It turns out you're not supposed to congratulate women on getting married. Did you know this?
I have received, and happily - oh so happily - a number of congratulations.
Practically everyone I've told has congratulated me. Personally, I've always congratulated anyone who has ever gotten engaged, woman or man.
On Friday evening I was at Nick's office, and saw, for the first time since we got engaged, one of his colleagues. I like him. He's very kind. He's also very socially correct, very proper.
We really don't know each other. He has no idea what a Philistine I am.
And so, when he saw us, he kissed me on the cheek and said, "Best wishes! I congratulated Nick but I haven't seen you!"
I said I'd just heard that it was proper to congratulate men, while you're supposed to give women best wishes. And I was just wondering why.
So he said, "Well, you're essentially congratulating the man on having gotten the woman to marry him."
"But you wish a woman well because you don't want to suggest that she's been working to get married. You don't want the implication to be, 'Congratulations! You finally got a husband!'"
Now, anyone who knows me knows that it hasn't been my life goal to get married. And truthfully, I'd almost given up on it, I'd gotten so jaded. But I do feel like I've worked for this. I want all the congratulations anyone is offering.
And I said, "Oh, but that's how I feel! Yay! I am so lucky! I got a good one!"
I put my arms up in the air, like a gymnast at the end of a routine. I mean, like a gymnast wearing high heeled boots and a bright pink winter coat and pink flowery hat and carrying a big orange bag. So maybe like a brightly clad, winterized, graceless gymnast. But still.
As I did this I said, "I do! I feel like I finally stuck the landing!"
He giggled. Because what else can you do when faced with this kind of behavior?
Oh, I love you. That pic is exactly how I feel. :)ReplyDelete
I can totally see you doing that! The orange bag makes the look!ReplyDelete
you know... you stop reading blogs for a while and then folks just up and get engaged...ReplyDelete
congratulations!!! i wish you both well and much, much happiness! may you be the nadia comaneci of marriedness :)
That's hilarious -- but in your shoes I'd totally feel the same way!ReplyDelete
I giggled while reading then burst into laughter at the pic in Jordaan's comment.ReplyDelete
A gymnast from a tropical country might wear a pink and orange, flowery leotard. Might!
I like the theory of congratulating the man on getting the woman to marry him. I think I'll remember that! I guess sometimes over the top PC is useful!ReplyDelete
that's craziness! since when did "congratulations!" start to mean "thank god you finally landed a guy!"?ReplyDelete
if that's the case, couldn't "best wishes!" mean "good luck with that one!"?
I totally do the gymnast who stuck her landing arms in the air thing too when I'm excited or proud or just plain happy over something!ReplyDelete
I have an Australian perspective on this, but your colourful (note the 'u' in colour...) description makes me think Soleil Moon Frye just got engaged.ReplyDelete
Whatevever happened to Punky Brewster...
Oh, I love that kind of thing. I'll be sure to follow etiquette from now on.ReplyDelete
I have heard about this and I kinda like it. But I love anything old-fashioned and proper. I would probably love to lunch with this guy and enjoy every carefully-chosen, grammatically-correct word of our conversation.ReplyDelete
DCup - I treat that orange bag as a neutral. The orange and pink are pretty alarming together. And even more so with my turquose gloves. Heh.ReplyDelete
Jess - Ooh! Thank you! I love that! I do want to be the Nadia Comaneci of marriedness!
Beach Bum - I'm glad to hear that!
HKW - I know - isn't that picture hilarious? As for the leotard - it would probably look fruit-salady and scary, quite frankly. :)
Canaan - I like it, too!
MrsMac - I dunno. And ha! As amazing as he is, I'd be happy to be wished good luck with this one. :)
Sarah - I got this move from my friend Jen and I just love it.
GaryQ - Colourful! With a U! Heh!
Rich - It's the kind of thing I'll probably forget immediately.
Amisare - I like this guy very much. I'm sure he'd be fun to have lunch with.