Friday, October 29, 2010

Underwear dance party boots. Although I think I could wear them with leggings as well.

I took back those hurty little hellboxes.

By that I mean, I'm no longer the owner of fabulous leopard print heels.

Which makes me very sad, because one, I spent so much time justifying! And two, I need - NEED - some leopard in my life. And three, they made me tall! And four, I love hairy shoes.

I know they call it pony hair, although I don't understand why.

Years ago when I still had a good relationship with my sister-in-law, we were shopping and trying on pony hair shoes. I said I loved them but just couldn't bring myself to wear shoes that used to be parts of cute little ponies. She insisted they weren't actually pony bits, but rather cows.

So we had this big debate in the shoe section of Macy's, and she went and asked the shoe guy, who laughed out loud at her question.

They're not made of pony. They are in fact cow.

Anyway, I wore the hellboxes around the house for half an hour, much of it sitting with my feet up, admiring the glamour...and I realized that they were stiff and squinchy and just terribly uncomfortable. My feet were begging to be let out.

So I boxed them up, and marched them over to Nine West. They were all delighted and welcoming until I said I had a return, at which point they were polite-ish but kind of attitudey.

Which prompted me to be bitchfaced attitudey back. I get very pursed lips flared nostril glarey when people do that to me.

I was all, "Of course I have the receipt and go ahead and act like this is a huge effort and pointedly examine the soles because no, I haven't worn them, and the reason I'm returning them is because they're more uncomfortable than driving nails into the bottom of your feet and then riding Metro with a bunch of idiot tourists, fuckyouverymuch."

But the story ends well!

Because I realized that these lovely grey over-the-knee boots were totally on sale at Piperlime and also I found a 10% off code and so for under $20 I swapped the hurty hellboxes for some deliciously comfortable suede cutie boots.

With no guilt! Because most of the money was already spent on shoes anyway!

And now I'm trying to figure out what to wear them with. So far I've just been having an underwear dance party in them. Yes, that's what's going on above.

Don't judge. At least, not till you've walked a mile. With no pants.

In fact, maybe today will be a No More Pants kind of day.

So maybe just go ahead and judge.

Happy Friday!


  1. Leggings and a tunic/sweater dress. Very cute.

  2. I beg Luke to make returns for me because sales ladies are nice to guys in a shoe store, but not to women who return things. I'd rather not deal with mean, attitudy strangers.

    No more pants is one of my favorite posts. Love the boots and Risky Business dance scene you've got going on!

  3. Wendy - Yah, I think so. I think I could even wear that to work. Definitely need something. My white legs are blinding.

    Lisa - Easy peasy! Piperlime! Free shipping!

  4. HKW - I hadn't thought of that. But I think men have an easier time in most transactions, so it makes sense.

    Hahaha - I'm not dancing on couches or anything. :)

  5. Who doesn't dance in their undies? People who don't have FUN, that's who.

  6. Hahaha, new shoes underwear dance party! I am totally going to have one of those, wearing my birthday splurge! Woooo!

  7. Jess and I will be right over for the undies dance party. Jessica believes in the less clothing the better, although she does now have some modesty around daddy. The other day we were getting ready for bed and she says to me "mommy, is daddy here?" I told her no that daddy had to go to work. Her response? "Good. That means I don't have to put on my undies!" :)

    Happy Friday. What is the little man going to be for Halloween?

  8. Wish the camera would have zoomed back quite a bit, but they do look loverly as is. Hope you find places to wear them to.

  9. I just bought two pairs of boots and lot's O'leggings and tunics and I don't think I'll ever wear anything else again. So cute and comfy at the same time. Who knew? Hey get a leopard scarf or gloves or purse or ummm....leopard diapers??? Well maybe you should wait for that next baby and see if it's a girl. Do they even make leopard diapers? Ackk...why do I even need to know that?
    Happy weekend to you!

  10. ps and I meant for the leopard diapers to be for the future baby...not for you....I wonder if I'll ever get this comment shit right? :-)

  11. yes - underwear dance party boots!

  12. Kate - EXACTLY!

    A.S. - I LOVE your shoes! Definite new shoes underwear dance party! Yay!

    cla517 - She is hilarious! J might be a frog. I got him a too-big frog costume last year, and if it fits, he's a frog. If not, um, he's going to bed.

    JoeinVegas - You really don't. The blinding white of my legs is pretty overwhelming.

    Lynn - Oh, you make me laugh. I love the idea of leopard print diapers. If they had them, I'd stick J in them right now. I'm pretty sure they don't though - don't you think we'd have seen a commercial?

  13. stacy - Cripes - I keep missing comments!

    Glad you agree! Thanks!

  14. Hurty little hellboxes has got to be the best thing I've read all day!

  15. Those boots are beautiful.

    And that gettin all bitchfaced attitudey back is one of the things I love about you. Like that damn hotel taking your chairs away at 5:00 - How DARE they! You tell it like it is girl.


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