Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Tarty boots + girl next door life = not so much

A couple days ago I realized that I desperately need some new boots to wear to work. So at the end of the day yesterday I was on the Nine West site looking at their boot selection.

What I needed were just totally practical, medium-heel black boots to wear with pants.

But of course I had to browse. I clicked on this pair. They are black patent and have almost a four inch heel. Clearly one couldn't wear them to work. At least not where I work. And actually, it occurred to me that I couldn't wear them socially either.

In other words, these boots were not to be mine. I couldn't pull them off. But I'd love to.

I have the coolest pair of shoes that I almost never wear. They're Marc Jacobs, black, 5" high (Which makes me 5'8"! How much do I love being 5'8"?) and have ankle straps and big buckles. Truth is, they look a wee bit S&M-y. OK, more than a wee bit. In a very stylish, hip way.

But honestly, they're almost impossible to wear. They are boyfriend shoes, and I don't have a boyfriend. I can't wear them on an early date, because I'd look like all, "Hi! Nice to see you! And, hey, by the way, could you tie me up?"

Yeah, no.

And I can't just wear them out with friends, without getting raised eyebrow heh heh kind of looks from guys. I know it would be the same with these boots. Maybe someone else could pull them off, but not me.

Just to get other opinions, last night I asked if anyone from the quad was still there. And we were at 75% power, it turned out.

So I asked, over the wall, if there is any way to wear knee-high black patent leather boots without looking like a tart. The woman who shares a wall to my left said no, absolutely not. You cannot wear boots like that and not look like a hooker.

And Bob said, "Uhh...Wait...Let me see the boots."

And he came over and looked at the picture and was all, "You could totally wear those boots! I think you'd look great in them."

"Not like a hooker?"

"Not at all."

"Really? But I can't think of an outfit I have that would look OK with them. What would you imagine I could wear them with?"

He paused. And said, "Maybe with...some...fishnets? Definitely fishnets! That'd be great! And...to be honest...I can't really think of anything else."



  1. I fell in love with those boots!!! Have to order them. Me personally???? I will wear them with jeans to the next PTA meeting, just to piss the frumpy stay at home moms off.......hee hee

  2. Haha! I can totally picture you doing that! You'll be able to pull them off in a way I couldn't.

  3. oh, i think if you found a pair with like, a half an inch off the heel and a bit of a less-pointy toe, you'd be good to go. these kind of boots have morphed into something of a fashion staple over the last five years, i think...

    i'm getting more and more aggravated with big heels in my old age (ha), so i'm searching in vain for a good pair of knee-high black boots that have more of a moderate wedge-type heel. i know they're out there...i will not be denied! :)

  4. For what it's worth, as a straight guy with straight guy fashion sense I definitely think the boots could work--provided you weren't wearing them with shorts! Go with the below-the-knee skirt. Spicy yet subtle. Even that shouldn't piss off any of our really up tight DC'ers!

  5. kate.d. - Yes, I think the boots you're describing might work. I love the really high heels still. It's so hard to find perfect black boots!

    Riley - I thought about that, I really did, as I love boots and skirts and wear those all winter. These are patent leather, though, and so high and spiky, and that combo I just don't think can ever be subtle.

  6. Ah, point taken (no pun intended). Patent leather is a bit out there, although I was just in NYC and was struck by how many women were sporting bright red patent leather boots. A world away....

  7. I just order a pair of 5 inch platforms. We shall see whether or not they are taken out of the box and made use of.

  8. Those are called "f*ck me boots"

    Not that I'd know from experience or anythihg.

  9. I have a pair of Donald J. Pliner's (www.donaldjpliner.com - they're the first boots that show up) that are not quite as shiny and not quite as tall that are totally wearable at work, and I'm a fairly conservative dresser. They're also showing a wedge style and some booties that are gorgeous too...

  10. If you don't mind ordering shoes online, Boden is another great place for boots. They carry a pair of suede knee-high boots with a wedget heel. www.bodenusa.com

    Good luck in the search for the perfect pair of boots! I'm in love with suede this year

  11. Riley - Argh! You are totally unhelpful. Because now? What I want more than anything? Are some red patent leather boots. Seriously. I'm on a search. And on the practicality scale those are veeeery low.

    FK - Fun!!! I'll be curious!

    Jo - Ha! Yes, they definitely are!

    Anon - Oh, a friend of mine had great Pliner boots. I didn't see any that are exactly what I want, though.

    HKW - I just looked and they have a pretty and practical black pair I loved but no size 36. Bummer! But I'm glad to learn about Boden! Thank you!

  12. Oooo, sorry. And to make matters worse, I have absolutely no idea where you would find a pair of red patent leather boots. Although come to think of it, maybe that's a good thing all around. Hmmm.

  13. I'm absolutely with the 25% of your quad which voted for the boots. So what if guys would slobber on themselves? Dress up once in a while. Even if you only wore them once a month you make some guy's day! Don't be selfish. Don't worry about comfort or what people will think of you. Don't be a hater. Spread some happiness in the world.

    BTW - I wish I had coworkers like yours. Friends in the workplace make all the difference. You spend more time with them than anyone else - best if you like them. I work for a guy who's inconsiderate and short sighted. My coworkers are okay, but just plain simple women. They are both nice ladies, but neither would I ask to share a cup of coffee or split a bottle of wine.

  14. First of all, Double D's Daughter just made me choke on my tea because that is EXACTLY what she'll do!! (And Triple D, I have boots just like that for you to borrow anytime!)

    Meanwhile, wearing those boots would NOT make you look like a hooker at all, as long as you ignore Bob's horrific suggestion of wearing them with fishnets (which also made me laugh!). You can totally pull those off. If you don't buy them, I will... and send them to you for Christmas. >:)

  15. Maybe if you wore them with a Muumuu?

    I dunno. Just thinkin.

  16. Riley - Yah, maybe.

    2x4 - You are right. I am being totally selfish in terms of the boots. As for office friends - I do feel very lucky.

    Almost - I know she will! So awesome! And I can totally picture you looking fabulously glam in boots like these but truly, I just can't imagine pulling them off.

    Rich - Hmm. Maybe. But I think I'm more likely to wear these than ever wear a muumuu...

  17. Love those boots! I always worry that being so short, I would look silly in tall boots. I need to get over that.

    I just went to Nine West yesterday and tried on four different pairs of boots. And some Mary Janes.

    I left with these and the Mary Janes. Yay shoes!

  18. I'm going to have to agree with Bob on this one...but again, from the sly "those arn't so bad" guy viewpoint.

  19. I was just trying to de-sexify the shoes.

    Although, thinking about it, MuuMuu fetishists are a fiecely vocal bunch.

  20. DCup - Those are super cute! And yes, you need to get over that. Tall boots would look great on you - esp with tall heels!

    Azurael - Ha ha! Thanks for explaining the viewpoint.

    Rich - Muumuu fetishists - a vocal bunch. You totally made me laugh out loud at that image.

  21. I have seen very few women pull those kind of boots off without looking trashy...
    but these


    i think anyone can pull off, and im pretty sure they come in black, its just not on the website

  22. I think they're doable, but if you aren't comfortable wearing them with a skirt, buy a pair of pointy toed patent leather ankle boots to wear with pants. I just bought a pair yesterday! :)


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