Thursday, September 04, 2014

So you don't confuse them with mountains

My daughter has become extremely interested in breasts of late.

Jordan didn't do this, but I had a friend who swore her daughter had this breastfeeding radar; she could locate anyone within a one-mile radius. She'd leap up out of nowhere from where they were sitting on the beach or in the park and make a beeline for a woman nursing.

She'd jump up and sprint off and her mom would be all, "Someone somewhere is lactating."

I remember as a kid being really interested in breastfeeding. But not breasts themselves. But maybe when I was two?

"These your boomps, Mommy?"

"They sure are."

Boomps are the new black in our house.

Maybe I should've told her they were called breasts. I said "boobs" when she asked, because that's what I call them.

Well, I told her she has nipples and Jordan has nipples. They were both sitting naked at the table asking. So then she was wondering about mine.

We take them to the pool, and change in locker rooms. They're naked most of the time at home, and they see other naked people. They ask about body parts, and I tell them.

When my kids swim they are super covered, as am I, but that is about SPF and not modesty. 

Recently Jordan asked if he could go swimming naked, and I said that if we were in Europe, he could certainly be naked on the beach, but here he cannot.

"Why not?"

"People get upset."

So India has, of late, gotten all interested in the boomps. Mine, specifically. I don't know if she's interested in other people's; she hasn't done anything to suggest it.

If I'm holding her or carrying her, she sometimes gives each of my breasts a quick little pat, all, hi, friends! Sometimes she'll do it with both hands at the same time. An exuberant hellooo!

Or sometimes she'll just slip a hand inside my shirt, in the way I sometimes rest mine in a front pocket. And then she'll give a tiny squeeze. Hello again! Just checkin' on ya!

I figure this interest will fade away on its own. But for now, it's the boomps.

"Mama! You got boomps?"

And then I have to look down to see if in today's outfit I do or I don't. You never know.

She pulls my bra out of the laundry pile. "This your bra, Mommy?"

"You know it is!"

"You put it on your boomps? I put it on."

"You don't need a bra now, sweetheart."

"I have boomps, Mommy?"

"You will one day, honey. When you're grown up."

"I grow up I put a bra on my boomps!"

Rock on, sweetie pie.


  1. Boomps! Haha! So cute. Clara is almost 5 and she still gives mine a little pat from time to time. We've started talking about how some places are private. Which will be good for her to learn, because she loooooves to talk about her VULVA.

    Muriel, who is 7 (omg she just started 2nd grade!) says nibbles instead of nipples. She also says rabbits instead of rapids! Hey mommy, look at those whitewater rabbits!

    1. I laughed SO HARD and then I read it to Betty, and we laughed all over again. She loves to talk about her vulva. This is awesome.

    2. Also, Jordan calls Cinderella's fairy godmother her very godmother. I love it. I want it to never go away. That and lellow. Why do they call him Mellow Lellow?


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