Thursday, January 20, 2011

Romance. Or, for whom the familiarity tolls

There is something pretty extraordinary about knowing that someone loves you enough and is committed enough to you and to the idea of your relationship to weather the ups and downs.

This came as a big surprise to me, since so many of my relationships were so precarious.

Familiarity, however, takes a toll on romance. Romance, in my opinion, necessitates a little mystery.

So the other day Nick said we should go out for a romantic date.

And I asked if he thought we still had romance.

He was surprised. "Do you think we lack romance?"

"Don't you?"

"Well, do you think romance is dead in our relationship?"

I guess I just assumed that once someone has looked your hemorrhoids full on in the, uh, whatever, you just have to figure that they love you completely, but that romance has gone straight out the window.

Fortunately, he seems to have gotten past that little episode.


  1. Oh god. I can't wait.

    The romance died fairly early for us, I think. Right about the time he held my hair back as I puked so hard vomit came out my nose.

  2. Don't forget you are an International Woman of Mystery! You and Nick are so sweet - your love story is so unique and beautiful.

  3. Selective memory is, in fact, wonderful at times. Maybe not all the time, but this is definitely one of those times.

  4. Eye, he looked your hemorrhoids straight in the eye.

  5. That Nick, he's a keeper! I held B up after surgery so he could pee. Thankfully he doesn't remember it due to the pain meds!

  6. Hillary - I am very sorry to laugh at your misfortune...but I did. Oh, awful.

    HKW - YOU are so sweet! Thank you!

    Jessica - Definitely.

    Maude - HAHAHAHAHAHA. Yes, he did.

    Tia - I know people are different, but peeing doesn't faze me. It's really just about anything having to do with one's anus that makes me twitch.

  7. Awww it's so romantic that he would even suggest going on the date!!

    We are not particularly romantic people, but yes I feel like whatever was there is fading with this pregnancy - we did perineal massage the other day! Awkward for me because I always feel gross down there at 8 mos. pregnant.

    But, somewhat romantic that he would even be willing to do it?

  8. You had hemorrhoid issues because you were pregnant. Nick got you pregnant... The way I see it, the hemorrhoids are his fault, which explains why he doesn't remember them / can easily ignore them... Us guys are good at ignoring things that are our fault... :-)

  9. I totally agree with VVK - they were as much his as they were yours ;)

  10. Hi Gloria, thanks for coming to visit me in frozen Germany! Oh, my husband and I are married since 42 years (which makes us fossils, I suppose) and I still get these vibes from him that make me cast a flirty smile back at him. And he was witnessing both our babies` deliveries and knows all about me. I think romance is there when you treat him like a just-found marvellous guy!
    I like your meeting strangers on the bus, I always do, too!

  11. frugalveganmom - Yah, every once in a while he sends flowers or asks me out on a date. He's more like this than I am. It's very sweet.

    Perineal massage! Romance is not dead!

    vvk - You are so right, my friend. His fault, his hemorrhoids!

    Masala Chica - VVK is a very smart character.

    Angela - You are so cute! Congratulations on 42 years! Yes, there are definitely moments - I should pay more attention to them, actually.

  12. oh, a nice date night! enjoy!

    also, i hope that the romance didn't die when i puked brocolli in the sink the first month of me and matt's relationship. that would be a little soon. he was such a trooper holding my hair back and cleaning that mess all out. sexy, right?

  13. Nick is wonderful, to be sure. But maybe not so abnormal...or at least I hope not... Wouldn't it be great if, all of us, every last one of us, could look past the 'bad' onward, to the good in each other?! The very same things he's looking past in you these days, are the very same things you will have to look past in him one day - they'll just be wearing different sweaters, is all!


Tell me about it.