Monday, August 11, 2008

You just never know who knows who knows who and which path leads where

This might sound all advice-y, and I am sure that some of you might wonder who I think I am to give advice, considering all the ups and downs of my dating life. But it's more like a "life is random and you just never know."

Nick and I have four random connections to each other.

Not direct connections, but I can't help thinking that if the universe had lined up in a particular way one day or another, we could've met through four different people. It would be a stretch, I realize, and would've involved extreme coincidence - or fate - depending. I fall more on the coincidence side in life, while others believe in fate.

But anyway.

Person 1: A woman he works with used to date a friend of mine. I'd met her once before, a couple years ago. We see her at my social gatherings. And Nick's work functions.

Person 2: One of the guys he works and his wife both went to college with my high school friend Wendy. They're still very close friends. Wendy is the one who realized the connection.

Peson 3: Another colleague and his wife went to high school with Maude in New York. She and I were talking about where she grew up and I said I only knew one person who was there for a few years in high school, and she was all, "Maude! It was a big school, and we were friends!" What are the odds?

Person 4: And yesterday, I clicked on another high school friend's Facebook page, and left it open. Nick looked at my screen, and asked how I knew the guy. I said, "India." Turns out Nick went to college with his older brother.

While I love the whole less than six degrees of separation-ness of it, it also make me think about the world this way. Because it's not so long ago that I was single and looking. And so here's what I'd like to remind people who are.

You never know which paths will lead you to your One of 26 (or however many).

I don't think it's a bad thing to let people know you're single. Not desperately, introduce-me-to-anyone single. But hoping-to-meet-someone-great single. Because you never know who will run into who after all these years, or whose cousin or college roommate will be in town for the weekend, or what.

I'm not saying that singledom isn't good, or that one should spend every moment trying to attain couplehood, rather than just enjoying life. But what I am saying is, if you're anything like me, finding the person is a priority.

And you just never know who knows who knows who, who might just suit you really well.


  1. Wow! Amazing list of connections. The universe is so big and small at the same time.

    My husband Luke grew up in NC but was born in the city in Texas where he and I met and went to college. My parents have since moved to the same town and their house is less than a mile from where Luke was born.

  2. This is good advice. I think it is hard to say to people"yes, finding someone is a priority." This is only a place I have come around to somewhat recently, but it is scary. and I fear looking don't want anyone to think you will just cling on to anyone, anything for dear life. But yes, it is smart to let people know you are looking.

  3. You know, cousin-of-sorts met her now-husband through But as it happens, they had friends in common. Had been to the same parties, but either not for the same portion of the evening, or had just not been introduced.

    I like to think that the universe has a way of making sure the people who are REALLY supposed to meet, do. When my friend and her husband (seemingly) stubbornly refused to take advantage of the billion coincidences the universe had arranged, the universe turned to and made it happen.

  4. I may also be the only person I know who likes to think of the universe as a grumbling, underappreciated, but good-natured housekeeper with a heart of gold.

  5. I'm surprised over and over again how small this world is. On my first day of school in North Carolina, I chatted with a girl waiting at the same busstop. Turns out her grandmother lived in the nursing home in my (small) hometown in Massachusetts, where I had volunteered, and remembered her gramma. CRAZY.....

  6. According to this article from the post ( we are all connected by precisely 6.6 degrees of separation.

  7. According to this article from the post ( we are all connected by precisely 6.6 degrees of separation.

  8. I've been wanting to tell you for some time now - Nick's my FATHER.

    Is it okay if I call you Mommy?

  9. I am big into the coincidence of everything too. And this? is all rather comforting.

  10. OK, this really annoys me. I wrote reply comments yesterday, and really thought abou them, and now, not here! Where do these things go?


    HKW - I absolutely love these coincidence stories!

    Lemmonex - It is definitely scary, but also powerful, I think. Who doesn't want love? Very few of us.

    Dagny - That is serious coincidence/fate at work. Like, meet, ferfuckssake, meet already! Fall in love! Meet! I like the good natured, grumbling housekeeper image.

    LivitLuvit - Those kinds of things are just too coincidency. What are the odds? Nursing home + going to college at the same place + waiting for the same bus. Yes, crazy.

    Restaurant Refugee - It's proof! Six degrees is almost exactly right!

    FreckledK - WOW! THAT is a serious coincidence. It would certainly take the pressure off in terms of rushing to have kids.

  11. Nicole - I think it is. It all works out, just maybe not in the way one is looking for or expecting.

  12. I love how facebook makes me realize how many people I never knew had any way of knowing each other, yet they do! Every time I like the its a small world after all feeling.

  13. That's quite strange! I say I'd take it as just another sign that you two are meant to be together. :)

  14. What a great post! I couldn't agree more. Personally, I'm at a point in my life where I would like to meet someone but it isn't priority. I would rather meets lots and lots of people and everyone hang out and do fun things. In the end who knows who you will meet, right?

  15. This is a great post. I should probably take that advice too.

  16. hey! This is remarkably like the plot of "Next Stop Wonderland". You should rent it and watch it with your fiance.


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