Sunday, March 25, 2007

Like a Hurricane Without the Water

My little place gets very untidy very quickly. The five outfits I tried on last night before going out? They're currently on my bedroom floor. The shoes are, too. Plus the one I actually wound up wearing. This fills up the whole expanse of floor in there.

And my living room, same kind of thing. Eight pieces of mail and a backpack and several purses and a coat or two tossed aside makes it look like an utter disaster. I just don't have enough space to be untidy.

I deal with my dishes immediately, and I do laundry like there's no tomorrow. But the folding? Ugh. So things are clean but piled. When I bought this place, and Betty helped me figure out the best configuration for my furniture, we determined that I could either have a bedside cabinet or a chair. Not room for both.

So I opted for bedside cabinet. And my mom said without sarcasm, "Sweetheart, if you don't have a chair in your room, where are you going to put your clothes?"

And I hate to scrub my bathroom. I hate scrubbing the kitchen floor. I wish I were one of these people who clean compulsively. I read this post yesterday, and I thought about how neat and tidy my place could be. If I were more like that.

But I'm not. And so then I was thinking, hey, you know how sometimes on Craigslist a guy posts an ad offering to come over and clean your place for free? As long as he can do it naked? Nothing sexual, he just wants to clean.

Now, this is a fantasy I cannot relate to. My fantasies are more along the lines of let's have a gorgeous meal and fabulous wine and then make out in the gardens of the Villa Borghese. Or really, anywhere in Rome. Or why confine it to Rome? Anywhere in Italy. Or southern Europe. But I am getting off topic.

So back to the fictional Mr. Clean Naked, I generally think as long as you're not hurting anyone (unless of course that's what they want you to do) or doing anything with children or animals, people should do whatever they want.

But while the offer of someone cleaning for you for free is appealing, mostly I think, "Yikes, who wants some naked stranger in your house?"

But then sometimes, like today, I think, "But that naked stranger could make my bathroom sparkle! And I wonder if he does windows?"

Today, it seems very tempting.


  1. Wow... I think you just came upon a new business venture! Forget Merry Maids... How about Hairy Maids?!

  2. A maid cleans our house and it's a luxury I can no longer live without.

  3. G&D - Ooh, ick! Bad visual!

    HKW - I would absolutely love a maid.

  4. You hate scrubbing your bathroom, but how do you feel about scrubbing mine? I could totally go for that.

  5. What an interesting suggestion. You know, because I can't help thinking about bizarre things, I gave this some thought as I was running yesterday. And I came to the conclusion that I'd probably be willing to clean someone else's house in my underwear for $10,000. But not naked, and not less money.

  6. That's all well and good, but for the record I didn't say anything about you being in your underwear.

  7. ...but I like where your head's at.

  8. It occurs to me that since we're going to meet on Thursday, after that you won't be a stranger. So if you want to scrub MY bathroom next weekend, that would be really cool.

  9. Now I've got this very disturbing mental image of a nude Hans Moleman -- sporting his trademark coke-bottle eyeglasses and hanging an oscillating 10 -- moseying around a stranger's pad wielding an ornate feather duster...

  10. "I was saying Boo-urns"

  11. Yikes! I've gotta be more careful about what I put on the Internets.

    Who is Hans Moleman?

    What's "Boo-urns"?

  12. Courtesy of the Onion:

    Quote: "I was saying 'Boo-urns.'"

    Context: When the audience at the Springfield Film Festival boos Montgomery Burns' entry, Smithers reassures his boss that the crowd is actually chanting "Boo-urns." The audience then reiterates that no, they were actually booing, though Hans Moleman mutters that in his case, at least, Smithers was right

    ah, Simpsons quotes. gotta love it.

  13. and, im very tempted to search for this naked craigslist man since my apartment is currently also a disaster and i just can't be bothered to fix anything myself

  14. Moosie - Thank you so much for explaining that to me! I am so pop-culturally illiterate.

    And I am going to bet those naked cleaning men exist even in Syracuse. I wish wish wish you would, and then write a post on it! Or email me if you don't want to go public with the details.

  15. And Anon - thanks for the link. So glad I could put a cartoon picture to the name. Made it all the more bizarre!


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