. See you at Nine West this weekend!

  9. oh my god - the two of us together are a retailer's wet dream. honestly, if someone can't sell something to me they're doing it all wrong. i've found that simply unsubscribing from emails saves me TONS of money - can't wait to see what life altering shoes you get! i need to shop vicariously through someone and i believe i've found my mark

  10. For $425, let's hope, no, expect, no, demand, that the workers made a decent living wage - IN AMERICA.

  11. uuuhhhh Pretty!!!! I like red and shiney...

    I am going shopping for winter shoes tonight. I got sent a 20% vip discount so am damnwell going to use it. I desparately need some winter boots. Short ones of scourse cause the tall ones wont go near my kankles.

  12. Damn!!!! I just checked out this Nine West you talk about...........instant slobbering on my keyboard but the bastards dont ship outside the US GRRRRR it is so damn hard to get nice decent shoes here theres NOTHING remotely like that unless you want to be paying 500.00 a pair every time and most are made in China and dont fit well anyway.

  13. Miranda - If I don't break my ankles, you won't. See you at Nine West! :)

    jen - That's close to how I am. I don't get a lot of email marketing because I always get sucked in. I don't necessarily buy, but I waste a lot of time browsing.

    tamater sammich - Looks like they're made in Italy. I'm going to assume wages are decent, no?

    Go-Betty - I love the red and shiny! And that's right - you're the opposite of us! Yes, new boots! I had a roommate from NZ years ago and during her year in the US she bought TONS of clothes and shoes to bring home.

    moosie - Don't they totally look like the kind of spring freshness we all need?

  14. Literally LOL. And, literally, NEED THOSE SHOES!!

  15. Yep. I am going to do it. I am struggling with this spring. We have had soem real sadness over here and while shoes may not fix what ails they will surely pick me up.
    Zappos here I come. Thanks for this
    I think I need these shows

  16. dont do it kiddo...platforms...are an addiction (i would know) i mean once you get up NEVER want to come down...
    ok excuse me while i go donate plasma to feed my platform addiction...


Tell me about it.