Thursday, January 17, 2013

My world is very narrow, you must understand

I don't know how you feel about animal prints but I pretty much love them and would wear them daily if I had more of them. And a daily-animal-print kind of lifestyle.

Although I'm not precisely sure what that lifestyle might look like...

But! I am seriously considering dressing myself in animal prints of one kind and another from head to toe one day and then seeing how people react.Like maybe these pants with my horse T-shirt, my leopard jacket, a scarf with birds. I haven't yet worked it out, but something along those lines.

My world is small. I told you. If you don't believe me, see photographic evidence below.

In any case, the other day I chanced across this pair of $15 animal pants at Ann Taylor Loft. They had one pair, my size, calling my name.

They are velvety and stretchy and feel basically like I think it would feel to wear a couch. But not in a cumbersome boy is my ass heavy today kind way. More in a sit back and watch TV and drink wine and maybe watch Downton kind of way.

Now, last night I had just put India to bed and was walking upstairs to get Jordan, who was hanging out with Nana. As I put one foot in front of the other, I realized that perhaps I should document the combination of rrraaawwwrrr pants and happy rainbow tootsies, which had been hidden in my boots all day.

So I did.
And then I thought, hmm, maybe my feet wouldn't look so weirdly far away if I sat down and stuck out my legs?

So I did.
Now, at this precise moment, Jordan happened down the stairs - on his way to get a gasoline truck, it turned out.

And because he is three, he wasn't all, "What the fuck are you doing?"


Instead, he immediately started waving his arms, saying, "Don't come up to get me! I'm not hungry! Go down to the kitchen!"

Because, you see, he had quite a parking garage going on Nana's bed, and was getting a couple more trucks to round it out. Once I assured him that in fact, I was interested in joining rather than ripping him from the carnival of  automotive fun he'd created, we were all good.

And then, once I'd cozied up on the bed, I took another picture of my pants and feet. Because really why not at this point?

This one is my favorite.
Then Betty complimented my pants, and Jordan suddenly noticed, and chimed in, "Oh, Mama, I like your pants! And your socks!" He and I are both big fans of stripes.

Aaaand to break up the pants and socks monotony, here's an action shot of Jordan in the background. I was about to say that I'm airing dirty laundry with this one, but in fact the sweaters on the radiator are clean.
Finally, here's my little benevolent dictator, in the middle of shoveling in avocado and papaya. She'll get all weary and drag her hand across her face, all, "Dear Lord, the world is too much with me. As is the mashed vegetable."

I like how she's pretty precisely avocadoed in one eyebrow.


  1. This is my favorite LG post e-vah! The photos, "rrraaawwwrrr pants", witty and hilarious lines - love, love, love.

    The best line: "And because he is three, he wasn't all, 'What the fuck are you doing?'"

    Classic, really! You can rock the animal print, you're gorgeous in it (and always. I recall your animal print coat with the black dress and gloves - so chic). Do bring back the dino-mite hat for the debut of the animal print outfit.

    1. I love you I love you! Thank you so much, not only for your positive comments, but for reminding me of the dino-mite hat! I was lamenting the fact that I don't have an animal hat. But I DO!!!

  2. My favorite photo is definitely the legs strangely floating over the stairs. It looks like an optical illusion of some sort. And I love that "I am not amused" look India has in that picture. She's all, "Yeah I've got food all over my face. What of it?"

  3. The first picture definitely shows off the socks better but the last one gives looks like it provides a more clear picture of the pants, I think. And they almost look kind of furry. Man, I'd love to live at your house! It looks like a riot! And who could resist the "dictator." Love your posts!

  4. Ah! Hahaha! When I saw the link to this entry on facebook yesterday (I think it was yesterday? some time before now) I thought the first stairs picture was the bed picture from the day before, but with a sunset beach photoshopped into the background. Hee!

    Also, I'd forgotten your hair used to be that short. I love that shorty short hair on you. Way cute.

    You make me want to get back to posting. Thank you for the inspiration!

  5. Hilarious!

    Those pants are fantastic, as are the socks.

    But the writing here? Perfect comedy.


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