So, Nine West sent me an email with these platform espadrilles.
Immediately I was all, ooh, pretty, shiny, sparkly! Click!
Which then sucked me into the rabbit hole of the Nine West site, making me more and more sure that I NEEEEEEEED platform espadrilles for spring! My life would be totally amazing and carefree if I could just have platform espadrilles!
Although if you watch this video, it's kind of disconcerting, because you get the sense that an army of naked but-for-their-espadrilles giant women are marching towards you and could totally stomp the shit out of you if necessary.
Maybe it's just me.
But this then led me to hmm, what other platform espadrilles are out there?
Let me tell you. THESE:
These $425 red babies, which you can order from Zappos and have, oh, tomorrow. (Nevermind that tomorrow will still be cold.) These little jam tarts of deliciousness would not only make my life significantly more glamorous, but would make me 5' 8 1/4" tall!
They could change my whole existence. I immediately imagined myself strolling confidently and tall-ly down the street in, oh, Paris, with a breeze ruffling my dress (and also swooping away the crumbs from the luscious pastry I'd most likely have in hand). I'd probably even be so bold as to wink at cute men who walked by. And then if it were awkward, I could just pretend that the breeze blew something into my eye.
(I mean, in an alternate universe. In my married universe, I wouldn't eat pastry in Paris without my husband. Not before September, anyway. At which point, these shoes will be past their season.)
Minor setback: I don't actually have a $425 shoe life. Also, I won't be in Paris with a pastry in the breeze anytime soon. But can't you picture it?
All this to say, I am one of those people who will open an email with pretty pictures and be all, yes! Want! Need! Must have! Clickety click click!
Seriously, Nine West. I'll see you this weekend.