Tuesday, August 02, 2011

If this doesn't offend you in one way, it probably will in another

So, yesterday I got this email from a friend asking for advice.

I'll call her Molly.

She's about to head to Asia for three conferences during which she will be working with local counterparts, and she wanted to know what I thought about the following: "I’m still pondering whether it’s completely rude to tell them I don’t eat dog when I answer their question about dietary restrictions. You’re a woman of the world…what do you think? It’s Taiwan."

To which I could only say, "Yikes! I have no idea."

When I lived in this little village in Ecuador, I made sure everyone knew I was a vegetarian. Because I just couldn't handle eating guinea pig (an expensive delicacy) or blood pudding, or tripe or various and sundry organs.

I say I'll try anything once, but weird meat is a grand exception.

So I told her this knowing it's not an option for her. Molly is vegetable-averse. She practically subsists on beef.

And so she said: "That’s it. I’m bringing crackers. One guy keeps threatening me with puppy milkshakes."

So then I thought, oh, he must be one-upped! "Make him cupcakes iced with dog poo!"

This idea delighted her. She pointed out, however, that she'd have to check it and it would likely get smushed. Because you simply cannot carry a dog-poo cupcake on the plane.

And then, we wondered, does TSA even allow feces on planes? What if it's under three ounces?

She's considering just making them there. Fresh is best, after all.


  1. Do Taiwanese people eat dog? I wonder.

    So when we were in Ethiopia a few years ago, our hosts kept trying to convince us to try kitfo, which is basically raw, marinated beef that's been sitting in the sun all day. I would much prefer fully-cooked dog, wouldn't you?

    I wonder if attempting to carry feces through security would be an effective protest against the TSA. I mean, except for the fact that you'd have to a) poop in a bag and b) carry it around with you all day.

  2. I have confirmed that they do indeed eat dog in Taiwan, but I've also been assured that I have nothing to worry about. But, just to be clear, I wasn't planning on using my OWN poop for the cupcakes...only dog poop.

  3. I think I'd be packing Tums instead of poo. Gag. The meat in the sun? Don't they die from this??? She could make that cupcake fake and use some very smelly cheese mixed with brown frosting :-) Please report back Molly on what you ate and umm well, if you lived. Safe Travels.

  4. I totally understand that it makes no sense, but I have a dog that I love more than my husband. I don't have a cow. I tried becoming a vegetarian, and it didn't end well due to my extremely odd and severe dislike of vegetables.

  5. Carolyn - According to Wikipedia, it has been outlawed in Taiwan but people still do.

    So, that's a very difficult and hideous choice. I think I'm going to go with the raw beef, though.

    Also, I wonder if anyone wakes up with the urge to poop in a bag and carry it around all day? Someone must.

    Molly - The Internet has verified that you are right. And I knew you were talking about dog poop.

    Lynn - I bet the marinade has lots of salt to preserve it. But I also bet some people do die. Depends on the bacteria, I suppose.

    I like your cupcake creativity. :)

    frugalveganmom - I'm with Molly below - it makes no sense but it makes an entire world of difference to me. I have no attachment to a chicken/pig/lamb so I don't get upset, although I don't eat lamb because it grosses me out. But if I were attached to a particular animal, then there's no way I could eat it.

  6. If I had a husband I might like my dogs more than him, I pretty much like my dogs more than most people so it wouldnt be hard.
    I enjoy eating most standard types of meat except beef dont like the taste much, however I wouldnt eat dog or ginea pig because I have had pet gineas and currently have two jack russell dogs who are adorable bundles or energy and mischief.

  7. Well, I can be a bit of a weird one, I'll admit, but I think I would try guinea pig, probably tastes like rabbit. I'm curious about deep-fried crickets, but I think pretty much anything tastes good deep fried. I wouldn't eat dog or cat, but I think it's mostly a question of personal taste. I've given up pork because pigs are smarter than dogs, and I prefer my meat humanely slaughtered. Mostly, I can understand that when you have a large population to feed, EVERYTHING is food.

  8. --I don't think I'd want to know. Serious. No Way would I want to eat Puppy. :(

  9. Um, as a fellow Taiwanese, I can assure you that dog-eating is actually quite illegal in Taiwan. I've never eaten dog, and that idea pretty much grosses out all my friends who are also Taiwanese.

  10. Oh, I just saw that what I just told you have already been revealed to you by wikipedia. :) Yes, some people still do it, the way people murder anywhere despite the law.

    And I think it does make sense for people to feel squeamish eating one animal over another, despite the common denominator of life and feelings. It prevents us from eating another human, no matter how annoying while alive.


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