Tomorrow my dad has surgery. They take the feeding tube out of his nose and connect one to his stomach. They also want to reduce the size of the hole in his throat. They think these two things are keeping his trachea from recovering.
I have been acting like he will be fine, absolutely fine. He's so much better than he was two weeks ago. God, it was two weeks today. And it feels like a year.
Apparently in the scheme of things, these are minor surgeries. The doctor wants to do them both at the same time so he only needs to be under anesthesia once.
But they're still surgeries. And he's 70 years old. And his poor body has been through a lot.
The truth is, something could happen. He could still get an infection. He could get pneumonia. We could still lose him.
When I let myself really think about it, I am absolutely terrified.
We're out here with good thoughts for your dad.ReplyDelete
I'm a good worrier. When you feel like you can't worry anymore, email me and I'll fill in for a while. Maybe that's we all need sometimes, a back-up worry buddy so that we can take a break.
Definitely sending all the good thoughts I can muster your way - wish there was more I could do.ReplyDelete
As always, take care of you.
We're praying for him... Hang in there.ReplyDelete
You know I'm thinking about you, babe.ReplyDelete
A back-up worry buddy is one of the kindest gestures I can think of. Positive thoughts. Positive thoughts.ReplyDelete
Lisa, it takes the same amount of energy to think negative thoughts as it does to think positive ones. We focus on the negative because we think we'll be better prepared to deal with something if it comes up, but really we're never prepared to deal with these issues. So, for your dad's sake, focus on the positive. Imagine him doing as brilliantly as he has in the past two weeks. And you'll see, he'll surprise you with his recovery.ReplyDelete
DCup - Thank you for your sweetness. I'd be happy to let you take over my worrying any minute now. :)ReplyDelete
Dagny - Thanks for the continued good thoughts. They help.
VVK - Thanks for the prayers and hugs.
LMNt - I know, and you've been so lovely.
HKW - Thank you thank you for the positive thoughts!
G&D - You are right. My brother says I'm going to break my heart not preparing for the worst, but the fact is, my heart will be broken even if that's how I attempt to approach it.