Monday, June 06, 2011

If you were falling, then I would catch you

So, I hesitated to put up this photo because I look so damned wrinkly.

Look at the wrinkles! It might not be as stark if I weren't directly next to this glowing little wrinkle-free dollop of sparkly deliciousness. Ohhh, that skin!

I've only recently started realizing the extent of my wrinkles, and honestly, I sort of want a laser peel or botox or some kind of something. I don't even know. I have a big scar on my forehead, and that doesn't bother me. It's the eye wrinkles that kill me.

I suppose they're all bits of character, though.

But looking at that smooth, sweet, innocent face, you realize how little sun it's seen, how little hardship, and how many experiences lie ahead.

You know, one day Nick and I were talking about how much life Jordan has before him. And how we're going to have to see bad things happen to him, things we can't prevent.

Nick started listing physical dangers. He said, "He has tons of skinned knees in his future. He might break an arm."

It's true. I never broke anything, but I have scars galore from scrapes and scabs. (Don't pick your scabs! But they iiiitch!)

"Yah. And then one day somebody will break his heart."

Nick got these big tears in his eyes. "Jesus, Lisa. Broken bones are one thing. I can't think about that."


  1. Rachel in Chicago6/06/2011 4:44 PM

    This is why the thought of having kids scares the shit out of me!

  2. Oh God, that makes me weepy for Jordan, too. To think some wretch is going to break that cutie pie's heart is really too much to bear on a Monday afternoon.

  3. Such a sweet photo! You're beautiful and J's smile is bright. You'll prepare him for scrapes and emotional hurt, you will. But yes, I wish Mom's could protect their kiddos from heartbreak, oh I wish.

  4. What a sweet husband you have. It breaks my heart far in advance to think of all the bad things that will happen to my now one year old daughter. Unfortunately, I'd be one of those crazy people you hear about on the news if I tried to keep her in a perfect little bubble for all her years...

  5. awwww
    just think about all the hearts he's gonna break too!

  6. Ohh I must find a poem by John Laws(old radio host in oz) and send to you,its about that very thing,always makes me cry.not that I want you to's just very touching.

  7. I fail to see these "wrinkles" you mention. But Jordan's skin, it is indeed like butter.

    My kid will fortunately never feel heartbreak. I'm positive the rest of the world will also realize his perfection, and there won't be a person alive that doesn't return his affection. That's what I'm telling myself, anyway.

  8. I think you look phenom, as always, but I'm still going to email you the name of my dermatologist. If you're serious, he's fantastic.

  9. I've seen my kids through broken bones, skinned knees, terror. But your husband's right, watching their hearts break because others have disappointed or hurt them is much worse. Mine are still young and it's only been small heartbreak so far (left out of play, bullying, etc.) but it's brutal.
    As for the wrinkles, I totally understand. I'm a few weeks shy of 40 and the number doesn't bother me. At all. But the wrinkles? They do. I have a photo of me with my grandmother on her 95th birthday and for weeks, I found it difficult to look at because of what I saw in myself. But my grandmother is so radiant, so beautiful and 90 freaking 5 in the photo and I told myself to get over it. Now the photo is my screen saver on my laptop and my wrinkles are writ large.
    I started a blog post about it but couldn't finish. Maybe I should go back to it...
    (Also, you look beautiful!)

  10. I'm glad you shared the photo. It's so good.

    I never knew empathy, not really, until I had kids.

  11. If someone breaks poor J's heart, you can go after that little witch and make her sorry! Start off by scaring any girlfriend he might bring home, so that they know they can't get away with anything.

    Maybe you can adapt Melissa's theory of perfection and assume that a bright, positive, loving boy will only attract the same?

  12. But he'll be okay because he'll know that his mama will always be willing to stab the little hussy or dude who breaks his heart.

  13. beautiful story.

    i have ALL those wrinkles - they're from laughing so much!

  14. Let me just say that you look absolutely beautiful in that picture, Mommy! From one mommy to another -- you are a Goddess on Earth!

    I try not to think about the what if's of when he's older. Scabbed knees, and broken arms. I REALLY try not to think about his first kiss, or his first love breaking his heart.

    To hear what Nick said, I teared up too. You've such a lovely husband that he could say that.

    And remember -- you can ALWAYS buy that shot gun for when a girl shows up you don't like. It worked for my parents! :)

  15. I don't even want to think about the pain I put my parents through just watching me falter and break. It was hard enough living it, much less watching it. Parents are a tough lot.


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