I wonder if I'm getting too cavalier about the dating thing.
Once I get into this pattern of going on a lot of dates, I get incredibly blasé. I never get nervous. While I do generally try to look presentable and remember to put on makeup, I don't even necessarily bathe beforehand anymore.
I know that I used to get excited about dates. I definitely used to perform my ablutions, and fret about my outfit, and wear cute underwear. Not because I was planning to get naked, but you know, because it was kind of special.
Where am I going with this? I had a date last night. And as I was walking over to meet him, I realized I couldn't remember his name. Seriously. Steve? Dave? John? I was pretty certain it was along those lines but none of them. I was hoping it would come to me. It never did.
Laura happened to text as I was walking, and I texted back with my panic. She said, "Try Asmodious." Helpful. Thanks.
Fortunately, I could just walk up and say, "Hi! Nice to see you!" And all was fine.
But still. I felt like a boor. I was raised better than this.
We met at Russia House. He ordered pierogies because I declined a vodka cocktail, even though one of the best things I have ever had is their horseradish vodka, because I have finally learned that I can't quaff liquor pre-dinner without disastrous consequences. I even told him about drunk-dialing my mother as an example of this. I left out the butternose incident of the same evening.
I always feel slightly dangerous having cocktails at Russia House. As if I might be involved in some nefarious activity. I think this is why I like the place. Me, girl next door blonde bob first born rule-follower. When do I ever feel dangerous?
It was a gorgeous night, so we headed to Perry's roofdeck for sushi. You know August has practically emptied out DC when it's a nice evening and easy to get a seat on the roof of Perry's.
It was fun, and during dinner I forgot that I didn't know his name. He's very bright and interesting and fairly intense. All of which I like. He started a story involving him being told repeatedly that people get tired just watching him, because he moves and talks really fast and never sits still.
The point? "I've never met anyone who moves or talks faster than I do. Except you." He meant this as a compliment.
It's true. My default is fast. People always think I'm late or in a hurry, but the truth is, walking slowly bores me. It takes more physical (and emotional) effort for me to stroll than to walk quickly.
And I genuinely do talk ridiculously fast. My dad is always telling me he can't understand my phone messages. And I need to slow! down! But it takes a lot of concentration to talk slowly.
A couple years ago a friend of mine and I were out with a group of people, including a guy I was dating. He said he looked across the room at us, and we were talking and gesticulating so fast he was mesmerized.
He said, "You never once broke eye contact. And the rate of information exchange was just dizzying."
So. The eating of sushi hampers my rate of information exchange immensely. I'm certain I'm not remotely elegant as I sit there chewing a mouth over-full of rice and fish. But apparently I continue to gesticulate as rapidly as I would otherwise. Charming.
But back to my original point. I came home and looked at my last email from The Date. You know, so I could figure out his name.
Argh! What kind of churl gets treated to a nice dinner by a man whose name she cannot remember?
I do think it might be a sign.
Whatever, shortass, I can out-talk you.ReplyDelete
Hmm, I-66, I don't remember you being a fast talker. And you did NOT just call me shortass!ReplyDelete
Who needs names when you're moving and talking at such rapid pace?ReplyDelete
You eventually get used to not remembering anyone's name. After that, not caring is just a short, slippery slope away. I speak from personal experience here...ReplyDelete
Are you kidding? I get told to "slow down" on a regular basis. I've started adding random short pauses in my sentences to slow myself down. I was once told I missed my calling as an auctioneer.ReplyDelete
And yes, I called you shortass. What are you gonna do about it?! :)
HKW - Ha ha! You're so right!ReplyDelete
VVK - Yikes. That scares me.
I-66 - Wow - how did I miss that? Maybe you'd slowed it down a lot because I'm blonde or something.
I dunno. Maybe kick you in the shins at the next happy hour? Affectionately, of course.
Hahahaha...I'm glad I'm not the only one who forgets the names of dates!ReplyDelete
You might be better off trying to bite my ankles ;)ReplyDelete
afraid im guilty of not remembering a dates names on more than one occasion..thats why i just call EVERYONE sugarpie...ReplyDelete
Oh, don't you just HATE when that happens? I forget the names of the grooms I work with. It's sooooooo awful!ReplyDelete
what is this dating thing you peple are talking about? :)ReplyDelete
I would love to have the oppotunity to forget my dates name (been a slow summer) instead I guess I'll just settle for forgetting teh bartenders name!
Also maybe someone here can confirm but when you meet a girl in a bar (as I did tonight) and they keep telling you how "nice" you are that really is the dont call email or contact me in any way sign correct?
See him again!Just to find out his name;-?ReplyDelete
He seems great for you!
Jojo - Relief for me to hear I'm not the only one!ReplyDelete
I-66 - I'm ignoring you.
S_B - Ha ha! And I'm sure you get away with it no problem!
G&D - I really felt rude, even if he didn't know.
Pidomon - I don't know, don't really meet people in bars. But it seems to me a good thing if women are going out of their way to tell you how nice you are.
Marija - I know his name now. :) We'll see.
The good thing is, you've dated enough, to know that you could fake the name thing. Thankfully, you didn't run into anyone you knew to whom you'd have to introduce your date.ReplyDelete
That happens to me all the time with work. I've got to get better at remember names!
One day you are going to get swept off your feet! You'll know when you can't remember what you did on your date but only who it was with.ReplyDelete
DCup - That would've been terrible. If pressed, I've had said Steve. Which was so not his name.ReplyDelete
Riley - I can't even remotely imagine it, but that sounds lovely.
oh i totally know what you mean! i went out with a guy recently and i couldn't even remember where i met him. let alone what his name was or what he looked like.ReplyDelete
I learned the introduction trick at a wedding. There were lots of family members there who I hadn't seen in ages, and thusly didn't remember by name, or in some cases even by face. So this is how it would go down:ReplyDelete
Distant family: "I-66! Good to see you again, it's been so long!"
I-66: "I know! Too long, actually. (short inane babbling). Oh, I'd like you to meet [Date]."
Distant family: "Date, nice to meet you. I'm Distant family."
ok, russia house - i've never been there, but my friend was postulating that if the rumor of an underground casino near dupont circle were true, that russia house would be the best guess as its front restaurant.ReplyDelete
and i'm not the most gullible person in the world, but if the casino thing crazily happened to be true, i would SO want to know where it was - mafioso bar or no :)
H - I feel better. You have me beat by a mile.ReplyDelete
I-66 - Thanks for the tip. I would totally have blown it if I'd had to introduce him.
kate.d. - Ohhh, I could totally see that! That would be my best guess as well. Mystery and intrigue!