Thursday, June 28, 2007

I'm really not sure how to think about this

This is one of my rare NP posts. As in No Parents. If you are a parents who is related to me, as in mine, you probably want to just stop reading. It's not that it's risquee - it'll just make you unhappy.

The last time I rated a post NP, my dad did stopped reading immediately. Betty forged ahead. And made herself unhappy. At the end of the day, all you can do is warn your parents.

So. My dreams are always chaotic, convoluted, confusing. How's that for alliteration? But it's true.

The other night I dreamt I was in a hotel. There were lots of people I know or have known in various places and parts of my life. It didn't make sense that we were all together, or in a hotel, but my dreams always have nonsensical components, and I had a vague sense that I was dreaming, so I didn't question it.

There was this guy who kept following me around. Someone I made up for this dream. He was unattractive - both physically and personality-wise.

Sometimes you meet someone and you don't think they're physically attractive, but there's something that really gets you. Their self-confidence, their sense of humor, something. And that draws you in and makes you really attracted to them. Not with this guy. He was just some annoying guy pestering me.

And he really, really wanted to have sex with me. And just kept following me around. So finally I said, fine, let's just get it over with. Fine.

You know how, when you've been in a relationship for a long, long time, every once in a while you just sort of have sex only because the other person really, really wants to? You're tired, or cranky, or, even though you love them, just not finding them all that attractive on that particular day, and you'd rather not. But sometimes it's just easier, kinder, whateverer to say yes. And sometimes you do, and not gracefully - you're more like, oh, let''s just do it already and get it over with.

Or maybe this is just me. Anyway. That's how this was. Except that he was a complete stranger. Fine. Just get it over with.

And so there we were, about to have sex. And he wanted to spread a blue and yellow striped beach towel across me and hold me down with it. Which seemed weird, but whatever. Fine.

But then, then he pulled out two umbrellas, opened them, and handed me one. What he wanted was for us each to hold an open umbrella during the sex.

And that for me was the final straw. No. Absolutely not.

Somehow, in this dream, I was OK with the sex with the irritating stranger. I was OK with the beach towel. But the umbrellas? Balancing open umbrellas? No. That was just asking too much.



  1. You're not alone in the having sex because the other person wants to point. I've done that a few times.

    Also, the umbrella thing is kinda sketchy. Perhaps you said no in your dream because you thought he'd ask for something even stranger next.

  2. (Hi, Betty)
    Not so bad on the Mom-meter, I'm guessing except that it does connect you with sex which can be freaky for a parent AND you imply that you've had sex before which is probably not a huge surprise for your mother.

    And even the detail about giving in to sex to basically shut the other person up or make them stop asking for a while, well, that's a little more disturbing for a mother, I'm sure, but not out of the realm of reality for anyone who's been around awhile.

    But the combination of stranger, beach towel and umbrellas? You know she's wondering (a) where did she go wrong? or (b) what did you eat before you went to bed last night?

  3. MM - Definitely very sketchy, the whole thing.

    DCup - I am hoping she doesn't read this one. She won't like it - the beach towel and umbrellas will definitely freak her out.

  4. OMG, Lis, thank you!!! I feel so non-weird with some of my dreams now, LOL!

    I could go into my shrink analysis of your umbrella/beach towel thing, but I'm not sure I even subscribe to that dream analysis crap. Suffice it to say that I wouldn't have had sex with him either. ;)

  5. Wait... are you implying that umbrellas aren't sex toys?

  6. AF - Ha ha! My pleaseure - glad to make you feel better about the weirdness of your dreams! :) I have no idea if I believe in dream analysis or not. I think it's interesting, though.

    VVK - Oh, no! Now you know how pedestrian my proclivities actually are.

  7. Yeah, you're a little weird in your dreams... and yet, it seems still totally you. :)

    (That is a total compliment, btw)

  8. Thanks. :) And let me just quote YOU verbatim and say, "I hate it when coworkers are naked in my dreams."

  9. What have you got against umbrella sex!? Jeez.

  10. For once, I'm at a loss. That was one weird dream.

  11. Freud said that you are everyone in your dream. So, if that's true then, in your dream you wanted to masturbate with weird impliments, then ultimately rejected yourself because you were too weird. Now THAT'S weird.

    Freud also said that women smoke because they wish they had a penis. I know this is true because I once saw a lady smoking and I asked her if she wished she had a penis, and she said yes. Weird huh?

  12. INPY - I think I'm just uptight.

    G&D - I know. So freakin weird. I don't know what this is about.

    HIN - Hmm. I dunno. What I do know is that sometimes I think it would be great to have a penis. I'd love to be able to pee my name in the snow.

  13. Weird. I had the EXACT same dream, except I was one of the umbrellas.

    WTF does THAT mean?

    You write really well, by the way... I just might have to read this here blog more often.


  14. R|C - Ha ha! I have nooo idea.

    And thank you for the lovely compliment! Please do!


Tell me about it.