Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The relativity of the office

I am usually a good little worker bee.

I have good ideas, I meet deadlines, and I don't get all complain-y about stupid crap. You can give me a project involving something I haven't done before and I'll figure it out without many questions, or even much supervision. Generally, in fact, I am a fantastic employee.

But sometimes I am not.

I realize that the world is like this. Things go up and down. And in our office, as I've said before, it's not the fucking hunt for Osama bin Laden. Nothing is honestly critical.

But still. I'm a first-born-rule-follower. I feel guilty pretty easily.

So I called Nick. I whispered into the phone.

"I'm being a terrible employee."

"Sweetie, I'm sure you'd doing a fine job."

"I'm not. I just can't force myself to focus on this project."

"Are you actively working to bring down the company?"

"Well, no."

"Then I'm sure you're way ahead of at least a couple of your colleagues."

14 comments:

  1. "Not actively working to bring down the company." Perfect! You and Nick have no idea what this does for my professional-self-esteem.

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  2. Hahahahaha! Him saying that made me feel a whole lot better! :)

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  3. Ha, I feel like a terrible employee lately too (mostly because I'm spread too thin), but this made me feel better.

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  4. this makes me laugh, as I read it at work, while ignoring my other professional responsibilities.

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  5. oh i so feel you on this one. and i'm pretty sure my husband said the same thing as nick :-D

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  6. Are y'all hiring? I'm awesome at slacking off on the company dime. Awesome!

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  7. Dude. I own the company, and I feel the same way sometimes.

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  8. Nothing like setting the bar low. Love it!

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  9. This post made my day. I tabbed over from My Space to read it and after reading, I tabbed right back over without feeling guilty. :)

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  10. I feel so much better now. It's day two on my new job, the boss left early, all I have left to do is read some info on the real estate market and what am I doing?

    Blog reading.

    Day two. Not actively working to bring down the organization, but not exactly focusing......

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  11. "I have good ideas, I meet deadlines, and I don't get all complain-y about stupid crap. You can give me a project involving something I haven't done before and I'll figure it out without many questions, or even much supervision. Generally, in fact, I am a fantastic employee."

    If you can do that even 20% of the time, you're worth your weight in gold! You've earned a little slacker time.

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  12. Nicole - Very glad I could help. :)

    Slightly Disorganized - You make the very good point that while we're on each other's blogs, we are very clearly shirking professional duties...

    mrsmac - It's a very helpful thing for a husband to say. :)

    FreckledK - If I get fired for malingering, my position will be wide open for ya and I'll definitely let you know.

    Rich - That is soooo good to hear. Thank you!

    Wendy - Ha - I know. Couldn't set it a whole lot lower, could you? I am so prone to guilt that it was such a good thing to say to me.

    Canaan - Hahahahahaha!

    DCup - Ah, in early days you don't really know what you're doing enough to be super productive anyway. I'm glad you're visiting!

    lacochran - Wow, thanks. I really, really appreciate that.

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  13. haha. I'm 99% positive you are ahead of more than half my office...

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  14. Hmmm... I've been incredibly productive for the few weeks... and I haven't been "actively working to bring down the company..."

    But at times, I've grumbled and wanted to actively work bring down *something*...

    *grumble* *grumble* *grumble*

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