Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Non-standardized testing

I've always been pretty decent at standardized tests. I even tend to do well on the math part, which is what really makes me think they're a pretty suspect way of measuring anything.

Because seriously, I once asked for something to be split 60-30. I do math on my fingers and toes.

Anyway, I can't even remember how long ago I took the GRE. And that was the last one I took.

So the other night I dreamt I was taking a standardized test.

Let me just mention that I always have bizarre dreams. Always. I should start a dream category, actually.


I was in the gym of my high school in Delhi. There were rows and rows of desks and chairs. We had those blue booklets they made you use in college. I could feel the stress of sitting there with the timer going.

The questions were a combination of multiple choice and essay.

I can't remember very many of the questions. And because of the nature of the questions, I sort of realized it was a dream. But still I was really stressed, trying my best.

The questions?

Well, for example, you were asked to write an essay on how to make guacamole. Which is not hard, but who has the precise directions and measurements in their head? Think about writing a recipe from zero. It's easy to miss a step.

Also: Describe how to drive a stick shift, and how you know when you need to shift gears. What channel is Jon Stewart on, and at what time? Explain what to do with your metro card if it gets demagnetized. What is "Bye Bye Miss American Pie" about?



  1. I was chased around by an ex with a hunting rifle. And not MY ex, but my friend's ex.


  2. Ha, you should get your dreams analyzed sometime. Not that all of that isn't total bullshit, but it might be good for le blog. :)

  3. What IS Bye Bye Miss American Pie about?! I'm a dreamer, usually odd ones. The other night Patrick Dempsey, wearing scrubs, and I were discussing medicine in my dream. Only neither of us are doctors and I haven't watched Grey's Anatomy in months. It's really quite worrisome, being visited by an actor and not an expert, in dreamland.

  4. I feel like I've commented on a blog and given this web site. If it was you, well, I guess I really want you to visit it + :)

    I really don't have any advice on how to search for the meaning of "taking a test about how to make guacamole" dreams but good luck anyways.

  5. FreckledK - Scary and violent! Yikes! Also, have never made guac in my life. But I do think I could wing it.

    Nicole - Good idea - could be very good for le blog. (le blogue?)

    HKW - Someone told me at some point and I can't remember. There are a ton of references in it. As for Patrick Dempsey - medical advice??? I would hope if I dream about him I kiss him (sorry in advance, Nick).

    Canaan - Thanks. I feel like you have, and I am sorry to say I never got around to it.

  6. Canaan - I looked it up: To dream that you are taking an exam, signifies insecurities, fear of not meeting others' expectations, and fear of failure.

  7. mmm... Guacamole... My mother makes some really good guacamole. I can make some decent guac, but not as good as hers. Of course, in typical Indian mom fashion, there are no recipes involved. Just a list of whichever ingredients happen to be available.

    Also, I hate standardized tests. I'd much rather be interviewed or give a lecture or some such crazyness...

  8. "Explain what to do with your metro card if it gets demagnetized." There's something you can do? Aside from complaining to the metro attendant? Who knew! You are a wealth of (subliminal) knowledge.

    Might I suggest that you may be worried about facing a form of test in another part of your life?

  9. "American Pie" is about important music events that happened after Buddy Holly died in the plane crash.

  10. VVK - Yum. I bet it's fantastic! I could see you preferring your own path for demonstrating knowledge, for sure

    lacochran's evil twin - I have a cute orange purse with very strong magnets and have demagnetized so many metro cards and had to get those envelopes from the station attendant and send them in. That's precisely where that question came from.

    And absolutely - 100 days till we get married. 85 things to organize and make sure are right so people have a nice time at the wedding. And then I take on a whole new family. AND my boss just left and I'm in charge of communications through the upcoming annual meeting. Being tested? Scared of failure? No question.

    Jordaan - Of course you would know! Of course! Thanks.

  11. Well, crap. Sorry I mentioned the website. Don't go back there again :)


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