Monday, December 12, 2011

Things you do for a discount on your caulk

I got an email last week that a Living Social coupon for Logan Hardware was about to expire.

It gave the option to email it as a gift, so I emailed it to Nick. Not to be all stereotypical, but he adores hardware stores. Somehow he can always use things like more caulk.

I joke about the caulk at work, but in this case I'm not even kidding.

He bought four tubes. He brought it home and immediately went outside and caulked the shit out of the holes in our house.

Anyway, he said he was in line and these two guys behind him were totally flirting and making inane conversation. One of them needed a hex key, and the other guy said he had one for him. And then the first guy said he needed a special size, and the other responded he had his special size...

You get the picture.

So Nick was standing there thinking, "Idiots."

And then he realized that the guy in front of him was looking down at his felt slipper-clogs, and kind of looked Nick up and down and gave him a, "you idiot" look.

"So basically," he said, "there we all were judging each other, thinking we each the only non-idiot in line with a bunch of imbeciles."

Anyway, he got to the register and presented his coupon, and the woman said, "You're Nick Lastname. This coupon is for Lisa Gloria."

He said, "Lisa Gloria is my wife."

The woman just looked at him. So he started thinking about how to prove it.

He took off his wedding ring and showed her the inside, which reads: LG + NL September 27, 2008.

So then she said, "Oh, you just had your third anniversary! Congratulations!" And then she looked at his hand and added, "And you wear your ring all the time! So sweet!"

And he knew that everyone in line behind him was just rolling their eyes, all, "Get over it, you idiots, and move on."

Coupon success, however. And our house is well caulked. At a discount.


  1. Funny story! I like Nick's enthusiasm for, er, caulk and that less holes in your house will keep all of you warm and cozy.

    I'm going to be a brat and say that I don't get the picture....because I want a LG drawing with a hex key and felt slipper-clogs set in a hardware store :)

  2. lol as soon as I read the title of this blog I recalled your previous caulking blog and it so cracked me up I just had to go back and look at your penis window decorations drawings :-)

  3. I think that people who make jokes about special-sized hex keys are probably the bigger imbeciles, because they clearly lost the ones that came in the original Ikea packaging (I just might know about this from recent personal experience), and maybe they should step aside and let the adult with real furniture buy his caulk, regardless of how misguided his footwear choices may be.

    Caulk's important stuff.

  4. I love that the ring engraving, meant to be a precious reminder of a momentous day in your lives, was used to save money on caulk. If Nick's anything like my husband, he will think that is the most useful thing he's ever done with his wedding ring.


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