Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Because I'm such a delicate flower

Living in DC means having allergies, as far as I can tell. And whatever is blooming right now is really getting to me.

Which would be pretty much anything and everything. Except the cherry blossoms. Their lovely little pink blooming faces are done for the season, aren't they?

I've had allergy testing a plethora of times over the years. The scratch tests on your back. The injections up and down your arms. And every time? It turns out I'm allergic to a shocking number of things on this planet.

So if you've ever had allergy shots, you know that there's an indoor arm and an outdoor arm.

Indoor being cats and dust and mold and things like, um, housework? I wish they would test for that. I'm sure I am.

And outdoor would be grass, trees, and I don't know what all. Pretty much everything between the sun and the earth except clouds. And butterflies. I don't think I'm allergic to butterflies. In fact, I don't think they test for bugs. Do people have bug allergies?

It would be so convenient to be allergic to liars or men with huge issues. Wouldn't it be great to start sneezing or itching when you're around someone who is going to be bad for you? You'd be on a date and get a rash and know it was time to say goodbye.


I can't remember which one is worse for me in general, but currently, I should be indoors with the windows shut tight. Which is so hard to do.

Because I love love love spring when everything is blooming. I look at bright, happy yellow daffodils like little espresso shots - the best way to wake up in the morning.

And running in the sunshine is one of my favorite things. I'm always sticking my nose in someone's flowers on my way down the street. Lilacs are my favorite, and they remind me of my grandmother. Dogwood makes me so happy. I love azaleas - the light pink ones in particular - more than is reasonable. I just beam when I see them.

But I do recognize they're not really my friends. I'm not doing myself any favors with the nose-flower-sticking-inning. When I do sit ups in the grass on my way home from a run I itch all the way to the shower. And it's an itch you can't scratch, or it turns into welts.

Our dog Gloria used to roll around in the grass, and then when I saw her I'd pick her up and hug all over her. And then eventually have to go wash my arms before it got too bad. And my neck if she'd snuggled under it. Itch itch.

I was going to say an itch is not such a huge price to pay for love, but I've gotta say, it really depends on where. And the cause.

From spring flowers to odd itches. Is not actually where I intended to go with this.

And that's all I've got to say about that.


  1. They totally test for bugs and mice and all sorts of disgusting things. I remember thinking REALLY? They're going to scratch me and then put a drop of cockroach in there? Is that safe?

    Turns out I'm allergic to cockroaches. Is that supposed to be a surprise?

  2. YIKES! Really? A drop of cockroach or mouse. Ick ick ick. I'm glad I didn't know that the last time they were testing. I knew cockroaches exacerbated asthma, but somehow my brain didn't do the processing as far as a drop of cockroach in the injection. This freaks me out almost more than Guinea Worm.

  3. Aren't some people highly allergic to bees? Like a bee sting? Now how do they test for that, until you find out about it the hard way?

  4. I found out about my allergy to oak trees about a week after moving into my penultimate apartment. Which, as it happened, had a gorgeous pin oak just outside my bedroom window.

    You have my sympathy - I hope you feel better soon!

  5. Yes - feel better soon. Keep taking the time to smell the roses though! All the pretty things your described - so refreshing.

    My Dad is allergic to chocolate. It's tragic.

    My husband is allergic to shellfish. So I rarely order seafood when we go out together. Also tragic.

  6. if you could develop some sort of virus you could inject into people that would make them allergic to the bad people in their lives... you'd be RICH! like a gazillionaire. and i'd be first in line.

    and the smell of boxwood reminds me of my family. whenever my sister and i smell it we say "it smells like maryland!"
    i'm glad i'm not allergic to that.

  7. It's not just you and it's not just DC. I've sneezed like 26 times already this morning. Ouch.

  8. I'd like to do one of those allergy tests but I have a phobia about needles. Bad.

  9. Beach Bum - I am ridiculously uninformed...I have no idea! And people are deathly allergic!

    Dagny - That sucks. And it's such a bummer to be allergic to pretty things. Especially things right outside your window.

    HKW - Both those things are definitely tragic. I'd miss chocolate more than shellfish.

    notsojenny - Yah - wouldn't that be so helpful? You'd start to itch and know that the person was best left alone. And I love smells that remind me of a particular time and place!

    Nicole - Ouch. Sorry to hear that.

    HIN - Can't you just close your eyes really tight? Or maybe you could bring along some porn to distract you?

  10. I've been lucky that my allergies are mild, but dang, I could use a big old dose of vaccine against people who are bad for me.

  11. Lisa, you rock. Thank you for giving me something to laugh about *in a good way, of course* after a long night at work.

  12. I'm allergic to PABA, which is found in most sunscreens. It takes a little searching to find a sunblock that won't give me hives.

  13. DCup - We ALL could. I wonder how you'd innoculate against it?

    East Coast Teacher - Thanks! I'm so happy to hear that!

    Kerrie - I have a Neutrogena one that has helioplex or something futuristically named like that. It's supposed to be really good.

  14. I'm allergic to everything under the sun... except men who are bad for me. That would be awesome, because clearly I can't trust my own judgment.


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