Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The state of the hole and Hector big wood

I thought I'd give you an update on the elevator. It's still going to be another six to eight weeks till it's in, they say.

Since it's a plastic tube and you choose from three set sizes, I assumed they could just call up the elevator store and be all, "Yeah, so we need three 12-foot long 37-inch tubes."

And then the elevator people would to go the 12-foot racks and take three off and stick them in a truck and there we'd go.

Australian Builder laughed very hard at the assumption. (Thankfully he was not around for the alarm conversation.)

Turns out you order them and it takes six weeks to make and a week to install. There's no sticking a tube between a floor and a ceiling, installing some buttons, and pressing Go!

So you may recognize this as the site of the former cat-pee hole. For which I now have an unopened and un-sent-back-to-Amazon bottle of Nature's Miracle for cat stuff.

I'm holding onto it until we've ripped all the necessary holes in all the relevant walls. And then, assuming we find no more cat pee to neutralize, I'm going to give it to someone with a cat pee problem (or rather, a cat-pee problem) - because if your cat has a pee-problem, I suggest the vet and possibly antibiotics, stat.

So before they cut the hole - which they did on every floor, perfect circles, all the way up (and covered with plywood so nobody falls through) - they built these walls to shore up the floor above while they were putting extra beams in. Nick assured me that even if they weren't properly supported, the floor would just slowly bow rather than falling directly on our heads.

But really, why not avoid that kind of thing if you can?

Also, it just occurs to me, are they walls if they have no sides? They're wall structures. I call them walls. Although I suppose they look more like prison?

I mean, if prison were plywood. Which would be so stupid because even if you didn't have a saw you could probably slowly gnaw your way out, you know?

Anyway, I quite like how the supporting wall/quarter-prison perfectly matches our child-proof gates. Don't you?
So, one of the construction guys is named Hector, and I believe he's the one who carried in the boards. I say this because when I got home one night Jordan pointed and announced, "Hector big wood!"

Every time we pass by the wall, he says, very matter-of-factly, "Hector big wood."

He likes to know you've heard him, so if you don't repeat it back or at least reply in the affirmative, then he keeps saying it. Overandoverandover until you make it clear that you heard him and you're in agreement.

These are how our conversations go.

Jordan, pointing: "Hector big wood."

"Yes, you're right. They're building a wall."

"Hector big wood."

"Yes. Hector big wood."

We say this like 50 times a day. I don't even know Hector's last name. But I'm pretty sure that he's always going to be Hector Bigwood to me.


  1. I'm sure Hector would relish having that nickname. Just a hunch.

  2. Thanks for the elevator status update! I laughed, I smiled, this post is just good, fun reading :)

    Very glad to hear you and Nick are avoiding the roof falling in. Because you can.

    Hector is a cool name. Hector Big Wood is in a category of it's own.

  3. totes impressed by the matchy-matchy of the baby gate and the prison walls.

    maybe nick couldn't, but i bet you could just...walk...out of this particular prison, though the thought of you gnawing your way out makes me giggle at my desk.

    p.s. you do know who this is, yes? i told you about the blogger/ google id name change?

  4. Hector does well with the ladies.

  5. I bet Hector would pay you handsomely to let him carry the boy with him for a while! Maybe you could tape J and send it to Hector so he could use it as his ringtone!!

  6. was wondering how Bettys Time Travel Capsule was going. I look forward to the first action vid of said capsule in motion with a smiling spacesuit bedecked Betty waving from the inside.

  7. Is Hector married/dating/attached? Because, if not, Jordan might make an excellent wingman.

  8. I'm sure Hector's head swells every time he hears Jordan call him Big Wood.

  9. I read the post, then the comments and tried to keep myself from busting out laughing at five thirty in the morning seeing as I don't want LBM to wake up and howl that it's time for breakfast just yet.

    Hector Big Wood. Maybe that was his randomly chosen from a FB quiz Porn Name???? I've always been fond of those kinds of quizzes where you get a Porn Name, or a Sexy Kitty Name or you find out what sort of Sex you are.

    I shall now go and laugh as quietly as possible some more over by the coffee pot. THanks for this!

  10. Lynn - Thanks. :)

    Tempest - Who wouldn't, really?

    HK - I'm glad! Thanks! And yes, Hector Big Wood is totally its own category.

    sloaneclearv - Absolutely! I just didn't know if I should use your real name since you changed it to be less clearly your name...

    And yes, I can walk through. But I think if I were imprisoned I'd feel obligated to gnaw through. It just seems more prisony.

    lacochran - None of my business. None!

    cla517 - That's really funny. I might like it as my ringtone, actually.

    Lynn - :)

    Go-Betty - I think I'm going to take the day off when they know when they're installing it. I cannot wait to see it.

    Lisa - I believe that he is married. In any case, Jordan is too young for bars. But when he gets older...

    Hillary - Still unclear if he gets it. But he laughs.

    Moue - This makes me happy! I love the idea of giggling at 5:30 am. Well, I prefer to be sleeping at that hour but if I'm not, giggling is next best.

  11. I have a cat pee problem and will gladly take that bottle off your hands (when you're done with it). I just recently discovered that my own Sam has created his own cat pee hole, literally burning a hole in the hardwood with his uring. Teh grossness of this!

  12. maybe when youre done with'll consider giving hector my number.. a good carpenter is a hard thing to find...

  13. My youngest does this repeat trick too and when it isn't adorable, it's maddening!

  14. Whatever was the result of the iron clawfoot bathub in J's future bedroom conversation?


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