Monday, May 26, 2008

The math got complicated, so let me just say we're more than half full

We had dinner with my parents and the son of old family friends and his girlfriend the other night. They're more like family than friends, actually.

So after we left, he grilled my dad about Nick. He'd done the same thing to me when I told him. It's very fast - is this too fast? How well do you actually know him? Is he good enough for Lisa? Is he acting like he's all fantastic and will he only show his real colors after the wedding?

He was very supportive, but suspicious. Why so fast?

Nobody had done this to me. He was worried he was overstepping his bounds, but the truth is, I appreciated the loving concern. He's behaving like the older brother I've never had.

But honestly, it's all been like living in dog years. It's never felt fast.

A couple weeks ago - the night of the Bell's dinner, when I told those guys they should go ahead and sleep around - we hit our six month anniversary. I couldn't actually say it without giggling. I spent the whole day telling people. And giggling.

"Today is our six-month anniversary. Hee hee hee."

The people who know me best saw the hilarity of it, laughed along with me. Six months! And look where we are!

Six months. And we'd been engaged for more than half of them.

Once we got engaged, we were wishing the weeks would go by faster. So we wouldn't look quite as foolish, like we'd jumped in too fast.

I can't remember if I told you this, but when we got engaged I told a good friend of mine that I was worried about everyone saying it was too fast.

And she said, "People will definitely say that. Just not to your face."

Somehow, that made it better.

We met on a Tuesday, and so every Tuesday I'd say, "We've hit a week point."

Of course it sounds like "weak point" and the first couple times Nick got all concerned. But after that, he was pointing out the Tuesdays along with me.

There was a Pit of Three Months: We felt like we were stuck in three months forever. It's not like the Pit of Despair, but time felt as if it stopped at month three. It was slogging through quicksand to get out of the three month place. Absolutely interminable.

We weren't having a bad time. We were just tired of saying, "Three months," when people asked us how long we'd been together.

The Tuesday of Week 13 we did a little out of three months! dance. "Four months!" We could start saying four months!

And then after that, time just went, and people were used to the idea of us being engaged, and we got used to it.

We realized the Bell's dinner coincided nicely with our six month anniversary, and both felt like a good reason to splurge.

And so now the balance, I think, has tipped. We're past six months, which is a reasonable time frame in which to get engaged. Not that it's not fast, but, at least at our age, almost nobody thinks it's a big hurry hurry.

Then the other day Nick said, "Hey! We're now closer to getting married than we are to meeting."



  1. Interesting. We knew at three months too, but we didn't tell anyone. It was fun having a secret that big, but I was so unaccustomed to having to keep such a big secret. It had to be a secret that there *was* a secret!

    I just keep getting more excited for you guys. Glad you didn't keep your news a secret.

  2. I get more excited for yall too with each post here. It's not too fast, it's love! Happy 6 month anniversary :)

  3. it's funny to read this because it actually reminds me of my pregnancy. you wait and wait til the baby and the belly grows and people ask you: how far along are you? and you count the weeks, wait to be able to say three months (which is usually the big month when you really start telling people, know how you feel stuck in month three) and then you count the weeks until month four, maybe the first kick or so, a new detail on the's really similar to your situation now because you and Nick have this little "baby" of your own, a relationship and soon to be marriage that needs nourishing and love, patience and attention... there is a saying in german: am ende wird alles gut which translates to: everything will be good in the end. good luck to you and all the best, happy anniversary. nina

  4. A.S - I love that! And I love that part of the secret was that there was a secret. Somehow it seems very Borjes or something.

    HKW - Thank you, my friend! :) We keep getting more excited too!

    Nina - Ohh, I love your analogy. It feels exactly like that - the waiting and waiting and wishing and nurturing. Thank you so much!

  5. Well, considering the bump in the road my marriage has just endured (and hopefully will recover from), I hate to bring this up, there there is an upside to this.

    We met in October. We got engaged in January. We were married in August. We were 22 and 23 years old and still in college. Three kids, a couple of careers, two more degrees, a bankruptcy, three moves and one separation later, we're still together. Twenty years.

    Of course this is all anecdotal, but sometimes when you meet "that person" you just know it.

    I wish you all the happiness in the world. Enjoy the ride. I think Nick will be a great partner in this thing called life.

    P.S. I'm okay. I'm working with someone on those issues.

  6. yay to being closer to getting married than meeting!!!

    and pfft to being too fast. my parents got engaged after 2 weeks and their 30th wedding anniversary is in august. sometimes you just know!

  7. Walker told me that we could have made the decision to get married the first night we met and nothing would really be all that different.

    And my parents got engaged in under three months, married in six! They are going on ... what? 41 years or something...I can't keep track. But it's a long time!

    I agree, when you know, you know...especially when you get to the point where you know YOURSELF enough to know.

  8. And before you know it, you'll be telling them that you've been married for almost ten years. The young ones will look at you in amazement and proclaim that that is an eternity, and the old ones will smile and pat you on the head like you're still a newlywed.

  9. My parents were married after 5 months of dating (married, not engaged). They're celebrating their 33rd pretty soon.

    On the day my dad met my mom, he told my grandmother he was going to marry her. She replied that my mom was much too smart to do that.

    Best wishes to you and Nick both!


  10. My parents met once while at a mutual friends (quick introduction then they went seperate ways), then a couple of years later my dad ran into the friend and said "hey what's up with that cool friend of yours? She dating anyone?" they were reintroduced- 2 months later engaged and married 2 months after that. Still married 35 years later:)

  11. you are just too cute. congrats!

  12. DCup - Your marriage will survive this bump and be even stronger. You guys are great together. And considering how young you were and all the ups and downs, it's really extraordinary.

    mrsmac - Two weeks! 30 years! That is awesome. I love that!

    Janie - I think that's true, honestly. You and Walker just clicked from the start. And your parents are so great together.

    Amisare - Holy cow - I haven't thought that far ahead. That is a wild thought!

    Tacoma - I love stories like this. 35 years! Yay! Thank you for sharing.

    Mood Indigo - Thanks. :)


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