Thursday, June 04, 2009

Comcast douchemonkeys redux

There are such bigger things in the world - in my world - than this.

But I have to say, this indignance is kind of an enjoyable respite from the crushing, breathtaking grief.

So I got this angry angry venting call from Nick.

I suggested he get in touch with the person at Comcast who was actually helpful, but I think he thinks this is beyond help. We'll see if he calls her, but I doubt it.

Here's the deal.

So you know how all indignant and "fuck fuck fucktards douchemonkeys we hate them!" we were about the craptacular service we got from Comcast all those months ago?

After that, I got a very nice email from someone high up the chain, who was polite and professional, and I believe is the reason we actually got an response or service or attempt to fix our issue. This is the woman I want him to contact.

We kept Comcast until a week ago (we thought). Because at Nick's they were our only option.

So Nick requested a stop in service on the day we moved out. But in the last couple days, he's gotten calls forwarded from his home phone.

The phone we no longer have. Because, like everything else, it is in storage.


Upon enquiry, Comcast said, "Yeah, well, you never returned the TiVo card. So we keep charging you your monthly service until you return it."

In my imagination, they are high-fiving each other at the call center. One more customer fucked over!

There is probably a tally at the office. At the end of every month, there is a prize for most cusomers fucked while pretending to give good service.

There is a posted list in the kitchen of things not to remind customers to do while canceling service. Drag it out! Keep them paying!

But back to reality.

The TiVo card is in storage until the 20th.

At this point, it's not like it's a lot more money. It's just one more fucking piece of Comcassholery.

According to them, sure, they could reduce our service to just the TV cable and eliminate the phone and wireless.

But it won't reduce our bill. Even though we are using none of it, and when he called to request a stop in service, they never said, "We stop it when you return your card."

Her suggestion? "Why don't you just transfer your existing service to your new residence?"

"Because I would rather eat rocks and nails."

I wasn't there, but I believe he went on to explain how Comcast, in his experience, is the biggest bunch of incompetent assholes he's ever encountered, and he hates them with a fiery passion.

Or something along those lines.

My husband, as you know, is incredibly polite until provoked. And then, he is creative and generous with the profanity and epithets. You all know about the peeing on the carpet and such.

She ended the call with, "Well, have a nice day."

And Nick replied, "And you have a Comcastic day."


  1. Nick reminds me of me. And my dad.

    Seriously - we are reasonable, level-headed people. Until we are not. And once we are not, well... it's alarming, especially to those who have not seen it before.

    People like that are good to have in your corner (if I do say so myself).

    I would contact the person who helped you before, though. This is ridiculous.

  2. Serves those comcassholes right.

  3. Dagny - You and Nick are definitely people I want in my corner. For always.

    And I think he should too. She was great.

    Sarah - Yes!

  4. I keep meaning to drop this company since I have the fios option, but I've just never gotten around to it. Have to *really* put it on my "to do" list for this month.

    Thanks for the tivo card hint.

  5. That is such utter and complete bullshit. And "Comcassholery" -- bwahahaha!

  6. Just keep asking for a supervisor till they give you free stuff. That's what I always do. It works.

  7. Is there no end? This stuff makes me want to be Amish.

  8. FoggyDew - My dad got FIOS as soon as they offered it, and they've had great service. Even when we gave them TiVo, all of the stuff was installed correctly and worked with their cable from day one.

    Wendy - It's tremendous bullshit, but I don't even know why we were surprised.

    Maxie - I suppose next time we should try just going up the chain. It all makes me tired.

    Susan - I believe it's endless. I do. As for the Amish, I hear they have a lot of puppy mills. I'd rather have cable troubles than run a puppy mill.

  9. cable companies = THE DEVIL

    my sister just got a call from a collections agency about a cable bill that was due 2 years ago.
    she cancelled her phone/cable/internet service when they moved. she left a forwarding address. she returned all the fucking equipment to the company. however, the collections agency says that even though she did all that, she didn't expressively request that her phone service be turned off (even though to use the phone, you have to have a box thingy (it was a digital phone) and the box thingy was part of the equipment she returned.) AND SHE NEVER GOT A BILL! At her new address. The address she left on file with the company. So they just sent it to a collections agency and know she's all vexed because she thinks her credit score is going to be affected by a stupid $146 bill that she never even received. SO CRAZY!

    I hope Comcast sees this blog post and your nice Comcast lady calls Nick to resolve this. It's completely unacceptable.


    i know i've said it before but, i love your husband!

  11. Hillary - That's a terrible story. There must be something she can do about it so that it doesn't affect her credit. That's just tremendous assholery. That makes me so mad.

    And Comcast has emailed. I passed it on to Nick, as it's his account. We'll see where this goes.

    notsojenny - You don't get bored when you're with him, I'll tell you that.

  12. Oh, Lisa, I'm sorry to hear about a new issue with the cable carrier. I started to say cable service provider but clearly service is out of the picture.

    I had a similar encounter today. I was so angry and upset I used the f word on my blog and I never use the f word. Not that I have anything against it, it's perfect for many situations, I just can't pull off saying it.

  13. Ummm ok not knowing what Comcast or a TiVo card or any of that stuff is because down here in New Zealand we dont have cable TV. I presume thats what its all about :S.
    We still have shitty telephone companys and sky TV network companies that screw people over every chance they get though. Yes I am sure the employee of the month award in these places has a catagory for number of clients screwed over for the month.
    On another note its great to vent and have something to distract your attention and take your frustration out on at the moment :)

  14. let's see lisa, in the last year you have had *many* life changes: you got married, you're going to have a baby, you moved, you bought a house, you moved again temporarily until your house is ready, at which point you will move again, and your dad died . . . yeah, you need ONE MORE THING. that's what you should scream into the phone if you have to call Comcast again. just my two cents!

  15. I just want to personally thank Nick for expressing my sentiments. I had to wait 6 months and call twice to get my refund for returned merchandise. Both times I was told "It should be there in two weeks". I swore I heard another high five just before they hung up. I hope they contact you and give you free things. diapers perhaps? It would kinda be in appropriate since it would also prevent any carpet peeing.


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