I used to think I was a morning person.
Have I told you this before? I also to also have a great memory.
In any case, I told Nick the other night that I used to be a morning person and he laughed so hard I thought he was going to hurt himself.
To support my assertion, I said that in Peace Corps, I voluntarily got up at 5:45 am to go running every morning. The fact is, I went to sleep at 9:00 every night, because there were no streetlights, and once it was dark, it was dark.
But in any case, my contention is that I used to be a morning person. I also told him that two different roommates, Maude and Jane, thought I was a morning person.
It could, however, also be by contrast, because neither of them prefer to speak at all in the morning.
At any rate, at some point I became a not-morning person. And there have been years where I could barely struggle out of bed at all.
There were years that I blamed my children, because they were, in fact, to blame for waking me at regular intervals throughout the night.
But now they are solid little sleepers.
And lately my sleep is worse than ever.
So now I'm wondering if maybe I should cut out coffee entirely. Or have, like, one cup in the morning and then be done for the day.
This is very much not my M.O. I like many cups of coffee. Although I do stop with the caffeine by noon. Ish. But maybe, maybe at this juncture, that's not good enough.
I have a friend who quit coffee entirely because she found it made her anxious. Does it make me anxious? I don't know. Not sleeping definitely makes me anxious.
Nick has, upon threats of clockily harm, muffled the Heirloom of My Discontent. So now when I'm up at 3:00 am reviewing every single misstep I've ever taken in my entire life, at least I'm not also counting the hour and the half hour with DING DING fucking DING.
That's better. And yet, still I struggle.
Maybe I go to one cup. Or maybe switch to decaf. Maybe I give up coffee entirely. I do enjoy coffee. And caffeine.
But there have been a variety of things I've enjoyed over the years that have not been my friends.
Have any of you quit drinking coffee and felt like it improved your life?