Friday, June 29, 2007

I would have chewed my face off but I'm going out to dinner tonight

I was on a conference call this morning that seriously made me want to chew my face off.

Sometimes you just have to sit and listen when what you want to do is scream. Or, more constructively, hang up so you can do your own work. Because otherwise you sit, while the very challenged person on the call, who is somehow tangentially related to your organization, who you have had to work with before but only met once in person, takes up everyone else's time to get her needs met.

Like, how to log in to the presentation in the first place. This took 15 minutes. And then how to do very rudimentary things. Challenged woman: "Excuse me, John, but what if I want to copy and paste?"

Fortunately there is IM. So Maricel and I kept a running commentary as this went on. "Excuse me, John, but what if I want to draw a puppy?"

The thing is, if she were nice, I would cut her some slack. But if I were in a decision making position, I would never, ever work with her. Because not only is she remarkably unpleasant, she's inept.

Another of my colleagues and I were IMing. I said that beyond wanting to chew my face off, I wanted to do her bodily harm. He said, "Yeah, she's a bitch, and there are a lot of people who'd like to hurt her."

To which I responded, "And a nitwit."

And so we went back and forth combining them. Bitchwit. Bitchnit (which I like for the baby lice image it conjures up). And, finally, bitchtit.


  1. There's a word for people that ask annoying questions like that. In law school, we called them askholes.

  2. Seriously, I wouldn't mind except that she's really an unpleasant human to work with.

  3. Bitchtwit?

    Also have to be grateful for phone mute, so when you're chuckling over the IM witticisms, nobody has to wonder what's wrong with you. At least, no more than they already do.

  4. How exactly does one chew ones own face off?

    The mental image of you trying to bite your own face made me laugh out loud.

  5. WiB - Yes, thank goodness for mute. Re: what's wrong with me, most work people don't know I have a blog, so don't know how I really think. So they might actually believe I'm a relatively normal human being.

    I-66. Nitwich. OK. But what's the definition of bitchtit?

    Jo - Ha ha - I'm glad! I don't know. It made me laugh too, when I actually stopped to think about it.

  6. It's a synonym for man boobs.

  7. Thanks for the new name for my blog!

  8. While I certainly understand your unfortunate scenario, and sympathize with you whole-heartedly I can't help but wonder how one goes about gnawing off one's own face. I've heard of chewing off one's leg to get out of a trap,and I once had to sever my own arm to get out of a woman's apartment before she awoke, but I'm still not sure how to dispose of my own face if it becomes needed.

    I will use "bitchwit" though. I think I know a few. Thank you for a new colloquialism.

  9. Managerially speaking, I find it much harder to deal with the inept-but-nice than the inept-and-a-jerk.

    Here via the Hygiene Chronicles.

  10. DCup - I like the current name.

    2X4 - I know - it makes no sense. I've given this some further thought and even had some conversations about it. A friend suggested you'd have to start with the inside of your cheek and work out. Gruesome.

    R|C - Hey, that's awesome! I'll have to thank Steve!

    I hadn't thought about it from a boss's perspective - that's interesting.


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