Wednesday, May 23, 2012


Jordan got so infuriated the other night he took off his pants. And his diaper.

This is what happens when he gets mad. He's all, "I'll show you! I'll just take off my pants right now! See if I don't!"

I'd seen it during the daytime with the pants, but not at night. Not diaper and all.

He was, ostensibly, angry because we wouldn't let him take a sippy cup of milk to bed. Even though he never goes to bed with milk.

He lay in bed yelling, "Milk time! Miiiiilk time!"

Now, if he'd been yelling, "Milk! Milk! Milk for the morning cake!" I'd have been amused. As it was, I was not.

We ignored it.

I went in later because he was sobbing. I walked in and he said, "I took off my diaper! Put my diaper on!"

And there it was, lying in a corner of his crib. So I picked him up (no small feat t this point) and hugged him and got him a clean diaper.

He didn't actually want his pants and diaper off. The diaper is the final straw. It's his grand gesture. Less effective when you're alone, you know?

It's never occurred to me to take off a piece of clothing in anger. Drunkenness, sure. Anger? Never. In anger I throw mean, hateful words. And stomp and slam. But not things, certainly not clothing.

I have to assume he gets it from Nick.

Because now that I think about it, several years ago, Nick and I had that terrible fight on the corner of 17th Street about where to put the washer and dryer, which wasn't actually about the washer and dryer. And he took off his jacket and threw it on the ground. And then his tie. Slammed them onto the sidewalk.

While it's not my choice of behavior, it's a pretty effective expression of frustration and rage.

Whereas pants removal, as an adult, not so much. Can you imagine?

You're at the office, and you get into a disagreement with a colleague who makes you insanely angry. Or you get into a car accident where the other person is at fault and belligerent. You both get out.

Tempers flare. And then you get to the point where you have nothing more to say, you're just that mad.

You are fuming. You've hit your point. That is it: YOU'LL SHOW THEM. YOU'LL JUST TAKE. YOUR. PANTS. OFF!





  1. i'm totally going to rip my pants off the next time i get angry - that'll teach 'em!

  2. Hands down best blog post of the day.

    Next time I fight with my husband, I'm taking my pants off. Wait...he'll think it means sexy time. Dang it.

    1. Thank you!

      And yah, there is that peril of misunderstanding...

  3. Hahaha! Oh man, I'd pay to see the look on people's faces when someone did that!

  4. This is hilarious. And it does seem like it would be very effective. Unless you were wearing the lazysuit. Then, it would be kind of like trying to storm out of a room and accidentally opening the door to the closet instead.

    1. It is, incidentally, possibly the most comfortable thing I have ever put on my person. Ever. I can't even imagine how angry I'd have to be to try to tear it off out of rage. I can't imagine getting that angry while wearing it.

    2. This makes me laugh. Trying to storm out of a room and opening the door to the closet!

      And yah, isn't it ridiculously comfortable? And you have the height and length benefit of not having to roll up arms and legs a tremendous amount.

  5. See, I resolve that issue by just never wearing pants!

  6. Aw, little guy! That is just too cute!

  7. The part of the story that is so sweet is that he asked you to put his diaper back on. Poor little guy.

  8. I'd laugh my head off if someone did that in front of me. Not a kid but a grown person. Or I'd stand there not knowing what to do and laugh anyway.

    Either way... funny :D

  9. If I did this with my husband he'd pick a fight hourly. If I did this with the world I'd get my way all day every day as no one wants to see my bidness!
    Poor Jordan, finally looking down and maybe realizing taking the diaper off made him more vulnerable and less serious.

  10. The image of Nick on the corner, slamming down his coat and tie... well that made me laugh out loud. Sorry, Nick.

  11. This whole post, just hilarious! However, I can't see myself taking off an item of clothing in anger, I'd probably get my arms stuck in the sleeves, or worse yet, my feet stuck in my pant legs and then I'd be angry and humiliated at having fallen on my face.
    Although I would've loved to see Nick throwing his jacket and tie on the ground, and Jordan is too cute for words!

  12. Ha! Erin used to do the same thing. First the shoes and hat, then the shirt and pants, then nappy (and undies once she was toilet trained). Usually when required to do something she didn't want to do.

    I used to get little notes from daycare "Erin had a good day today, she was only naked twice".

    Now she just storms to her room and slams the door. She's 3.5.....

  13. One of my favorite aspects of old houses: solid wood doors. All the better to slam!

  14. That's hilarious! I do recall being given a piece of pre-wedding advice, that when my husband and I start fighting, the quickest way to end a fight is to take off one's pants. Because apparently no one can continue being angry at someone who looks so silly and vulnerable, or stay angry without one's pants on.

    It was interesting visualizing Nick throwing his tie to the ground. Jackets have heft, especially on a tall guy like him, but a tie seems so flimsy and light. :)

  15. Ok next time I argue with dynamo guy I am just going to get angry and take off my shirt and bra.......I'm picking I will win the argue
    ment lmao....classic!
    Trying to picture Nick slamming jacket and tie to the ground craks me up. Talk about a 17th Ave tanty lol.

  16. I love this. My youngest occasionally threatens to wreck his own toys if he doesn't get his way (go for your life, sweetie), but we've not had the pants & underwear off. (Or the trousers and pants - if you're British, like me... Which of course gives a whole new aspect to taking your pants off if you're angry in the office. You'd BETTER be angry if you're going to do that.)

  17. Oh, hahaha, thank you oh so much, hahaha!


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