Sunday, November 25, 2007

Our Britney Spears days have come to a close

A guy I know once described his first year of college as what he thinks it must be like to be Britney Spears every day.

He'd gone to a very strict, all-male boarding school. And then suddenly he arrived at college. Where there was alcohol! And women! And anything else you could want! With nobody telling you that you had to do anything!

This has been our approach to life the last couple days. Yesterday was very, very decadent. In case you couldn't tell from the alcohol-soaked near-incoherence that was my post o' the day. I'm sure there were rum fumes emanating from your monitors as you read it.

I mean, it feels like magic when men appear out of nowhere and ask you what you'd like to drink. And then bring it to you. And since you paid for everything up front, it all feels like it's free. You never have to hassle with prosaic details such as prices or bills. We've been all, "Money? Is for bitchez."


And you guys, there's an ice cream machine at our favorite outside bar! Who on god's lush, tropical, beachy, tipsy earth can pass up free ice cream? When you're sitting right next to it?

I'd like to say Lisa and Jen, but I'd be lying to you. It is true, however, that I resisted the temptation to just stand under it with my mouth open and have Jen pull down the vanilla chocolate swirl lever. That I did not do. But only because I was not raised in a barn.

But today we kind of hit our decadence limit. Today we both awoke in our respective beds at 6:30 am. Me, all kinds of hung over, and Jen fretting about doing her Macedonian homework.

While we'd like to be the kind of people who just don't crank it down till, well, the plane hits the tarmac at BWI, we are not. We'd love to be the people who are dancing their asses off, and have their last margarita just before boarding the plane tomorrow morning. Who lose their underwear in the shrubbery and strew broken hearts across the sand like beached starfish.

And instead we think the height of craziness is to have 54 daytime cocktails and too much ice cream! Oh, the power of being in charge of the ice cream machine! Oh, the insanity of a daiquiri before noon!

We're all kinds of crazy like that.

And there might have been a little tiny bit of skinny dipping. But that's hardly worth mentioning.


Tell me about it.