Monday, September 22, 2008

And now we know why Betty is always offering us oysters and rhino tusk when we visit

Some of our family friends have already arrived in town. It feels like the celebration has begun! I love it!

Last weekend I wound up in a conversation with a very dear friend who my parents have known since before I was born. She hasn't yet met Nick, and I was getting her caught up on life and wedding and such.

We were talking about food for the rehearsal dinner - crab cakes and some kind of beef - and how we were told that that combo would cover most people, except the true vegetarians, for whom we're getting veg meals.

I don't eat beef, and she asked if Nick does. Which led us into a conversation about what he likes to eat, what we typically eat for dinner, etc.

I told her that Nick had been losing weight, and that we've really been trying to eat healthy.

She asked about this, and I said, "Well, Nick's already taking Lipitor."

"He has high cholesterol?"


At which point Betty interrupted to say, "It's for cholesterol? I thought Lipitor was the one that gave you the erection!"

The erection. Is how she put it.

"You mean Viagra?"

"Ohh - Viagra!"

I had to make an immense amount of fun of her. As you might imagine.

And so the thing that gives me most pause is as follows. Nick has been in a number of conversations with family friends - men, all - about Lipitor. I specifically remember a dinner table conversation about it.

Now, they weren't talking about what it did, more that their doctors had recommended it and how it's being touted as a miracle drug. Nick is young to be taking it, but better to start early.

This led me to two parallel dinner table scenes playing in my head. One in which men discuss the importance of cholesterol medication and arterial health. And the other in which they talk about their penis medication, which their doctors said they absolutely needed. Better to be safe than sorry.

As for Nick? Instructed to start preventative medication young. Because when he's older it could really be a crisis.

Betty must've been sitting there thinking, "Oh, God, the last thing I want to know is about the erections of my future son-in-law. Actually, maybe second to last, because Lord knows I've never wanted to hear about the erections of all these other men I've known for the last 40 years."

But of course what she said out loud was, "Would anyone like coffee or tea?"

(You know, to go with your big old erections?)


  1. that's great. and i love it when "the" is added to medical conditions... my favorite is always "The diabetes". listen for it, it's more common than you'd think.

  2. Would you believe my dad made Betty's mistake about a month ago. He and were talking about this and that. I asked how he and my mom were doing. "Need to get some Lipitor!" he said, and winked. "Cholesterol getting bad, Dad?"

    "No, I can't get it up like I used to!"

    Just wow.

  3. notsojenny - So interesting! I will definitely listen for it.

    Simple Scholar - Aaagh! This is exactly the kind of conversation that I never want to have with my parents. Makes me twitch!

  4. OK, well, you have to admit, it certainly shows your mom loves you since she was willing to tolerate that kinda nasty talk at the table.

  5. love it! i just heard a newsperson on the radio speaking about the tainted Chinese baby formula. she said that the babies who drank it not only have kidney failure, they also have renal failure. really!

  6. AH! Awesome. We're vegetarians, but we do eat rhino tusk. When it's in season.

  7. Hahaha!! Oh man, Betty is SUCH a trooper.

    Woo 5 days! :)

  8. Wow, that could make for some twisted conversations! But funny!

    Lipitor does seem to be used more and more for preventative care now--I'm on it, and have been since my early 20's. Sad, a bit, but better than heart disease down the road.

  9. Lemmonex - Betty is a very good sport.

    LJ - That's so terrible! Poor little kids! As for us, no more rhino tusk.

    Jordaan - Veg rehearsal dinner food for you. With rhino tusk garnish.

    A.S. - Yes!!!!!!! 5 days! And Betty rocks, always.

    Sarah - I know. Not the kind of thing you'd expect.

    As for Lipitor - they do seem to get getting younger and younger people on it for prevention. Definitely better to head off heart disease.

  10. hahaha... she sounds like my boss. he always gets the pills for genital herpes and the pills for depression mixed up. it can make for some... awkward moments.

  11. Oh my. I love Betty so much.

    You do realize that "the erection" will now have to become part of the 'Tits HQ vernacular.

    And stop crying! Or you're going to make me cry!


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