Sunday, August 16, 2009

Candy, Candy, Candy I can't let you go

I'm still pregnant.

Friends keep calling, emailing, texting. And I have to be all, nope. Nothing.

It's very anticlimactic.

But like every day lately, maybe today will be the day?

What I just this moment realized I don't know - and maybe you do? - is this. Is it that the kid triggers my body to go into labor? Like, he produces some hormone that causes me to react? Or is it my body that just decides it's time?

Because of course I have been putting all the blame on him until I typed the words above.

Also, what I forgot to mention to you about all the testing last week was this. With all the detailed ultrasoundy measurements they proffered a size estimate.

8 lbs, 6 ounces. Give or take 20 ounces.

Apparently it's impossible to predict accurately, but they plug all these numbers in and get a calculation, with the understanding that there's a wide margin of error.

So. That means as of last Thursday, even if you minus 20 ounces, he was still, what, like 7 pounds?? And 10, if you add the 20?


And every goddamn day, he's just packing it on.

The truth is, I've tried to be all sweet and loving and, "Oh, sweetheart, it' so pretty and sunny! You're going to love it on the outside! Today would be a great day to be born!"

But you know me. I don't always succeed.

This morning, Nick was cuddling me, with his hand under my stomach, feeling the boy all tap-tap-tapping on his hand.

"It really is miraculous, isn't it, Lis? You're doing something completely magical."

And it is true. Growing a whole human being inside your body is kind of crazy magic.

Thinking about it made me breathless. I teared up. It is just so amazing.

But then I got my breath back and said, "Yes. And now it's time for the little 7-10 pound fucker to get out."


  1. yes, magic. yes, get out. vacate. leave. :)

  2. Thank you for the reinforcement! I just read that to him in a stern tone.:)

  3. I think we are all nervous and excited for you out here in blog land. I checked your blog half a dozen times yesterday, and cursed cause it's a weekend. Can you just pop on when you leave to deliver so we can all be thinking good thoughts, no pain thoughts, why did she marry that big guy thoughts right along with you (sorry Nick)

  4. Keep trying to stay positive! Just think -- this is probably the last weekend EVER that you'll be childless! Isn't that amazing to think about?

    Anyway, bounce around on an exercise ball, if you have one, and try your best to keep your mind off it. It won't be long!

  5. It is totally magical. Jason and I were talking about the Joey the other day and both of us got all misty, thinking about this new little monkey we're going to have in our family.

    Now I'm going to give you some unsolicited advice, and you're certainly free to tell me to piss off and mind my own business.

    I know you wanted to wait a little longer to induce, but 8#6 is a big baby for a person your size. You and I are about the same stature/frame, and Zeke was 8#9 and made for an incredibly painful, difficult labor. I would get him out sooner rather than later. Just sayin'. xoxoxo

  6. Lynn - Thank you for being so excited for me and checking in! I will totally post, or have someone do it for me, when we are heading in the labor direction.

    Luna - THAT is pretty wild to think about, actually. I do need to focus more positively and not slip into the uncomfortable bitters!

    I don't have a ball, but I just took a long long long walk.

    Wendy - I know - it's just HUGE. It hits me every once in a while how incredible it is.

    As for the advice - I see my OB tomorrow morning and I've been thinking about talking about it. Everything has gotten kind of brutal, even without worrying about getting someone of his potential size out.

  7. I'm a long time reader and occasional commenter. I was surprised to see you did an entry today and expected you to say you were on your way to the hospital. I don't have children, but know plenty that do (and a few prego ones right now). To me you look like a tiny woman and maybe sooner is better than later.
    Anyway, can't wait 'til Jackson (that's a great J name, by the way) is born and you can celebrate his birthday! Best of luck to you and Nick.

  8. Thank you for the update, Lisa! We're on pins and needles out here...
    hang in there! Hugs!

  9. I seriously can't wait to see him! I really hope you shoot us a quick note to let us know you're in labor!

  10. I personally have never been pregnant, so I know everything I say is worth nothing, but I'm going to say it anyway ;-)

    A friend of mine is a tiny, TINY person. Who had big, BIG babies. She had pretty easy deliveries (as easy as labor and delivery can be). The middle one was the biggest, over 9 lbs and born on the 4th of July. She went to the family cookout, left when she felt it was time to go to the hospital, and a couple hours later, two pushes and her daughter is here. I tend to think big babies have the whole weight+gravity thing working for them!

  11. I want to "weigh in" with my tiny woman/big baby son was close to 9 and I was pretty tiny (notice I say was) and people started warning better induce now! I held out (with my DR's approval) and he and I did just fine! Checking the blog excited for all of you!

  12. I love it when you get your breath back.

  13. Totally miraculous! Definitely proof in my mind that there is a higher power. Probably a woman :-)

    Hope he vacates soon!

  14. I have been checking my reader several times a day this weekend waiting for an update - because I am certain that when the miracle of life finally completes this phase, updating all of us will be the first thing on your mind.

  15. i recommend a steady diet of grilled cheese sandwiches, tomato soup and utz crab chips... worked for 5 out of 6 pregnant friends!

  16. It is totally crazy magic!!!!!!!! And it could be any minute. How about NOW? (Did that work?)

  17. I'm hoping that as i write this, you are huffing and puffing and pushing that baby out so you can finally meet him!

    Otherwise, I will continue to try not to obsessively check for new posts from you.

  18. You asked an interesting question nobody here including me knows the answer to - is it the baby or the mother who instigates? Must be the baby though, 'cause other waise you would've had him by now!
    BTW, I'm 5'2" and my 10 monther was 11 lbs. 3 oz. The labour was long, but pushing him out felt fine - actually, it felt great. Crazy magic indeed. I never felt such a creative feeling before...can't really explain it in words.
    Every morning I wake up and think: did she have it? It's amazing to me, that I think of you, a person on the internet, like this!
    Pullin/prayin' for ya!

  19. Anonymous - I love the name Jackson (and Jack) but it always makes me think of this...Did you ever see Auntie Mame? There's one part where she's dating a man named Beauregard Jackson Pickett Burnside.

    A.S. - You are so sweet! Will keep you updated!

    Miss Dallas - I will, I totally will.

    Lisa - I am happy for input. And I've never been preg before, so it's not like I know what's coming! I appreciate hearing the positive.

    kayare - That makes me feel much much better. It's scary, you know?

    Susan - Big virtual hug to you!

    mrsmac - Yah, probably. And me too, me too!

    restaurant refugee - I will totally update or ask someone to - you all have been so kindly along for the ride!

    aimee - Hmm. That's one thing I've not tried.

    Jules - It didn't, but that doesn't mean you're not magic.

    Liiiiiisa - I am not! I'm about to watch the new season of Madmen and try not to think about my sore tummy skin!

  20. I like this theory that the bigger ones have gravity on their side when they're ready to come out.

    But seriously. What if it's so much easier because he's ready, and is therefore more helpful? And then you have a lovely, unrealistic expectation to hold him to for the rest of his life?

    "You stayed an extra four days! You should take out the garbage without my having to ask!"

  21. C'mon baby - time to leave now.

  22. The whole miracle thing. That's why I loved being pregnant. I'm no religious nut or anything, but I really believe that making a baby is about as close to a miracle as I'll ever get.

    Here's hoping your little miracle gets the hell out soon!

  23. Maybe he just likes it in there? But for your sake, I hope he vacates ASAP!

  24. It actually is the baby. In a normal, healthy, uncomplicated pregnancy, when the baby's lungs and other bits (but mostly lungs) have fully matured enough to handle life outside the womb, they do exactly what you suspected: release a hormone or an enzyme which tells the mother's body, "okay, it's time now!" and the mom begins to go into labor. At least, that's what I've read somewhere on teh Internetz.


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