Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Year three

For the past two years, we've gone to the Tabard on the 13th to celebrate our first date.

It's a ritual I love. It's an anniversary I love somehow more than our wedding anniversary. It feels bigger or something to me, although I don't know why.

The first year, we met there, and Nick was sitting on the same couch where I'd first seen him. We saw a woman who thought Nick might be her date get stood up. Last year we went as a family, sat in the lobby because of the crowds, and chatted with a woman who was waiting for a very late, very cavalier first date.

And this year, this year we found ourselves at our kitchen table on Saturday night, swilling red wine and eating hastily-thrown-into-the-oven-after-a-long-day very mediocre cheese enchiladas from Trader Joe's.

The glamor, it abounds.

Last week I'd remembered that our anniversary was coming up. I'd meant to suggest we head to the Tabard in the afternoon.

And then I had a work trip, and we all got colds, and by Friday night even Nick, who is strong like bull, was snuffling and coughing. And I just plain forgot.

Somewhere mid-meal, I remembered, and raised my glass, and said, "Hey, happy anniversary. Three years ago tonight."

And Nick said, "I don't mean this the way it sounds, but doesn't it seem like a hell of a lot longer than three years?"

Yes. Yes, it does.

I never expected to feel so, well, comfortable. I know comfortable sounds bad, like we're sitting around in sweat pants in front of the TV eating potato chips and farting.

Which is not to say we never do any of those things, although so far not all together.

But what I mean is comfortable like the exhalation of a deep breath, or like the sunshine on your face when you step out the door in the morning. Comfortable like coming in from the rain and putting on warm, dry clothes.

Comfortable like home.

But not growing up home.

It would be an unfair exaggeration to say I grew up with the earth constantly shifting under my feet. Regularly, but not constantly. But it is true that with my dad, there was always a certain amount of, well, uncertainty in my world.

And now, now there is so much certainty.

I imagine one of these days it could get boring. But here and now, boy, do I love being certain.


  1. I love this post. "Comfortable like home" basically describes how my mom told me she felt when she dated my dad. Good stuff.

  2. I know just what you mean. My growing up years were filled with uncertainty. In fact, so were many of my adult years. 18 years ago I married my husband Tim, aka, Mr. Certainty. I thought it might get boring...it has not. Certainty is relly all it's cracked up to be in the long run. I'm happy for you!

  3. Lucky you! Congratulations.

  4. Comfortable like a blanket?

    Certainty certainly sounds lovely. Congratulations :o)

  5. Comfortable, secure, certain. All those things we want to feel. Happy 3rd anniversary guys and thank you so much for taking us on your journey with you.
    You know LG I went back to the 'to celebrate our first date' link for a recap read and really you should pursue your writing dream becasue that was an amazing piece of writing, simple, emotive, descriptive and it put me there like a bystander watching you too meet for the first time and at later anniversaries. You have a gift girl and the world is a better place for being able to share it. Believe in yourself.

  6. Two. lol god I am such a grammatical slob sometimes lol.

  7. This is beautiful - simply beautiful. I know what you mean about this day being somehow more special than the wedding anniversary. Makes perfect sense... the latter could never have happened, but for the former.

    That's why D and I chose to marry so close to the same date... and we still choose the 18th (we met on October 18th) as our monthly date night.

    Happy three years to you and Nick!

  8. Here's to comfortable! Happy 3 years! Pass the chips. ;)

  9. Kate Bee - Thank you. I was looking and looking for home.

    Kate - I'm very glad you found him, and you're living a happy life. I like the name Mr. Certainty. Variety and uncertainty can be interesting and exciting...but it's not a forever way to live for me.

    Dana - Thank you!

    Hillary - Thanks, hunny bunny.

    Jessica - Yes. One of those lovely soft fleecy ones.

    Carla - I'm glad! :)

    Go-Betty - Ah, thank you, my friend. I appreciate the kind words. I really like that post. And I know all too well that the grammar and spelling can so easily fall by the wayside when you're typing quickly.

    Susan H - Thanks!

    Keenie Beanie - Thanks very much. Yah - exactly. It was kind of a bigger deal to meet in the first place.

    I wanted to get married on the 13th because it's my birthday, the night we met, and my favorite number. But it wasn't available at our venue.

    I love that you have a monthly date night on your special date!

    kayare - Thank you! Hahahaha!

  10. Oh my gosh, 3 years? Comfortable is such a wonderful thing.

  11. I'm so, so happy for you. You were already married when I first saw your blog. I don't know how, but a page popped up while I was surfing, a photo of you and maids, in that gorgeous suite y'all had for dressing before the wedding. I had the flu, and was feeling snarky, and thought, "Oh, a window on a bunch of East Coast bitches. Let's check these snobs out." And I got hooked, and back tracked to your very first post, and spent my whole convalesence that week on day on of LG, up to date. What a joy you guys have been.

    Congratulations Lisa & Nick. I am so happy for you.
    ...And may I ask, BTW - what's so bad about sitting around in sweat pants in front of the TV eating potato chips and farting? ;o)

  12. certainty is comfy. comfy is good.
    congrats :) to many more!

  13. Oh I am so happy to read this. My daughter fell very ill in 3rd grade (liver disease) and I remember falling apart and praying. But I wouldn't make promises I knew I would falter on. I just begged the universe or God or...to please just give us a normal life. To let her grow up to be a pain in my neck, to go to the prom, to get grounded and to just give us all a normal life. And that we got...my daughter is 23 now, getting married in 3 weeks! Here's to the comfort of marriage. When it's normal it is oh so good!

  14. Comfortable is how is should be -- Congrats

  15. this is an absolutely lovely post. congratulations to you two, and many happy returns.


Tell me about it.